The Sixth Estate

2006-08-26T02:11:00.000-04:00

Old and Busted

O, how shall summer's honey breath hold out
Against the wreckful siege of battering days,
When rocks impregnable are not so stout,
Nor gates of steel so strong, but Time decays?

This will be my last post on the Blogger iteration of The Sixth Estate.

My blog has moved, along with all my previous posts... to Blogware.

The Sixth Estate now at http://roninkengo.blogware.com/.

The new site is a work in progress, so stay tuned.

Update your bookmarks!

It's been "fun" Blogger.

- Will

2006-07-13T23:32:00.000-04:00

That Funny Little Thing Called Vox and My Future on Blogger

You have too much respect upon the world:
They lose it that do buy it with much care.

I've been having a number of problems with Blogger.com over the past while. That is why I've decided that I will be moving my blog to another blog service. Maybe Typepad. Maybe WordPress. Or maybe Blogware. We'll see what happens...

In the mean time I've been playing around with a new site called Vox.

Vox combines Blogger, Myspace, Flickr and Youtube all into one media friendly package. It's very cool. I was lucky enough to be invited during the beta phase, so for now it's invite only.

But watch out! It's the next big thing.

Check out my Vox Site.

I made a list of my Top 10 Favourite Movie Scenes (That I could find on Youtube)

Enjoy!

- Will

2006-06-08T09:52:00.000-04:00

I Am Not Afraid

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd
And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven;
The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth
And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change.

I really have been meaning to update the site, but life has a habit of getting in the way sometimes.

I just finished up a production of As You Like It in the park and I've started a job at an office downtown for the summer. I would love to blog from work, but I'm sure my boss would not appreciate that. And yet here I am, sitting in my cubicle(Holy crap I've got a cubicle!) writing this... On my blog. Oh crap, here comes the CEO. *minimizes window and looks busy*

*Phew* That was a close one. Anyways, on to the reason I am writing this post.

In lieu of the recent RCMP and CSIS operation that apprehended 17 men accused of plotting to bomb targets in the Toronto area and allegedly wanting to storm Parliament Hill, there has naturally been a lot of discussion on the internet. People of all political stripes in Canada have been weighing in, with the general response being one of shock, fear and anger. We weren't attacked, but the recent arrests show that we very well could have been. We were lucky we weren't attacked, but now the bubble of complacence has been burst and in its place we see fear and confusion.

We should not be afraid. We should not be afraid because it is the very reaction terrorism is designed to elicit. Rather than acting rashly and reacting out of fear or bigotry, Canadians need to carefully examine the reasons why something like this could happen. At a time like this Canadians need to come together and show the world that this kind of thing will not shake us from our daily lives.

Pundit, punk rocker and blogger Warren Kinsella is spearheading a campaign to do just this. He and several others have started a website http://www.iamnotafraid.ca/ for people to post their artistic/photographic/poetic responses/ reactions to this troubling event. The website will also help to organize a rally at a Blue Jays game, designed to raise people's collective voices on the subject and show everyone that we are not afraid.

I think it's a great idea, and exactly the kind of thing Canadians need to see and be a part of right now. Here's more info from an article in the Toronto Sun.

NO-FEAR PARTY PLANNED

BY VIVIAN SONG

High-profile party planners have mobilized once again during a tense, crisis-filled moment for the city, announcing plans to host a party at the Rogers Centre and send a message to would-be terrorists.

The "I am not afraid" campaign is meant to be "positive and populist," says Warren Kinsella, former Liberal strategist and aide to ex-Prime Minister Jean Chretien.

Kinsella is the mastermind of the campaign, but has also secured the support of Liberal ex-MP Dennis Mills and Senator Jerry Grafstein -- famous for bringing in the Rolling Stones to headline SARSstock three years ago. The party drew more than 450,000 people to Toronto at a time when the city was reeling from the economic fallout of the respiratory disease.

The trio is hoping to rally residents -- "no politicians, just regular folks" -- at a Blue Jays game in the next couple of weeks and reclaim spaces the alleged terrorists targeted, "where we would make some noise and raise our collective voices." Kinsella says he was inspired by the residents of London who stood up in defiance of the terrorists who bombed their subway system last summer, killing 52 people.

For more info check out I Am Not Afraid.ca and Warren Kinsella's website.

Cam from The Other Sixth Estate has started http://i-am-not-afraid.blogspot.com/

Back to regular posting very soon... hopefully.

- Will

2006-05-15T02:47:00.000-04:00

Hell's Corner and Rings!

By most mechanical and dirty hand:
Rouse up revenge from ebon den with fell
Alecto's snake,
For Doll is in. Pistol speaks nought but truth.

Went to a great show at Second City last week, featuring an acquaintance of mine the one and only Nug. The show, Rings! is the story of three guys trying to adapt The Lord of the Rings into a one hour comedy show. If you enjoy Lord of the Rings in any form or are a geek, I know for a fact you'll love this show. Plus they let you drink during the show! Win-Win!

Here are the details from Nug himself:

That's right, RINGS!: A FELLOWSHIP OF FOOLS has only three shows left.

TONIGHT @ 11 pm
FRIDAY MAY 26 @ 11 PM
MONDAY MAY 29 @ 8 PM

Only three more chance to see the show NOW Magazine called, "a joy to watch"! If you haven't seen it, now's your chance. After these three shows, it goes away forever... unless there's a sequel.

Don't forget, Monday's show features an improv set FOR FREE!!

Second City Toronto
51 Mercer St.
Tix available at the box office
or call 416-343-0011

Check it out if you can, I highly recommend it.

Now for some random stuff...

What If Al Gore Was President of the United States...?

Oh Saturday Night Live, you never cease to be sporadically hilarious. Gone are the days of Murray and Belushi, Sandler and Farley, Piscopo and Murphy, Ferrell and Meadows... Yes SNL's glory days are behind her, but every once and a while they get it right again. They opened last weeks show with an announcement from the President of the United States... Al Gore. Very funny.

Check out the video at Crooks and Liars.

Dancers Doing The Charleston To B-Boy Music

This video shows a pair of extraordinary gifted swing dancers from some black-and-white TV show set to modern hip-hop with a lot of eerily serendipitous synch-ups between the music and the video. The dancing is nothing short of amazing and set to the contemporary music, it's even nicer. (From BoingBoing.net)

I've got some more embedded videos coming your way!

10 Things I Hate About Commandments

An awesome mashup trailer of the Charlton Heston "classic" The Ten Commandments. Essentially making the film look like a stock 1980's Teen Comedy. If only the real film were like this... And not the over-blown, over-rated ridiculous spectacle it is.

Gold.

Who Shot First Bookends

If I were to ever buy a pair of bookends(DVD-ends?) I would most certainly buy these. So nerdy, yet so cool. Pre-order your own Mos Eisley Cantina Bookends here. Oh geekdom, you never cease to amaze me.

Doings a Transpirin'

And I'm spent, just a few things to note blogwise. I've changed the layout of the site slightly... This is a precursor to a total site redesign hopefully by the end of the summer. My site is approaching its third anniversary, and although I didn't celebrate the second, I will most certainly be doing something special in a few months to mark the occasion.

I'm An Internet Meme

In other news I was the victim/benefactor of an internet meme on a site that I am a member of. It got a little out of control, but was all in good fun for the most part.
Check out some of the pictures on My Flickr Page.
Pretty ridiculous.

Arrivederci

- Will

2006-05-11T22:14:00.000-04:00

Poseidon and What Not To Do While Drinking

When daffodils begin to peer,
With heigh! the doxy over the dale,
Why, then comes in the sweet o' the year;
For the red blood reigns in the winter's pale.

REVIEW
Poseidon
6.5/10 STARS

Wow that was a big explosion! Hey what are your names again?

What is it with Wolfgang Petersen and water? The director has given us such ocean-based movies as Das Boot and The Perfect Storm. Now Petersen caps off his soaking-wet trilogy with Poseidon. Poseidon is a big budget remake of the 1972 Irwin Allen disaster flick The Poseidon Adventure. The story is simple. A massive cruise ship capsizes after being hit by a rogue wave and a rag-tag group of survivors must fight to escape from the overturned ship. Like all good disaster movies, Poseidon sticks to the genre conventions - cookie cutter characters, panicky idiots, little or no plot development and as much action as possible. Poseidon certainly doesn't let down in the action department, but it's hard to care about characters you hardly know.

Poseidon will most likely be a breakthrough role for Josh Lucas. Lucas plays a professional gambler traveling on the cruise ship Poseidon, trying to hustle rich people out of their money through high stakes poker. That's all you really know about the character, and then the wave hits. It's not much, but Lucas gives a good performance, the first of many for him, I'm sure. Poseidon is also a second wind of sorts for Kurt Russell and Richard Dreyfuss. Both actors have not starred in Hollywood blockbusters for several decades. They both do well with what they're given. Kurt Russell plays the heroic former firefighter and leader of the survivors. Richard Dreyfuss plays a suicidal man who finds a reason to live in helping the other survivors escape. Again, that is about as much character information as you get from the movie. Lastly, I would be loath to forget the lovely Emmy Rossum, who plays Kurt Russell's daughter in the film. She played Jake Gyllenhaal's love interest in The Day After Tomorrow, so she's no stranger to the disaster movie genre. I'd be lying if I said her cleavage in the film didn't provide a pleasant distraction from all the death and drowning.

The effects and action sequences are top notch. (I would expect no less from a movie budgeted at a rumoured $140 million dollars!) When the rogue wave capsizes the ship, it has to be one of the more impressive effects sequences ever put on film. There is really nothing to complain about in respect to the action - it's the character development that falls flat in Poseidon. If you don't know anything about a character beyond the obvious, you're not likely to care when they meet their untimely demise. Main characters drop like flies in Poseidon, and I found myself unmoved by their always gruesome fates. That being said, you're not going to see Poseidon for deep plot and character development - you're there to see a cruise ship capsize and the survivors deal with the aftermath.

If you enjoyed such original Irwin Allen disaster movies as The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno then you'll love Wolfgang Petersen's Poseidon. If you also enjoy destruction and mayhem on a cruise ship wide scale, you'll like what this movie has to offer. Petersen puts his band of survivors through hell, and it's all for your entertainment. Poseidon is most definitely an entertaining movie. Just don't expect subtle character development and an exacting plot - just a lot of water and explosions.

