O sleep, O gentle sleep, Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee, That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down And steep my senses in forgetfulness?
It's 7:45 am. I'm nestled comfortably in the warmth that is my bed after a good nights sleep. On comes my clock radio, Dean Blundell and his morning crew are laughing about something, and I have yet wake up completely.
"This is Nickelback, Photograph on 102.1 The Edge.", announces Dean... My own private hell begins.
I dive out from under the covers to slam the clock radio off, but not before Chad Kroeger is able to ask me to "Look at this photograph!" I shudder with rage and start my day.
I love Edge 102. As radio stations go it's probably my favourite (Sorry Classical 96.) However, for most of the school year I have woken up to that god damned Nickelback song 9 times out of 10. I don't want to look at that photograph, I don't want to hear Chad Kroeger and company moan their way through yet another boring Ass Rock song. No matter what time I set my alarm for it seems this song is destined to haunt my waking hours.
I submit this link as an example of the suckiness that is Nickelback. Two songs on one album, that when played on top of one another sound identical.
This Thursday or Friday morning I am going down to Edge 102 with a sign and I'm going to protest the playing of this song. The sign will hopefully look like this:
STOP CHAD KROEGER AND NICKELBACK!
BOYCOTT NICKELBACK. DOWN WITH ASS ROCK! SUPPORT GOOD CANADIAN MUSIC!
Now I don't know what this will achieve, probably little. But I would rather wake up to quality Canadian artists like Broken Social Scene, K-OS, The Arcade Fire, Death From Above 1979 or Sloan any day of the week. Is that so much to ask?
I know I am not alone in this. If you feel the same way about Nickelback please support me in my cause.
But onto other business...
Revenge of the Sith Ain't Bad
Journalist/Filmmaker Matt Zoller Seitz outlines the reasons why Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith is better than people give it credit for and doesn't get its due.
I was heartened to learn that About.com movie critic Jurgen Fauth put "Revenge of the Sith" on his Top 10 list, in the number one spot, no less. He even encouraged people to revisit his original review -- the most thoughtful, non-condescending piece of writing done on this movie by any critic anywhere. What stones. In the increasingly hermetic world of American film criticism, there are certain things we all know for sure, and one of them is that saying George Lucas' movies have heft is a surefire way to get your Cool Film Critic credentials revoked. Fauth had better go down into a bunker and not come out until at least March. (The movie made my own Top 20; it probably would have made the Top 10 if Lucas had given Padme something to do, and if I'd been able to defend the dialogue some other way besides saying, "If it was in Japanese with English subtitles, you wouldn't be making fun of it.")
For my American friends. As if the actual State of the Union isn't reason enough to start drinking, you now have a fun excuse! Tonight, as President George W. Bush gives his State of the Union Address you and all your friends can play a drinking game!
Every time the President says "Iraq" or "Iran" you take a shot. Every time he says "Nuclear" or some crazy variation of it : take a shot! And so on and so forth.
So drink up! It's going to be a long night. Who cares about work or school tomorrow, there's nothing better than a hangover on somebody else's time!
Do you like the idea of Captain Picard shooting someone with a Tommy Gun? Do you like the idea of that something being everyone's favourite fat kid: Chunk from The Goonies? Do you like the idea of Chunk from The Goonies being bullet-proof?
Well wait no longer, because those ideas are now a reality!
I just like the idea that somebody thought this up, and then spent hours making it.
Stay tuned for my next post when I discuss how great the Schwarzenegger classic Total Recall is.
Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.
It is interesting how Google search results can vary from country to country. Although Google claims not to censor their queries in most of the Western World, the same cannot be said for some other countries.
Take China for example. If you do a Google Image search for "tiananmen" on Google.com you get this. Exactly what you would expect from such a query, pictures of the 1989 student massacre in Tiananmen Square in Beijing.
Take the same query and enter it into the Google.cn Image Search and you'll find what you get is a little different. You get beautiful pictures of the Square, with happy, peaceful people. This is Chinese censorship, on Google... Pretty shitty of them wouldn't you say?