Moving on....

Original Unmolested Star Wars Trilogy on DVD

Star Wars purists rejoice, the Star Wars you remember from your childhood is coming to DVD. So sayeth Lucasfilm! Free of that revisionist film historian we all know as George Lucas. No more silly dance number in Jabba's palace, the return of the Nub Nub song, and Greedo getting his ass blown away FIRST by Han Solo.

Personally, I don't mind the Special Editions. I would be happy with them if they just fixed the Greedo shooting first bit. I can't have it both ways it seems. It's either the Original or Special Edition... No hybrid edition.

However, maybe some of those hybrid editions will be coming our way according to Wired News' Lore Sjoberg.

From the The Anyone-Shoots-First Edition to The All-Wampa Edition, yes we can only hope that Lucasfilm will release these versions as well.

Wired News Article.

And on the topic of Star Wars

Make sure you see this hilarious parody from the Cartoon Network show Robot Chicken.

Darth Vader phones the Emperor after the rebels destroy the Death Star. Featuring the voice talents of Family Guy creator Seth McFarlane. Genius.

So good.

Mario: Brooklyn Plumber or Marxist Revolutionary?

In an unprecedented investigative report, one man examines the hidden links between everyone's favourite obese, Italian-American plumber with a penchant for magic mushrooms and Marxist-Leninist revolutionaries bent on world domination. An interesting and disturbing read indeed.

To anyone raised in the 80’s, few names have such impact as the Super Mario Brothers do. We played their video games, watched their cartoon show, read their newsletter, bought their merchandise, ate their breakfast cereal, and even watched the piece of shit movie "The Wizard" starring the young, chubby cheeked miscreant Fred Savage because Super Mario Brothers 3 made an appearance.

But aside from the slightly racist stereotyping of Mario and Luigi as food loving, NY fat bodies with ridiculous Italian accents, was there anything really insidious behind the scenes? The staff here at Murderize.com has found something more, something…sinister…lurking behind the mustached countenances of Mario and Luigi. We don't have enough evidence to prove anything, just a sparse trail of bread crumbs to follow. And this trail begins with the game that started it all, Super Mario Bros. Beware brainwashed fools, for this stunning expose will change the way you look at your favorite Nintendo hero forever. No longer the innocent Brooklyn plumbers, it now appears Mario and Luigi are nothing more than communist puppets engineered to program, oh so subtly, Marxist ideals into our impressionable minds!

Read the full article here.

Thanks to Max for the link.

Continuing on the video game theme...

It's That Time of Year Again... E3!!!

Raiden is back... And this time with less lameness!

Yes the Electronic Entertainment Expo is back! Mini-Christmas for gamers as I like to call it. All the hottest new titles and new hardware is unveiled, and gamers drool in collective awe.

I'm most excited about Metal Gear Solid 4 for the Playstation 3. But there are so many amazing games, I just don't have time to list them all.

For all your game trailer needs and latest E3 News check out The E3 Insider and Gamespot.

Go nuts boys and girls, it's Mini-Christmas.

And finally the most ridiculous thing I have read in a long time...

Supermodel Mistakes Bus Exit Door for Bathroom Door

Truly unbelievable...

Leave it to a blonde supermodel to do exactly the kind of stuff you'd expect a blonde supermodel to do. Like mistake the bathroom door for the exit door and step off a moving bus onto a freeway at 40 mph. Russian model Tatyana Simanava did exactly that on Tuesday, and ended up smashing her arm, dislocating a shoulder, and cutting her face and head.

Get the whole story plus hilarious commentary at The Superficial.

Exams are over. Time to drink away my stress!

- Will

2006-05-03T04:19:00.000-04:00

Till That The Weary Very Means Do Ebb

Nor stony tower, nor walls of beaten brass,
Nor airless dungeon, nor strong links of iron,
Can be retentive to the strength of spirit;
But life, being weary of these worldly bars,
Never lacks power to dismiss itself.

I'm in the middle of exams right now, and thanks to my unorthodox sleeping schedule I'm up at quarter to 5 in the morning. So I figured I would use this blog for what I usually use it for : procrastination. It certainly beats reading about Philosophy and History... Well not really... But at this point it most certainly does.

While every other university in the province is finished exams, good old U of Toronto keeps us for as long as possible. I will not be finished until May 8th!!! *Shakes fist* Oh well, one down, two to go. The year went well, and I can't wait to get working this summer.

And now for the usual stuff...

Stephen Colbert At The White House Correspondents' Dinner

If you haven't seen the videos floating around the net of Stephen Colbert's performance at the White House Correspondents' Dinner over the weekend be sure to check them out. Stephen Colbert has balls of steel! His scathing "roast" of George W. Bush that he delivered mere feet away from the man... Looking him in the eyes on several occasions... was truly incredible. The audience at the gala sat in stunned silence and awkward laughter for nearly 30 minutes as Colbert verbally lambasted Bush and pointed out all the administration's failures and shortcomings. The truth certainly hurts, because Dubya looked very pissed.

Watch the video

Hell, I actually kind of felt bad for Bush.

One site even has a brutal frame by frame analysis of Dubya's reaction to Colbert's jabs... Painful to look at...

For all the reaction to the video check out this interesting Washington Post article.

Canadian Music Artists Take A Stand

A group of Canadian music artists have come together to form the Canadian Music Creators Coalition. The group is dedicated to reforming copyright laws, and wrestling control of their music in the face of new technologies for distribution.
It's very cool what they're trying to do.

We are a growing coalition of Canadian music creators who share the common goal of having our voices heard about the laws and policies that affect our livelihoods. We are the people who actually create Canadian music. Without us, there would be no music for copyright laws to protect.

Until now, a group of multinational record labels has done most of the talking about what Canadian artists need out of copyright. Record companies and music publishers are not our enemies, but let's be clear: lobbyists for major labels are looking out for their shareholders, and seldom speak for Canadian artists. Legislative proposals that would facilitate lawsuits against our fans or increase the labels control over the enjoyment of music are made not in our names, but on behalf of the labels' foreign parent companies.

See the CMCC's entire mission statement here.

And on the subject of music...

Video Games Live : Metal Gear in Concert

Tommy Tallarico, host of Electric Playground and noted video game sound and music designer has put together a series of concerts that showcase the very best of video game music. Video Games Live is a pretty cool idea, and the concerts seem right up your alley if you enjoy music from games.

What is Video Games Live?

An immersive concert event featuring music from the world's most popular video games performed by a live orchestra and choir combined with synchronized lighting, video, performers, and more!

Video Games Live will feature the best music and video clips from the most popular games from the beginning of video gaming to the present. Games include:

Mario, Zelda, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Warcraft, Myst, Final Fantasy, God of War, Kingdom Hearts, Castlevania, Medal of Honor, Sonic, Tron, Tomb Raider, Advent Rising, Headhunter, Beyond Good & Evil, Splinter Cell, Ghost Recon, Rainbow Six, EverQuest II and a special retro Classic Arcade Medley featuring over 20+ games from Pong to Donkey Kong including such classics as Dragon's Lair, Tetris, Frogger, Gauntlet, Space Invaders & Outrun!

Here's a sample of Video Games Live, performing a medley from the Metal Gear Solid series of games. Very cool.

Metal Gear Solid in Concert!

Thanks to Amer for the MGS link.

And now we segue from music to games... See how I did that?

Hilarious Kung Fu Game

To promote the release of the new Family Guy and American Dad DVD's, FOX has created this surprisingly fun Flash fighting game. If you enjoy either show, you'll get definitely get a kick out of it. If you don't like either show... it probably won't float your boat. Don't say I didn't warn you.

American Dad versus Family Guy : Kung Fu

Thanks to Christie for the link.

'Cool' HTML Game

An intrepid website creator has created a game called The Wicked, it's an HTML based detective game. Clues are hidden in the code, and elsewhere... Very cool... or at least as cool as an HTML Detective game can be. Entertaining none the less.

Check out The Wicked HTML Game

Thanks to Johnny for the link.

And now a few new trailers to close it out.

Superman Returns Trailer

The full length trailer for this summers Superman Returns came out yesterday. The Bryan Singer directed movie cost a reported $180 million dollars to make. Hopefully, it will do well and recoup that cost... which I'm sure it will. I'm just eager to see Kevin Spacey ham it up as Lex Luthor. Also the action should be spectacular thanks to the leaps made in special effects since the original movies. Plus Marlon Brando will be back as Jor El... Can't go wrong with Brando!

Go check it out. Superman Returns Trailer

Casino Royale Teaser

Casino Royale is the much anticipated new James Bond film, featuring new Bond, Daniel Craig. I must say the teaser impressed me. They seem to be going for the more hard edged, more realistic Bond from the original Ian Fleming novels. Three cheers for an unrequited bad ass James Bond!

See it here.

Now it's time for a little something I like to call sleep.

- Will

2006-04-13T22:39:00.000-04:00

Even in the Cannon's Mouth...

There is, sure, another flood toward, and these
couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of
very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools.

Star Trek First Contact : Re-Enactment

The line must be drawn HEERE!

Good old YouTube.com. It gives people the opportunity to post anything they want. Some people use this for good, others for things that aren't so good. This is one of the good things. This one dude, Brandon Hardesty, re-enacts famous movie scenes and posts the results on YouTube.

The guy is a pretty good actor, and the scenes are dead on! My favourites being of course his re-enactment from Star Trek : First Contact and the Christopher Walken Scene from Pulp Fiction. Hilarious stuff. His Christopher Walken impression is awesome.

Check out the rest of his movie re-enactments here.

And now for one useful and one useless Top 10 List!

Top 10 Creatively Decorated Nerdy Cakes

Nothing says Happy Birthday to the nerd in your life quite like a nerdy cake. From the pictured Playstation 2 cake, to Lord of the Rings and Star Wars themed cakes, you'll find the the creme-de-la-creme of geeky cakes in this Top 10 List.

Top 10 Windows XP Tips Of All Time

The good folks at Yahoo News have created a list of 10 incredibly useful tips for getting the most out of Microsoft's notorious Windows XP. As an XP user myself, I tried a few of these tips and found them quite effective at improving system performance, startup time, and freeing up disk space. I highly recommend you try some of these if you use Windows XP. Now it's time for me to get sued for having an unauthorized copyrighted Microsoft image on my site. Check out the tips here.

Shakespearean Insulter

Nobody writes a particularly biting insult quite like The Bard. William Shakespeare had a way with words, and a talent for writing especially witty insults. Well it seems that someone has taken the best of The Bard's insults, and inputted them into an Insult Generator of sorts. Now you too can insult your friends in true Elizabethan fashion!

You are a shallow cowardly hind, and you lie!

OH, BURN!

Insult away, here.

Fuckin' Taxes!

Tax time is here! This year I'm filing my taxes out for the first time. Of course being technologically inclined I wanted to file them online. The university offers free access to Ufile.ca for all its students. Which is quite convenient and easy to use. However, when I went to submit the taxes to Revenue Canada's online Netfile service, I was told that I could not file via the internet. The reason? Because it was my first time filing my taxes. Revenue Canada wants people to do it the old fashioned way; by mail, for their first time filing.

Now I'm not a fancy lawyer type... *Grabs Non-existent Suspenders* ... But it seems to me that the government should let young people doing their taxes for the first time submit online. Personally, I found the fact that you could file taxes online very appealing. I, being a technologically inclined youth like many of my peers, would be more inclined to file my taxes online as a matter of convenience. I just wish both options were available to me. Should I call my member of Parliament about this? Maybe I should, so my brother or someone else I know doesn't have to go through the same hassle.

Not that I should be complaining, it turns out I get a $250 tax rebate. I'll take it!

And now for an exercise in cliche...

Night Rider

Bloor and Spadina. A cool spring morning previews the beautiful day that is to come. The Blue Night Special barrels down the street towards me. The bus can't pull-over thanks to a careless cabbie parked right in front of me.

I hop on the bus, but there are no seats to be found. It's been a long night, a fact echoed by the morning commuters filling my potential seats. Blue collar people on the Blue Night Special. I'm a slightly buzzed and tired student, going home to bed. These people are just starting their work day.

The Blue Night Special...
It's clearly morning.
The bus lied.

Bay. Bloor. Sherbourne. Castle Frank.

A man with a leather jacket gets on the bus, a mail carrier gets off. I found a seat. I should be lying down not sitting... Beats standing.

The man with the leather jacket is standing next to me now. He isn't wearing pants. A full length denim skirt is where his pants should be. I've never seen a man in a denim skirt. Freaks. They only come out at night... But wait, it's morning.

Broadview. Chester. Pape. Donlands.

A Muslim gets off the bus. Off to morning prayer at the local mosque. I liked his headcap. He was wearing a long shirt that went past his knees. He pulled it off. The man with a leather jacket and jean skirt could learn a thing or two from this gentleman.

Greenwood. Coxwell. Woodbine. Main.

"Thank you sir.", I mutter to the driver as I leave the bus.

Home stretch. Just a few blocks left to walk.

The cool morning breeze keeps me from falling asleep as I walk. Train tracks, no trains. Just a bridge to go over them. Rising dawn to my left, still dark downtown to my right. A perfect half-moon hangs over the rooftops to the south, shrouded by a morning mist.

Top of the bridge, all downhill from here.
The birds are singing. I remember birds, been a while boys and girls, welcome back.

Last scene of all that ends this strange, uneventful journey is just one of those moments.
Everything is quiet.
Everything is calm.
Everything is alright...

Never better.

And that is all she wrote... Or in my case he.

Now it's back to studying for exams. Good night, and good luck.

And remember May 5th is No Pants Day.

cheers,

- Will

2006-02-21T23:09:00.000-05:00

Won't You Send Me A Nursery Rhyme?

You sign your place and calling, in full seeming,
With meekness and humility; but your heart
Is cramm'd with arrogancy, spleen, and pride.

And so it is Reading Week. A time when University students all over Canada should be reading and studying, but are more likely drinking to excess in tropical places. I'm not in a tropical paradise like many people I know, but I have been drinking to excess... Though not as often as I would have liked to.

Probably not the greatest mind set to have. But I'm 22, I enjoy beer and good times. That's the long and the short of it. If its consolation to anyone concerned about my social alcoholism, I have an extremely high tolerance for alcohol and I rarely drink enough to make myself stupefyingly drunk. So the moral of this story is...Drink To Responsible Excess.

Responsibility: It's why I'm blogging right now and not out drinking.

Oh well, I still have the rest of the week to catch up. As for "Reading" I'm ahead of the game, so there should be no need to do any real work(aside from finding a job) this week.
C'est la vie.

And now what you came here to read: GEEKY DIATRIBE!

Star Wars Episode III Snubbed By Oscars

Being snubbed makes Yoda pissed.

Anyone who knows me, or reads this blog knows I am a Star Wars fan. That is why I was very sad to see that the final Star Wars movie ever, Revenge of the Sith was not nominated in the Best Visual Effects category for the upcoming Academy Awards. The nominees for the Oscar were The Chronicles of Narnia, War of the Worlds and King Kong. All of these movies are worthy of a Best Visual Effects nomination, but surely ANYONE who has seen Episode III can agree that many of the effects in it were on par or better than the nominated films.

As an internet acquaintance of mine has pointed out, all bets should be on King Kong to win the award. Partly due to how damn good King Kong looked, and also because Peter Jackson is doing a tribute to Willis O'Brien. O'Brien was a special effects pioneer who specialized in stop-motion animation AND you guessed it; animated the original King Kong. We should be honest though, Kong himself did look great, but many of the other effects in the film were just OKAY. As for Star Wars, the effects were solid throughout, and the film featured more than one photo-realistic CGI character. Can King Kong claim as much?

Ironically, O'Brien's protege Ray Harryhausen in turn had his own protege by the name of Phil Tippett. Tippett would become a Visual Effects Supervisor at Industrial Light and Magic(The effects studio owned by George Lucas) and work on both The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi. Everyone in the VFX industry seems to be connected somehow. If you want to see visual effects at their best just check out any movies O'Brien, Harryhausen or Tippett worked on. (Note: Blogger is god damn retarded and won't let me put the e with accents on them for the word protege. Won't somebody please think of the French around here?!)

But I digress. For whatever reason Star Wars was snubbed for an Oscar nomination. Whether it was political, or just the Academy voters being dicks is unclear. What is clear is that something is definitely up, as the following article informs us.

Sci-Tech guests address the "Star Wars" snub

This year's Oscar nominations may have been short on surprises, but they did include one real shocker in the category of visual effects. Going in, the sentimental favorite (not necessarily to win, but certainly to get a nomination) had to be George Lucas' "Star Wars: Episode III - The Revenge of the Sith," the final installment in the series that revolutionized the look of visual effects.

But when the branch members voted after their Jan. 25 "bake-off," the nominees were "King Kong," "The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe" and "The War of the Worlds." The sentimental favorite had been unsentimentally dismissed.

Even Richard Edlund, a longtime visual effects governor and the moderator of the bake-off, admitted during last week's nominees luncheon that he was stunned by the snub. "I thought it was a sure nominee," he said.

Read the full article here to find out what could have happened.
Thanks to MrNeutron for the link and enlightening look into the Visual Effects industry.

And now for some fun links.

Classic Video Games Reenacted In Lego

I FEEL ASLEEP.

If you're like me you played with LEGO when you were a kid. You also played on your amazing Nintendo Entertainment System. If you didn't, well you're not like me... And I don't like your kind. The point is LEGO kicks ass, and so does Nintendo.

A few good gents over at The New Gamer have brought together my two favourite childhood pastimes. Classic games brought to life through the magic of small plastic building blocks. Represented are classics like Metal Gear, Bionic Commando, Duck Hunt and ExciteBike... Hell they even threw in Katamari Damacy. It's a PS2 game, but still just as cool in LEGO form. Go take a gander. LEGO and NINTENDO UNITE!

STREETWARS

Think you've got what it takes to be an assassin?

StreetWars is a 3 week long, 24/7, watergun assassination tournament that has already taken place in New York City, Vancouver, Vienna, San Francisco and is now coming to Los Angeles.

At the start of the game you will receive a manila envelope containing the following:

* A picture of your intended target(s)
* The home address of your intended target(s)
* The work address of your intended target(s)
* The name of your intended target(s)
* Contact information of your intended target(s)

Upon receipt of these items, your (or your team's) mission is to find and kill (by way of water gun, water balloon or super soaker) your target(s).

You can hunt your target down any way you see fit; you can pose as a delivery person and jack them when they open the door, disguise yourself and take them out on the street, etc.

If you are successful in your assassination attempt, the person you killed will give you their envelope and the person they were supposed to kill becomes your new target. This continues until you work yourself through all the players and retrieve the envelope with your (or your team's) picture(s) and name(s). Then you win. Cash; but first live in fear.

Let me be the first to say that if they bring this to Toronto I will win. This type of thing is right up my alley, so watch out potential Toronto StreetWars competitors. I'm ready to bring the pain(of a watergun), are you?!
Learn more at the official StreetWars Website

Huge Cave Discovered in South America

There's something terribly Georgia O'Keefe about this picture.

A cave so huge helicopters can fly into it has just been discovered deep in the hills of a South American jungle paradise.

Actually, "Cueva del Fantasma" ; Spanish for "Cave of the Ghost" ;is so vast that two helicopters can comfortably fly into it and land next to a towering waterfall.

It was found in the slopes of Aprada tepui in southern Venezuela, one of the most inaccessible and unexplored regions of the world. The area, known as the Venezuelan Guayana, is one of the most biologically rich, geologically ancient and unspoiled parts of the world.

This is the first geographic report and photographic evidence of such an immense cave. However, researchers say, it isn't really a cave, but a huge, collapsed, steep gorge.

Apparently they also discovered a new species of frog in the cave. Win-Win!
Full article over at LiveScience.com

Chocolate Russian Roulette

Willy Wonka meets the Deer Hunter!

A British company have come up with the whacky idea of combining delicious chocolate with terrible fear. Chocolate Russian Roulette.

Seated in individual compartments, twelve chocolate bullets lay waiting to be bitten into. Although eleven of the sweet little slugs contain delicious praline centres, one conceals a seriously red hot chilli that's guaranteed to blow your head off - metaphorically, at least.

Check it out AND Buy it at Firebox.com.

And last but not least, an interesting newspaper article. Clearly I'm onto something...

Better Living Through Video Games?

Playstation: A Recipe for Success.