Sorry for the serious tone... Since I'll be boring you later with a political analysis time for something more entertaining. Why be serious when you can be laughing about something?
Kevin Federline Is A Tool.
The smartest thing this man has done and will ever do was to knock up Britney Spears. It seems to have been all down hill from there for Mr. Britney Spears. Kevin Federline has it in his head that he is some kind of talented recording artist and recently released his first Hip Hop single "PopoZao", which is Portuguese for "Back that sweet ass up here" or something to that effect. And here is Mr. Federline unveiling his new single to the world and jamming to it.
Now I hate to apply such a wise and worldly quote to a person such as Kevin Federline... But the old adage goes "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."
We all thought you were a fool K-Fed... But now that you're shouting it from the rooftops we don't have to think it anymore; we know.
And what would a pop-culture phenomenon such as K-Fed be without the 2 cents of Conan O'brien. Here the host of Inside the Actor's Studio, James Lipton gives us his own version of "Popozao".
A school in London has banned children from raising their hands in class and teachers from calling on students with their hands raised.
"It is every child's instinct and every teacher's instinct as well because it is ingrained in us," said Andrew Buck, the school's principal.
"Some pupils are jiggling so much to attract the teacher's attention that it sometimes looks as if they need the lavatory, then when it is their turn they often don't know the answer. Boys -- and it is usually boys -- are seeking attention, so they put their hands up before they have had time to think about the question."
Buck said the same children often wave their arms in the air, but when teachers try to involve less adventurous pupils by choosing them instead, it leads to feelings of victimization, the Daily Telegraph reported Saturday.
To spare embarrassment of the students who do not know the answer, the school has incorporated a "phone a friend" system, allowing one child to nominate another to take the question instead.
What the hell is happening to the United Kingdom? First, failure became "Deferred Success" and now this. Let the kid get the answer wrong and correct them...
It's called LEARNING! NOT PAWNING THE QUESTION OFF ON OTHER STUDENTS! STUPID!!! It truly confounds me.
Is Jack Layton the Video Professor?
Buy My Product.
At some point during the Canadian election campaign it struck me that Jack Layton looked very familiar. I had seen the New Democrat leader somewhere before... In a role that didn't involve some form of government. Then last week I saw it; and it clicked.
As I scanned the channels late one night I came across one of those charming Video Professor infomercials. I was amazed... John W. Scherer: the said Video Professor bares a striking resemblance to Jack Layton.
I am now convinced the two are in fact one and the same -- Pushing the social democratic agenda while hawking their shoddy wares. If this isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is.
But enough trite nonsense.
The election took place 1 week ago, on January 23rd. The Conservative Party won themselves a minority government. Although, the Prime Minister-Designate and myself disagree in terms of several social policies -- I wholeheartedly support the Tory platform that deals with fiscal, judicial and government reform. I hope they will be able to pursue these goals in the upcoming parliament.
Prime Minister-Designate Stephen Harper.
In theory, this minority government has the potential to be quite effective. None of the opposition parties want to call another election any time soon. The Liberals need a new leader with the impending resignation of Prime Minister Paul Martin, the NDP don't want to lose what ground they have made, and the Bloc doesn't want to lose any more support to the Grits or Tories in Quebec. That leaves a very big window, in which HOPEFULLY, the parties will be able to build consensus, since no one party holds the true majority of the power in parliament. They will have to work together, and everyone will be in check... So people can stop worry about the Tories destroying the country that they themselves founded.
Prime Minister Paul Martin is left scratching his head.
The government accountability measures, the GST reduction and the mandatory minimum sentences for gun-related crimes are all issues the other parties will go along with, or else they'll be shooting themselves in the foot. The Conservatives ran a great campaign, but now comes the hard part! I'm looking forward to seeing the Tories once again prove themselves able to lead Canada.
And that is that, I will try to update more regularly from now on.