Before you assume gadgets and video games fry the minds of the future, consider this: Canadian researchers are finding evidence that the high-speed, multitasking of the young and wireless can help protect their brains from aging.

A body of research suggests that playing video games provides benefits similar to bilingualism in exercising the mind. Just as people fluent in two languages learn to suppress one language while speaking the other, so too are gamers adept at shutting out distractions to swiftly switch attention between different tasks.

A new study of 100 university undergraduates in Toronto has found that video gamers consistently outperform their non-playing peers in a series of tricky mental tests. If they also happened to be bilingual, they were unbeatable.

Full article at The Globe and Mail. Better get out and buy those Xbox 360's.

The fat lady has sung.

- Will

2006-02-09T19:41:00.000-05:00

Clamorous Harbingers of Health and Life

So, to your pleasures:
I am for other than for dancing measures.

The Cop Out

I know I promised a hilarious look at Total Recall for this entry, but it will have to wait in order for me to do Total justice to the movie. I'm hoping to make it some kind of collaborative effort between Lucas and myself, seeing how he is an even bigger fan of the Schwarzenegger/Verhoeven classic. We'll see what happens.

I also said I would go down to Edge 102 and protest the Nickelback song... But I was taken ill last week and could not attend my own protest. However, I shall do it soon... I hope.

Unplanned Freefall? Some Survival Tips

Writer David Carkeet presents this hilariously morbid article about how to survive an unplanned freefall. It's not like nobody has ever survived a fall from 30,000 feet, several people have... So don't give up! You too can survive a fall that high!

Admit it: You want to be the sole survivor of an airline disaster. You aren't looking for a disaster to happen, but if it does, you see yourself coming through it. I'm here to tell you that you're not out of touch with reality; you can do it. Sure, you'll take a few hits, and I'm not saying there won't be some sweaty flashbacks later on, but you'll make it. You'll sit up in your hospital bed and meet the press. Refreshingly, you will keep God out of your public comments, knowing that it's unfair to sing His praises when all of your dead fellow-passengers have no platform from which to offer an alternative view.
Let's say your jet blows apart at 35,000 feet. You exit the aircraft, and you begin to descend independently. Now what?
First of all, you're starting off a full mile higher than Everest, so after a few gulps of disappointing air you're going to black out. This is not a bad thing. If you have ever tried to keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, you know what I mean. This brief respite from the ambient fear and chaos will come to an end when you wake up at about 15,000 feet. Here begins the final phase of your descent, which will last about a minute. It is a time of planning and preparation. Look around you. What equipment is available? None? Are you sure? Look carefully. Perhaps a shipment of folded parachutes was in the cargo hold, and the blast opened the box and scattered them. One of these just might be within reach. Grab it, put it on, and hit the silk. You're sitting pretty.

Read the entire article here.

Half-Life 2 : Rube Goldberg Machine

One of the cooler mods for the game Half-Life 2 is something called Garry's Mod. Essentially it gives the player free reign to play with the physics and objects in HL2. My favourite wacky contraption that I built using Garry's mod was a rocket powered door, which I tied several poor bastards to. However, what I made pales in comparison to the time and effort it must have taken for this person to make a Rube Goldberg Device using the mod. Words won't do it justice... so just take a look.

HL2 : Rube Goldberg Device

Thanks to Amer for the link.

QUEEN STREET MAN!

If you live in Toronto you've probably taken a walk along Queen Street West. Full of eclectic shops, out-there establishments and trendy bars. Like me, you've probably seen the various hipster types who call the street home. By hipsters I mean people who listen to indie-rock, buy their clothes at thrift stores, carry man purses and cover their jackets/bags with pins spouting various slogans. I have nothing against hipsters, I have many friends who fall into this hipster category... In fact I think my brother is a hipster. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

The hilarious short film "Queen Street Man" shows us exactly what the Queen Street Hipster life style entails, so all you poser hipsters out there, pay attention!

Thanks to lcbo for sending this vid along.

Lego Difference Engine

Charles Babbage invented what was for all intents and purposes the first computer, The Difference Engine, in the mid-nineteenth century no less. Now some intrepid lad with a love for Lego has recreated Babbage's Engine entirely out of the aforementioned toy bricks. The Difference Engine is a complex piece of machinery to build out of conventional parts, but to build it out of toy parts is just incredible.

Take a gander at the whole project here.

And to finish off a few quick links.

Video Game Commercials

A collection of over 3500 classic and contemporary Video Game commercials from around the world. Awesome stuff. 3500 Video Game Advertisements.

Chewbacca is Internet Savvy

Everyone's favourite walking carpet has hit the net with his very own blog! And apparently he really has it in for pro-wrestler 'Macho Man' Randy Savage. Amazing.

Chewie's Blog : http://rrrrrrrrrrrrrnnnnnnnnnnhhhh.blogspot.com/

That's my time, thanks.

- Will

2006-01-31T14:56:00.000-05:00

Boycott Nickelback and The Way To Parish Church

O sleep, O gentle sleep,
Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my senses in forgetfulness?

It's 7:45 am. I'm nestled comfortably in the warmth that is my bed after a good nights sleep. On comes my clock radio, Dean Blundell and his morning crew are laughing about something, and I have yet wake up completely.

"This is Nickelback, Photograph on 102.1 The Edge.", announces Dean... My own private hell begins.

I dive out from under the covers to slam the clock radio off, but not before Chad Kroeger is able to ask me to "Look at this photograph!" I shudder with rage and start my day.

I love Edge 102. As radio stations go it's probably my favourite (Sorry Classical 96.) However, for most of the school year I have woken up to that god damned Nickelback song 9 times out of 10. I don't want to look at that photograph, I don't want to hear Chad Kroeger and company moan their way through yet another boring Ass Rock song. No matter what time I set my alarm for it seems this song is destined to haunt my waking hours.

I submit this link as an example of the suckiness that is Nickelback. Two songs on one album, that when played on top of one another sound identical.

This Thursday or Friday morning I am going down to Edge 102 with a sign and I'm going to protest the playing of this song. The sign will hopefully look like this:

STOP CHAD KROEGER AND NICKELBACK!

BOYCOTT NICKELBACK.
DOWN WITH ASS ROCK!
SUPPORT GOOD CANADIAN MUSIC!

Now I don't know what this will achieve, probably little. But I would rather wake up to quality Canadian artists like Broken Social Scene, K-OS, The Arcade Fire, Death From Above 1979 or Sloan any day of the week. Is that so much to ask?

I know I am not alone in this.
If you feel the same way about Nickelback please support me in my cause.

But onto other business...

Revenge of the Sith Ain't Bad

Journalist/Filmmaker Matt Zoller Seitz outlines the reasons why Star Wars Episode III : Revenge of the Sith is better than people give it credit for and doesn't get its due.

I was heartened to learn that About.com movie critic Jurgen Fauth put "Revenge of the Sith" on his Top 10 list, in the number one spot, no less. He even encouraged people to revisit his original review -- the most thoughtful, non-condescending piece of writing done on this movie by any critic anywhere. What stones. In the increasingly hermetic world of American film criticism, there are certain things we all know for sure, and one of them is that saying George Lucas' movies have heft is a surefire way to get your Cool Film Critic credentials revoked. Fauth had better go down into a bunker and not come out until at least March. (The movie made my own Top 20; it probably would have made the Top 10 if Lucas had given Padme something to do, and if I'd been able to defend the dialogue some other way besides saying, "If it was in Japanese with English subtitles, you wouldn't be making fun of it.")

The man raises some very good points.
Read the entire article at The House Next Door.

Need An Excuse To Get Drunk Tonight?

For my American friends. As if the actual State of the Union isn't reason enough to start drinking, you now have a fun excuse! Tonight, as President George W. Bush gives his State of the Union Address you and all your friends can play a drinking game!

Every time the President says "Iraq" or "Iran" you take a shot. Every time he says "Nuclear" or some crazy variation of it : take a shot! And so on and so forth.

So drink up! It's going to be a long night. Who cares about work or school tomorrow, there's nothing better than a hangover on somebody else's time!

State of the Union Drinking Game!

Law and Order : Special Valentine Unit

Looking for a Valentine's Day card with that little extra something?
Well look no further. Brandonbird.com has all your Law and Order : SVU Valentine's day card related items covered!

Any Valentine's Day card with Richard "The Belz" Belzer on it is okay in my books.

More Special Valentine Unit cards here.

Best.Animated.GIF.EVER!!!

Do you like the idea of Captain Picard shooting someone with a Tommy Gun?
Do you like the idea of that something being everyone's favourite fat kid: Chunk from The Goonies?
Do you like the idea of Chunk from The Goonies being bullet-proof?

Well wait no longer, because those ideas are now a reality!

I just like the idea that somebody thought this up, and then spent hours making it.

Stay tuned for my next post when I discuss how great the Schwarzenegger classic Total Recall is.

"See you at the party Richter!"

- Will

2006-01-29T18:12:00.000-05:00

Election Roundup and Other Trite Nonsense

Be not afraid of greatness.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness,
and some have greatness thrust upon 'em.

It is interesting how Google search results can vary from country to country. Although Google claims not to censor their queries in most of the Western World, the same cannot be said for some other countries.

Take China for example. If you do a Google Image search for "tiananmen" on Google.com you get this. Exactly what you would expect from such a query, pictures of the 1989 student massacre in Tiananmen Square in Beijing.

Take the same query and enter it into the Google.cn Image Search and you'll find what you get is a little different. You get beautiful pictures of the Square, with happy, peaceful people. This is Chinese censorship, on Google... Pretty shitty of them wouldn't you say?

Sorry for the serious tone... Since I'll be boring you later with a political analysis time for something more entertaining. Why be serious when you can be laughing about something?

Kevin Federline Is A Tool.

The smartest thing this man has done and will ever do was to knock up Britney Spears. It seems to have been all down hill from there for Mr. Britney Spears. Kevin Federline has it in his head that he is some kind of talented recording artist and recently released his first Hip Hop single "PopoZao", which is Portuguese for "Back that sweet ass up here" or something to that effect. And here is Mr. Federline unveiling his new single to the world and jamming to it.

Now I hate to apply such a wise and worldly quote to a person such as Kevin Federline... But the old adage goes "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

We all thought you were a fool K-Fed... But now that you're shouting it from the rooftops we don't have to think it anymore; we know.

And what would a pop-culture phenomenon such as K-Fed be without the 2 cents of Conan O'brien. Here the host of Inside the Actor's Studio, James Lipton gives us his own version of "Popozao".

Conan rocks.

Stop This Politically Correct Bullshit!

British school bans raising hands

From UPI.

A school in London has banned children from raising their hands in class and teachers from calling on students with their hands raised.

"It is every child's instinct and every teacher's instinct as well because it is ingrained in us," said Andrew Buck, the school's principal.

"Some pupils are jiggling so much to attract the teacher's attention that it sometimes looks as if they need the lavatory, then when it is their turn they often don't know the answer. Boys -- and it is usually boys -- are seeking attention, so they put their hands up before they have had time to think about the question."

Buck said the same children often wave their arms in the air, but when teachers try to involve less adventurous pupils by choosing them instead, it leads to feelings of victimization, the Daily Telegraph reported Saturday.

To spare embarrassment of the students who do not know the answer, the school has incorporated a "phone a friend" system, allowing one child to nominate another to take the question instead.

What the hell is happening to the United Kingdom? First, failure became "Deferred Success" and now this. Let the kid get the answer wrong and correct them...

It's called LEARNING! NOT PAWNING THE QUESTION OFF ON OTHER STUDENTS! STUPID!!!
It truly confounds me.

Is Jack Layton the Video Professor?

Buy My Product.

At some point during the Canadian election campaign it struck me that Jack Layton looked very familiar. I had seen the New Democrat leader somewhere before... In a role that didn't involve some form of government. Then last week I saw it; and it clicked.

As I scanned the channels late one night I came across one of those charming Video Professor infomercials. I was amazed... John W. Scherer: the said Video Professor bares a striking resemblance to Jack Layton.

I am now convinced the two are in fact one and the same -- Pushing the social democratic agenda while hawking their shoddy wares. If this isn't a wake up call, I don't know what is.

But enough trite nonsense.

The election took place 1 week ago, on January 23rd. The Conservative Party won themselves a minority government. Although, the Prime Minister-Designate and myself disagree in terms of several social policies -- I wholeheartedly support the Tory platform that deals with fiscal, judicial and government reform. I hope they will be able to pursue these goals in the upcoming parliament.

Prime Minister-Designate Stephen Harper.

In theory, this minority government has the potential to be quite effective. None of the opposition parties want to call another election any time soon. The Liberals need a new leader with the impending resignation of Prime Minister Paul Martin, the NDP don't want to lose what ground they have made, and the Bloc doesn't want to lose any more support to the Grits or Tories in Quebec. That leaves a very big window, in which HOPEFULLY, the parties will be able to build consensus, since no one party holds the true majority of the power in parliament. They will have to work together, and everyone will be in check... So people can stop worry about the Tories destroying the country that they themselves founded.

Prime Minister Paul Martin is left scratching his head.

The government accountability measures, the GST reduction and the mandatory minimum sentences for gun-related crimes are all issues the other parties will go along with, or else they'll be shooting themselves in the foot. The Conservatives ran a great campaign, but now comes the hard part! I'm looking forward to seeing the Tories once again prove themselves able to lead Canada.

And that is that, I will try to update more regularly from now on.

Popozao!

Kung Hei Fat Choy!

- Will

2005-12-27T03:38:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan, and/or Festivus!

Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

Phew... Exams are over, thank goodness. Christmas break is upon us, and it is a good thing. Aside from having a cold, which I seem to get every year around this time, I have no complaints. I got a good haul of gifts for Christmas, and I gave a lot of gifts that were well received... Except for the book I got my Dad which he had already read. DOH! And the food hasn't been too bad either. Christmas dinner at the grandparents condo was awesome!

I like having time off from school. Weekday morning television; a phenomenon which I have been unaware of for the past several years, because I've either been at school or been soundly asleep, is pretty entertaining. The other day I watched 2 episodes of Maury Povich in a row! Jealous?!

On the topic of Maury Povich, it seems that he only has one topic for his show these days: Paternity Tests!

"My next guest has been on the show 9 times, and tested 20 different men, none of whom turned out to be the father."

Of course the poor woman comes on the show to test yet another man and the answer is always the same
"*INSERT NAME HERE*, You are NOT the father!"

Truly, very sad. But it's not like some of these women didn't have it coming. If you were so promiscuous that out of the 20 men you think you slept with in a few week period, none of them turn out to be the father... You really shouldn't have kids.

On the subject of illegitimate children and Christmas, I-Mockery.com presents :
More Than You Ever Wanted To Know About The Atrocity That Was THE STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL!

Chewbacca's horrifying father Lumpy.

Han Solo looks like he desperately wants to be elsewhere, Luke Skywalker looks like a teenage girl and Princess Leia sings at the end of the much maligned (and with good reason) holiday special. The first 15 minutes feature nothing but dialogue in Wookie between members of Chewbacca's family, and to make matters worse Bea Arthur shows up! BEA ARTHUR! Even the first appearance of everybody's favourite bounty hunter Boba Fett couldn't save this train wreck. I would say it's almost worth it just to say you've seen it... But there are some things you just can't UN-SEE! Read the article at I-Mockery and thank Buddha you don't have to watch it. Check it out here.

Back and to the right...

And on the subject of Star Wars... Someone put far too much time, thought and effort into this Greedo Assassination Theory website. Did Greedo shoot first or was Han just that damn good?

New Favourite Movie

The Third Man is an amazing 1949 film. Directed by Carol Reed and starring Orson Welles, the movie is a classic example of Film Noir. Set in post-war Vienna, the film finds American pulp writer Holly Martins(Joseph Cotten) fresh off the train looking for his friend Harry Lime, who has offered him a job. Martins soon discovers that his friend was recently killed in a mysterious car accident, and sets out to discover what really happened to his friend. In the end Martins discovers more than he ever wanted or should have known.

The Third Man is really just a top notch film, I can't recommend it enough.

I also decided to have a little fun in photoshop after watching this movie.

Photoshop Skills + Film Geekness + Borderline Narcissism = This picture.

Hey, you can't blame a guy for wishing he was in a classic film noir movie.
Photoshop is a hell of a tool, but I'm still no Orson Welles.

Stalin's Half-man, Half-ape Super-warriors

GIVE ME SUPER MONKEYS!

Soviet dictator Josef Stalin ordered the creation of Planet of the Apes-style warriors by crossing humans with apes, according to recently uncovered secret documents.

Moscow archives show that in the mid-1920s Russia's top animal breeding scientist, Ilya Ivanov, was ordered to turn his skills from horse and animal work to the quest for a super-warrior.

I'm really not surprised about anything concerning the former USSR that I hear coming out of Russia these days... Oh those crazy Commies, gotta love 'em.
Read the full article here.

Now I want a half-man, half-ape super warrior! Stupid ethics.

Crazy cool music video.

The artist, Jason Forrest has a very unique sound. Don't really know what genre it would be considered. I've never heard this guy before, but the music video is very cool. Basically, it's a bunch of animated Vikings having a musical battle with Furry Monster types involving ships and giant robots. Words really cannot do it justice, so check it out the video for War Photographer.

The Ultimate Showdown

This is an incredible flash movie detailing a battle of epic proportions. Pitting Optimus Prime, Batman, Godzilla, The Power Rangers, Darth Vader, Gandalf, Captain Kirk, Mister Rogers, Chuck Norris and many, many more against one another in a battle for ultimate power. Awesome!

Check out The Ultimate Showdown!

Good tidings to you and your kin.

- Will

2005-12-15T01:06:00.000-05:00

A Tear For Spock and Kong

Oft have I heard that grief softens the mind,
And makes it fearful and degenerate;
Think therefore on revenge and cease to weep.

I just got back from seeing Peter Jackson's King Kong. I still haven't seen the original, but I was damn impressed by the movie. It was so well put together... acting, directing, writing, CGI - All great. I loved it, but it's a very sad movie. I will admit I shed a few tears at the end. A rarity for me, not since Spock's death in The Wrath of Khan has that happened. I highly recommend King Kong--It is what great film making is all about. Nicely done Peter Jackson.

Top Ten Most Memorable Moments in Comic Book Villainy.

"This is even more painful than it looks!"

To cap off IGN's Villain Month they have compiled a list of the most deliciously evil events in comic book history. From Bane breaking Batman's back, to Magneto ripping the adamantium out of Wolverine they've covered all the major evil acts. But where is Aquaman's entry? Surely introducing that character in the first place should count as the single most evil act in the history of comics. God damn Aquaman!
Worst. Superhero. Ever. Check out the full list here.

What the hell does IGN stand for anyways?

And from the "Not Meant For Mortal Eyes" files comes this image.

I don't know what the hell is going on in this picture, but it is most definitely wrong on many levels. I'm pretty sure Goldie Hawn is melting. Meg Ryan is also looking more plastic by the day. Here we have a lesson in Hollywood attitudes. Goldie Hawn chose to age gracefully, and ended up looking like the Gestapo guy melting at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Meg Ryan on the other hand is going the Joan Rivers route, soon the unrecognizable piece of flesh, bone and muscle she calls a face will be yelling at celebrities on the red carpet. Watch out Joan!

Daniel Radcliffe is SO busted!

For the love of god Daniel she's only 15!

Though I suppose he's about 15 years old as well, so it's not odd behaviour. However, young Mr. Potter is going to have take his attention away from Hermoine's chest long enough to learn a few things.
When it comes to cleavage, Jerry Seinfeld said it best,
"Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun -- ya don't stare at it!"
Oh those hormone fueled teenagers, when will they learn?

Pachelbel's Canon in ROCK!

Everyone loves a long over-blown guitar solo. Jimmy Page in Stairway to Heaven. Eric Clapton in Crossroads. Jimi Hendrix! However, these gentlemen only covered rock and roll tunes, they steered clear of classical.

Jerry L is different.

He rocks out to Johann Pachelbel's 17th century classic Canon in D. If you know the tune you're in for a treat, and if you don't you'll probably recognize it anyways.

Take it away JerryL! Canon Rock.

Finally for all you social alcoholic Family Guy fans out there here's a fun little drinking game you can play this Holiday Season!
Family Guy Drinking Game.

So from me and The Juice have a safe and Happy Holiday Season!

At least he's not holding a giant carving knife.

May your pint glass overflow with beer.

- Will

2005-12-12T21:11:00.000-05:00

Dear Matthew Good...

Newsflash: WEBSITES LOOK THE SAME!

In response to your recent post Coincidence? in which you claim the Consevative Party website design was lifted from the US Republican Party's website, I give you this image.

While they're not exact, they are eerily similar. Take a look...

Most political party websites do look similar... In fact the Liberal Party of Canada and the US Democratic Party websites almost look the same. However, a passing similarity does not mean that they're in cahoots. This isn't some New World Order right wing conspiracy Matt! Calm down!

You're a much better musician than you are a political pundit. Stick to what you know Matt!

You're last album was awesome by the way.

Sincerely,

Will Perkins

P.S. The chief export of Chuck Norris... is pain.

2005-12-11T15:44:00.000-05:00

Reginald VelJohnson is Gay?!

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.

Every generation has movies which they consider their own. As a child of the 1980's there are a select few films that defined my childhood. Ghostbusters, Transformers : The Movie, Labyrinth, Star Wars, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Goonies, The Neverending Story, etc. One of these definitive 80's films was probably the most influential movie for future gamers: The Wizard.

For those of you unfamiliar with The Wizard you don't know what you're missing! It is widely considered to be nothing more than a 90 minute commercial for Nintendo... However would Fred "Wonder Years/The Mole" Savage star in a commercial?! NEVER!

Basically, Fred Savage and his disabled, video game savant brother and some girl run away from home to compete in the Video Game World Championship. Only the evil Lucas Bartow with his amazing POWERGLOVE stand in their way! Let me tell you folks... NOT IF FRED SAVAGE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!

Check out this ridiculous clip in which Lucas Bartow demonstrates his POWERGLOVE skills.

And from the "You Can't Make This Shit Up Files" come these pictures and story.

JIM CARREY RUN OVER BY STEPHEN HAWKING

From ContactMusic:

Actor Jim Carrey was left howling in agony after genius Stephen Hawking reversed over his foot with his wheelchair.

The unlikely pair made friends when they appeared together on an American talk show, and Carrey visited Hawking in Cambridge, Britain, recently. The highly-paid star joined the physics prodigy and some friends and colleagues for a stimulating dinner.

Later that evening, as they chatted on the patio, Hawking, 61 - who suffers from motor neuron disease - ran over Carrey's foot.

The professor's secretary Karen Sime says, "We've all had our feet run over by the professor. You quickly learn to jump out the way!"

I can honestly say I never thought I would write a sentence involving Jim Carrey and Stephen Hawking. You live and learn.

Mysteries under Moscow.

I watched a very interesting Russian documentary this afternoon about the mysterious underground of Moscow. A labyrinthine collection of tunnels, sub-basements, bunkers and sewers that a team of Muscovites recently started exploring and mapping. Home to hobos, criminals, dissidents and impoverished people the Moscow underground has an incredible history to tell about a very historic city.

What is hidden under Moscow?

This question has intrigued Vadim Mikhailov since he was a child in the early 1970s, when his father, who drove a train in the Moscow subway, first gave him a ride in the driver's cabin and showed him the network of Metro tunnels beneath the Russian capital. By the time he was 12, Mikhailov and his friends had begun making increasingly ambitious journeys beneath the city.

Discoveries began with the first expeditions. Through manholes and building basements the boys wriggled into labyrinths under the Russian capital. First, they explored the bomb shelters under Leningradsky Prospekt, then they came across an Academy of Oceanology warehouse. "Imagine walking along endless corridors," recalls Mikhailov, "something dripping from the ceiling, the uneven light of torches. And all of sudden you find yourself in a room full of tanks of formalin, containing various sea monsters."

They soon went deeper underground. According to Mikhailov there are about six levels under Moscow, and in some places as many as 12, including old sewer systems, fountain foundations, and sloping drainage tunnels entangled in the depths.

As they grew up, the explorers took their investigations more seriously, drawing maps of their routes, studying history books, and talking to elderly Muscovites about past uses of the underground. Their explorations of deserted shafts and water mains built during the reign of Catherine the Great in the eighteenth century sparked a greater interest and enthusiasm for further expeditions.

"Ten to 15 years later we realized that we had investigated the entire level closest to the surface, comprising municipal public service tunnels. It was time to go down to deeper floors," recounts Mikhailov. In 1990, the underworld travelers formed a group called "Diggers of the Underground Planet," whose aim was to study the historical, ecological, and social aspects of the Moscow underground.

Check out the entire article over at The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists

I will try to upload the documentary at some point. Incredibly interesting and creepy.

Da svi`daniya

- Will

2005-12-08T15:41:00.000-05:00

Random Oddities and The Foibles of University Life

There is, sure, another flood toward, and these
couples are coming to the ark. Here comes a pair of
very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools.

And the crazy old man of the day award goes to this guy!
Liberal backbench MP Don Bell gets an earful from a constituent.
You tell him old fella! It's actually not crazy to tell it like it is.

Video courtesy of Stephen Taylor.

Not to be outdone, the runner-up for crazy old man of the day goes the dude pictured below.

Old man refused to advertise for companies

Qian Daokang, a 105-year-old man, plays with his doggie at his home in Nanjing, east China's Jiangsu province December 7, 2005. Qiao Daokang refused to work as brand ambassador for seven companies that produce health products. He said his longevity was due to exercises rather than eating health products.

Come on China quit trying to commercialize the hyper-elderly! I think his right eye can see into your SOUL. Crazy though, just think this guy was an old man in the 1960's!

And since we're over in Asia anyways, how about we hop on over to the island of Japan.

The year 1991. The Legend of Zelda : A Link To The Past has just arrived for the Super Famicom. In a move that will shock and appall people for years to come Nintendo unveils its Vanilla Ice inspired commercial for the game. BEHOLD!
The 1990's were not kind to us.

Trinity and Beyond

"Trinity and Beyond" is an unsettling yet visually fascinating documentary presenting the history of nuclear weapons development and testing between 1945 until 1963. Narrated by William Shatner and featuring an original score performed by the Moscow Symphony Orchestra, this award-winning documentary reveals previously unreleased and classified government footage depicting in graphic detail these powerful and awesome weapons.

If you get a chance to see this documentary, do so. I've seen it on TLC and TVO a few times. Truly frightening but awe-inspiring at the same time. And can you say no to William Shatner?! I mean come on!

Check out this clip of 'Tsar Bomba' -- The King of Bombs. The largest nuclear weapon ever detonated... By none other than the Russians! Truly scary.
The clip is from the movie, but it's being showcased on another program.

More info here.

The Foibles of University Life

A few months ago, a fellow student of mine at the University of Toronto sent me an entertaining Onion article entitled "Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up". Anyone who has attended school(everyone) knows what kind of person this is. That pompous, know-it-all, prick who wastes the students and the professors time by showing just how knowledgeable he or she is. I have one of these charming individuals in my Political Science lecture. For about 10-20 minutes each class the always entertaining Professor Kopstein will field questions from his students. This one individual however, feels it necessary to not ask a question, but instead make statements about what he thinks. NO ONE GOD DAMN CARES WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT POST-COMMUNISM! If you'd like to talk to Kopstein, do it on your own time, NOT MINE!

On the subject of post-communism I move on to my next topic.

I know I have something in common with this man. We're both eating fruit, we're both comfortably lounging on this bench, and neither of us are wearing shoes. Life as a monkey is certainly good... But something makes us different, and I can't quite put my finger on it.

Excuse the odd analogy, but it will make sense soon. I'm in my second year at the U of T, and I have been enjoying the hell out of the experience thus far. When I look at my fellow students I see a hugely diverse group. People of every stripe, race, ethnicity, religion and political bearing. Yet we're all sitting on that university bench, eating the sweet fruit of knowledge and chilling with our shoes off. However, some of my peers at the university are an enigma to me.

Being accosted by Marxists and Trotskyites on campus, waving their Socialist Newspapers in my face is getting a little tiring. On campus clubs like The Spartacus Youth Club and The Marxist Institute can preach their Socialist beliefs all they want... Just leave me alone! If I bombarded them with Capitalist or Conservative leaflets they would probably tell me to fuck off as well.

Let us take a look at the mission statement of The Spartacus Youth Club.

The Spartacus Youth Club seeks to recruit, educate and train socialist youth to be life-long revolutionaries, to join the fight to achieve communism over the whole earth by class-struggle centred means that are at once proletarian, revolutionary and internationalist. If you want to do something about the racism and oppression endemic to this system, if you want to fight for a future of equality and decency, then struggle with us to send capitalism into the dustbin of history.

I'm all for an intellectual discussion of political ideologies, after all political science is my major. I've asked members of these clubs questions, asked them to defend their ideals and theories. I wanted to have an enlightened discussion with these people and instead had my ideals derided and mocked. I was being civilized, you Mr. Marxist are the one who jammed the pamphlet in my face... Defend YOUR views, don't attack mine! If you want me to take your paper, sell me on it!

One of the signs in the SYC booth at the Sidney Smith building read :
End the Support of Pro-Imperialist NDP!

Marx, Engels and I chillin' on the East Side!

That quote represents a Leninist standpoint. Lenin believed that Socialist parties working within the confines of a Capitalist system were not truly Socialist. Therefore, the New Democratic Party operating within our parliamentary-Capitalist system is undercutting true Socialism.

Now I'm not a fancy, big city lawyer-type... *Puts thumbs under suspenders* ... But it seems to me that an organization calling other Socialist groups hypocrites for operating within the Capitalist system really shouldn't be trying to push these views at a Capitalist university. The modern university is key to free market Capitalism. Students are there to get their degree, so they in turn can find a job and make money! Presumably, this Spartacus Youth Club was started by a student at the university. Uh-oh! They're working within the bounds of the Capitalist System?!

Stop the Pro-Imperialist Spartacus Youth Club!

Come on now! If you truly were professional Marxist revolutionaries you'd have overthrown the University by now instead of hypocritically operating within the school's pro-Capitalist structure.

A few more points about the true Socialists on campus... How are you paying for school? Last time I checked my bank account, U of Toronto is very expensive! Also why does your club have a President? If you truly are Marxist-Leninist you should have a central committee... Come on now! If you're going to go ahead with this whole revolution thing don't be half-assed about it!

Haven't Russia, China and North Korea already proven that Communism, no matter how well intentioned will always fall victim to greediness of human nature? Not that I consider subverting human rights and killing millions of people well intentioned... I'm just pointing out that Capitalist countries tend to not kill millions of their own people. Just saying...

I'm a firm believer in Voltaire's mantra "I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." I just ask that you don't be a dick about what you're saying.

Call me when the revolution starts buddy!

- Will

2005-12-06T16:08:00.000-05:00

Doctor Oddlust : Or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love Exam Time.

These are the youths that thunder at a playhouse,
and fight for bitten apples; that no audience, but
the Tribulation of Tower-hill, or the Limbs of
Limehouse, their dear brothers, are able to endure.

Just to clear things up... I don't love exam time. I had 4 hours of sleep last night, and wrote a 2 hour term test at 9 am this morning. The test went well... But that is beside the point. Boourns to exams!

I'm a fan of 24. I'm really looking forward to the 5th season in which Jack plays a transient hobo being stalked by Chinese assassins. But 5 years ago it wasn't Jack Bauer's ceaseless ultraviolent behaviour that drew me to the show, it was Canadian ultra-hottie Elisha Cuthbert.

Now I've had a crush on this girl since her days on Popular Mechanics for Kids (She's the same age as me: therefore not creepy/illegal), and I'm not the only one who will say this fine Canuck lass grew up nice.

But what makes a hot girl even hotter? A love for sports; particularly hockey. Not only does Elisha love hockey like any true-blooded Canadian woman should, but she also writes a Hockey Blog over at NHL.com! That my friends is hot, even if she is a Montreal and Los Angeles fan.

Now for some random news, links and assorted hilarity.

Pandora

My brother Evan was kind enough to send me this link earlier, very cool concept.

What is Pandora?
Pandora is a music discovery service designed to help you find and enjoy music that you'll love. It's powered by the Music Genome Project, the most comprehensive analysis of music ever undertaken. Just tell us one of your favorite songs or artists and we'll launch a streaming station to explore that part of the music universe.

Just enter a song or artist and it will find similar music to cater to your tastes. It's already played some artists I've never heard before, but definitely intend to check them out soon. Pandora.com

Those nutball Creationists are at it again... This time they're accosting and beating Pro-Darwinist professors. Where you ask? You guessed it : Kansas!

Professor beaten; attackers cite KU creationism class

Now would a Darwinist beat the crap out of an intelligent design advocate? Maybe. But only to prove that Newton's laws of motion: (SCIENCE!) do in fact apply to them!

On the subject of religious fanaticism I'd like to present
The Passion of the Christ : The Benny Hill Director's Cut.

If this was the movie I had seen maybe I wouldn't have fallen asleep TWICE!
Before I fell asleep they were beating Jesus... When I woke back up THEY WERE STILL BEATING JESUS!

I guess Christians can take comfort in the fact that Christ's actual beating, torture and cruxifiction were not set to this hilarious music/sound effects.

Link thanks to Christie.

Now for some movie news!

Kelsey Grammar in full Dr. Hank "Beast" McCoy getup for X-Men 3.

The teaser trailer for X-Men 3 has arrived. Perhaps I was unfair in my assessment of Brett Ratner as a talentless, pompous, douchebag, hack of a director... from the teaser the movie looks decent. The film still has the great cast of the last two films... But a lot can still potentially go wrong. Whatever, I will reserve judgement until I see the finished product. Good luck Mr. Ratner!

As for me, I'm off to battle aliens on a far away planet.

That's Will-Speak for go eat some pizza and study.

- Will

2005-12-02T15:57:00.000-05:00

Random News and Hilarity : Because It Beats Studying for Exams

By heaven, methinks it were an easy leap
To pluck bright honour from the pale-faced moon,
Or dive into the bottom of the deep,
Where fathom-line could never touch the ground,
And pluck up drowned honour by the locks.

I figured I would lighten the tone of this post, seeing how my last post was a dry, witless analysis of a political campaign. God forbid I actually incite intelligent discussion of the issues. Plus I have better things to do, but I don't want to do them. My exams start up next week, but I'd rather do this than read about the rise and fall of Communism in Russia. And we're off.

Newsflash : Geeks want to play Star Trek Online RPG!

Look Daddy! A virgin!

A recent market study by Nielson Media Research found that 69% of Massively Multiplayer Online Role Players surveyed would be interested in playing the Star Trek MMORPG currently in development. The study also found that 59% of Star Trek fans surveyed also showed interest in playing the game. Now I enjoy Star Trek as much as the next man... I'm not a fanatic, but I do have more interest in the series than the casual fan. That being said, I also would potentially like to try this game. I just don't know if a game like this is a good idea though. I mean do we want to add MMORPG addiction to the already myriad social dysfunctions hardcore Trekkies already suffer from? Just my two cents, but don't say I didn't warn you people when poopsocking reaches epidemic levels. Check out the full aforementioned survey here.

And on the topic of RPG's those wacky Japanese gentlemen over at Square Enix have some wonderful news for us all. They have unveiled a clever drink tie-in to coincide with the release of Final Fantasy XII in March 2006 -- Potion. An energy drink.

If it worked for Sabin and Cloud, it will work for me.

"The drink supposedly makes you relaxed like herb tea and tastes mystical. It contains nutritional supplements so that the company can claim that the drinker might recover real life hit points." - Gamebrink.com

I'm interested to see what exactly "mystical" tastes like, in any event it probably will not be available in North America. I guess I'll just have to settle for Pepsi brand Antidote.

Over at The Log of the Gamer, I discuss the Brutal Side of 8-Bit Gaming. Video game violence is not a new phenomenon, it's just more realistic now.

And now news from the real world.

In Soviet Russia Squirrels Eat You!

Anyone who has lived in Ontario knows that black squirrels are a menace to society. Anyone visiting Ontario is always shocked by the tremendous size of these terrible creatures. However, Ontario black squirrels are apparently quite tame in comparison to their Russian brothers. Last week in Eastern Russia, a pack of squirrels attacked a stray dog that had been barking at them, and subsequently bit the poor thing to death. First of all, a PACK of squirrels? Russia must be an even crazier place than I was led to believe. I mean, first Boris Yeltsin and now this?! What a country!
The BBC has the story well covered over on their website. Remind me never to bark at squirrels if I'm ever visiting Russia.

'Lost' Girls are DUI!

Two stars of my current favourite show LOST were arrested for Driving Under the Influence. Michelle Rodriguez and Cythia Watros were arrested in two separate DUI incidents on the same night. I guess they had beer in the tail section of the plane.
The Smoking Gun is there!

And now for some movie news.

Everybody's favourite hapless, hack of a director Dr. Uwe Boll is back at it again. This time he's ruining a perfectly good video game(Dungeon Siege) by adapting it into a blatant Lord of the Rings rip off. In the Name of the King : A Dungeon Siege Tale stars Jason Statham, Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds, John Rhys-Davies, Lee Sobieski and last and certainly least the stunning thespian talents of Matthew Lillard in his first non-Freddie Prinze Jr. movie role.

Now if the poster doesn't convince you that this is going to be one of the worst movies ever made, perhaps this stunningly awful trailer will. Dr. Boll has been kind enough to split his masterpiece into two 100 minute parts! The sad thing is, Boll is using the same fight choreographer that did Hero and House of Flying daggers, plus he has an incredible physical performer like Jason Statham... And the movie still somehow manages to look like shit. I would like to wait and see, to give this movie a chance... But given good Uwe's track record : House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, Bloodrayne, I'm not getting my hopes up.

No Uwe... Thumbs down.

And that as we say is that.

- Will

2005-12-01T19:41:00.000-05:00

An Election Kind of Christmas and other Tomfoolery.

You have too much respect upon the world:
They lose it that do buy it with much care.

Didn't we just do this? Paul Martin's Liberal government was defeated in a non-confidence vote the other day up on Parliament Hill. So here we are off to the races, three days into the first winter election campaign in nearly twenty five years.

Recently I've been thinking about politics in Canada... I am a political science major, so it is only natural that my mind would tend to drift in this direction.

I have come to the conclusion that the Liberal sponsorship scandal was too complex for Canadian public. Now that's not to say the Canadian public is stupid, quite the contrary--they're just very busy. The Liberals would have taken a bigger hit in the polls if the scandal were more simple and straight forward... Politician A took kickbacks, Politician B blackmailed someone, Politician C had extramarital affairs, used tax dollars to cover it up etc. Something a little more baseline, less complex. The sponsorship scandal has so many levels, and even after the Gomery Inquiry the full truth still isn't known. It was a complex money laundering scheme, not some simple political SNAFU, it was major.

Had it been say, Jean Chretien punting small children for sport, or Paul Martin using ill-gotten money to deck himself out with bling, maybe then the Canadian public would have been up in arms. But with the sponsorship scandal, there's too much there... Did anyone you know actually read the Gomery Report? Probably not, and so the parties are left to spin the findings of the report.

As for the other political parties, the NDP keep chugging away. Jack Layton and Co. are proving what a determined bunch of people they are. They will be crushed.

The Bloc Quebecois meanwhile are doing what they usually do, standing up for Quebec rights, and pushing their separatist agenda. Good old Gilles Duceppe called for Quebec to get its own World Cup hockey and soccer teams, similar to Scotland and Wales having world cup teams, even though they are part of the United Kingdom. Interesting.

As for the Tories, they're off to a fairly decent start. Today Stephen Harper announced that if elected the Conservative Party would lower the GST from 7% to 6%, and 5% within 2 years. While the Liberals attempt to sling mud at their opponents, the Conservatives actually have a platform that does not involve constant name calling and character assassination. A "reporter" the other day asked Stephen Harper if he "loved Canada"... Firstly, what kind of hack reporter asks that kind of question, secondly why would any politician commit political suicide and say they didn't love Canada, and thirdly would Stephen Harper be running for Prime Minister of this great nation if he didn't love Canada?! This is going to be an interesting campaign.

I personally am hoping for a Conservative minority. It will prove to Canadians that the Tories are ready for power again, and limit any potentially socially conservative policies fringe elements of the party may try to bring up. I'm all for a fiscally conservative/socially moderate party - That's why I was a Progressive Conservative back in the day. The anti-gay marriage stuff isn't going to get them elected, if the Conservatives want to stand any chance in Ontario and other Canadian cities they need to drop that.

I am not a pundit, I know who I am most likely to support... Hell everybody does, I make no bones about where I stand politically. I am just going to watch the election play out and see what develops. For you intrepid reader, the ball is in your court.

For quality Conservative coverage check out Blogging Tories or Stephen Taylor's blog.
For Liberal coverage check out Progressive Bloggers.
And if you're looking for NDP coverage... Get off of my site you socialist bastard!

I kid... NDP.ca has all the info.

Enough election talk... Now for the saddest thing I saw all day. Kangaroo suicide.

Godspeed little buddy!

- Will

2005-11-22T21:49:00.000-05:00

Man Without a Harmonica

Hercules himself must yield to odds;
And many strokes, though with a little axe,
Hew down and fell the hardest-timber'd oak.

George W. Bush tried to duck out of press conference early while in China this Asia this weekend... Only problem was the doors out of the room were locked, and Bush made an ass of himself. Well done Dubya. See a video of this hilarity here.

Obligatory Mustard Man Remix, my apologies to Nug aka Mustard Man for sullying his good name with this picture.

Bush was caught by reporters with his hands in the proverbial mustard jar this week in China.

It's that time of year again: Winter!

There was a point a few weeks ago when I didn't want to believe it was coming. The last vestiges of Autumn were hanging on for dear life, cut short by the icy winds and falling like so many red and yellow leaves. Sadly, we here in Canada know that we are now in for about 5 months of shovelling driveways and sub-zero temperatures... Maybe global warming isn't all bad! Go away winter, don't make me come up there!

I really need to start updating this site on a more than monthly basis. However, I've been very busy with school and I have the good marks to prove it.

Apparently I turned 22 last week. Gifts, cards, alcohol, Medieval Times and the ever present spectre of death should have all been hints. Anyways, it was a great time on Saturday evening. Went to Medieval Times with the family (BOO Red Knight!) and then on to a few bars with about a dozen friends. The always entertaining Chris recapped the evening on his livejournal.

If anyone reading this cares about politics, you probably watched CBC's documentary The Secret Mulroney Tapes last night. Documenting years of private conversations between Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and journalist Peter C. Newman, its a fascinating look into the tenure of the most successful Conservative Canadian Prime Minister of the 20th century. Bottom line though, Peter C. Newman is a douchebag for betraying the trust of a friend like that, the conversations were meant to be off the record and are quite colourful at times. I also noticed, as Stephen Taylor of Blogging Tories pointed out that the documentary painted Mulroney in a somewhat favourable light, unusual because of the left leaning nature of the CBC. However, on the eve of a federal election their motives are suspect.

In other news I've discovered quite possibly the most effective means of procrastination on the internet... And no I'm not talking about pornography.
I am referring to TETRIS!

Time well wasted.

As my friend Adam said "How very 1992 of you.", I guess I missed the Tetris boat back in the day. If you can beat my record of Level 13 and 193 lines I will shake your hand AND give you a dollar.

And I believe I am spent.

- Will

2005-10-24T01:28:00.000-04:00

Lost in Interpretation

Didst thou never hear
That things ill got had ever bad success?
And happy always was it for that son
Whose father for his hoarding went to hell?

I miss employment.

Communication can be many things, but one of the most commonly accepted definitions of communication according to Dictionary.com, is "the exchange of thoughts, messages, or information, through speech, signals, writing, or behavior." One small. seemingly innocuous event, a simple introduction made me aware of just how finite verbal communication can be. Early in May of 2005 I was hired to work at a corporation, Redcliff Realty Management. This was a real job, the kind where people wear suits, where they actually pay you a decent amount, the 8:30 to 5 deal. My corporate naiveté and the assumption of my coworkers that I actually knew what I was doing, resulted in the awkward situation in question. Without a corporate frame of reference or a familiarity with "the lingo", I quickly became aware of just how important first impressions and more importantly, proper communication is in the work place.

My predecessor, Saleem had been spending the day with me, helping to familiarize me with the duties and responsibilities of the job. It was also his job to introduce me to my new co-workers. Redcliff RM is located in an office tower in downtown Toronto, with two floors worth of employees, I had a lot of people to meet. All the introductions had been going well, until I came to the north hallway of the twelfth floor. I followed him to the Julia's cubicle like a lamb to the slaughter. Julia was a thirty-something woman, and an executive assistant to several of the vice presidents at the company, a fact that I was unaware of prior to meeting her. After a brief introduction, Saleem and I were ready to continue our rounds. Just as we were about to leave Julia wanted to make sure she got something straight with me.

"Just so you know, I support John and Carol.", Julia said irritably.

Confused, I looked to Saleem for aid, but he just smiled unaware that I had no idea what she had just said. What did she mean by 'I support John and Carol'? Was something going on in the office that I didn't know about? Was it some sort of internal power struggle that would determine the course of my tenure with Redcliff? Was I being asked to choose a camp to support?! Frantically, I considered how I should respond.

"Uhhhh... ", I brilliantly started. "I don't want to get involved in any office politics." I finished with arched eye-brows.

Dumbfounded by what I had just said, I began to mentally punch myself in the face. As I finished the utterance I realized what she meant by "support". Apparently, it's not politically correct for someone to call themselves an assistant to someone else. 'I don't assist them, I support them!' Clarifying that fact for the new guy before he makes a complete fool of himself should be standard practice. After receiving a scowl from Julia that could only mean she thought I was a colossal moron, Saleem and I moved on to the next office. Abraham Lincoln was right when he said that it is "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Thanks to this incident of misinterpretation my office interaction with Julia remained frigid at best for the remainder of the summer. All Julia had to do was say, 'Just so you know, I'm John and Carol's assistant.'

I believe my experience not only demonstrates the fragility of verbal communication and also how important first impressions can be. An expectation of understanding plays a key role in spoken communication, but when one party involved has no frame of reference for the subject being conveyed, misinterpretation can happen. Her expectation that I would understand what she meant, and my perspective being that I had no clue what she was talking about. Before one tries to communicate an idea or thought, it is important to gauge if what you are going to say will be understood by the parties involved. In this case there was a lapse of understanding, and the message being conveyed was misinterpreted.

fin

Names have been changed so I don't get sued for slander or something.

Here's one of those interesting and sad/funny facts you discover when studying history. I was reviewing The Crusades, when I found a little blurb about the children's crusade.

The Children's Crusade is a possibly fictitious or misinterpreted crusade of 1212. The story is that an outburst of the old popular enthusiasm led a gathering of children in France and Germany, which Pope Innocent III interpreted as a reproof from heaven to their unworthy elders. None of the children actually reached the Holy Land, being sold as slaves or dying of hunger during the journey.

That's some good Poping you dickhead! Poor bastards.

- Will

2005-10-05T17:56:00.000-04:00

The Rise of Leafs Nation

Now is the winter of our discontent
Made glorious summer by this son of York
All the clouds that were upon our house
In the deep bosom of ocean buried.
Now we our brows bound with victorious wreaths,
Our bruised arms hung for monuments,
Our stern alarums chang'd to merry meetings,
Our dreadful marches to delightful measures.
Grim-visag'd War hath smooth'd this wrinkled front;
And now, in stead of mounting barbed steeds
To fright the souls of fearful adversaries,
He capers nimbly in a chamber
To a lascivious lute.

Tonight is the night. The puck drops at 8, and the real hockey season begins. The Toronto Maple Leafs take on the Ottawa Senators in what is sure to be a great game.

The mood downtown today was electric. Probably about 1 in 5 people I saw were wearing some kind of Leafs gear, be it a jersey or a baseball hat people know what's happening tonight. I only own a Leafs touque, but the weather today was not conducive for touque wearing.

Instead I opened my top drawer and dusted off the old Blue and White. Down came the Canadian flag and up went the Toronto Maple Leafs flag... I do what I can.

The Leafs are a team of IFs this season. If the team can stay healthy. If the players perform up to pre-lockout/pre-injury standards. If everything goes according to plan for once... The Maple Leafs have a good chance for the playoffs. All IFs. We'll see what happens.

For full coverage of the many NHL games played tonight, check out TSN.ca or just watch the game. I'm sure if you live in Toronto you'll be able to tell who won by the honking cars in the street.

I'm ready to beer it up a notch and root for the Buds!

- Will

2005-09-21T16:20:00.000-04:00

Dot Net : An Air of Legitimacy

For where Love reigns, disturbing Jealousy
Doth call himself Affection's sentinel;
Gives false alarms, suggesteth mutiny,
And in a peaceful hour doth cry 'Kill, kill!

I finally got around to buying an actual domain name for this site. What was once a mediocre blog, updated randomly, with no real focus... is still a mediocre blog, updated randomly, with no real focus BUT IT'S A GOD DAMNED DOT NET!

So update your bookmarks, roninkengo.blogspot.com is now
The Sixth Estate.net, .com was taken. Bastards.

What if The Shining wasn't the horrifically disturbing film that it was? What if it was the feel-good family movie of the year? This trailer supposes just that. Ah the power of the trailer.

In other news, school is in full swing again. Yay for $500 worth of books!

Finally, I have to mention my good buddy Craig. The guy is enjoying a little 15 minutes of fame with his second place finish at the Degree Poker Championship. Second place is the first place loser... But hey, I'm not the guy who won $10,000.

Check out Craig's play by play of the entire tournament here.

And I'm out, time to finish up this short essay which I may or may not post here in a few days.

- Will

2005-09-07T10:16:00.000-04:00

Back from the East and Film Fest Rundown

Weary with toil, I haste me to my bed
The dear repose for limbs with travel tired;
But then begins a journey in my head
To work my mind, when body's work's expir'd.

Town Clock be damned! It'll always be the Ice Cream Clock to me.

I'm back from Halifax and with one week to go before school I'm living the life of Riley. I'm doing as little as possible until school/film fest starts. As for the trip, we stopped in Quebec City on the drive down, and made the drive back in 16 hours! So you can understand why that would make a person not want to do anything for a while.

Halifax is a great town for a person in their early twenties. There are 5 major universities in or within an hour of the city. As a result the town has a lot of bars. I'd be lying if I said I didn't drink much while I was there... And I'd be telling you the truth if I said I spent most of my waking hours imbibing alcohol of some kind. A good way to end the summer.

The banner that sums up my current mind set.

In the nearly 10 years since I've been back in Toronto there is one thing above all else that I've really , really missed about Halifax. The greatest culinary invention of all time : The Donair.

As disgusting as that looks, you have no idea how damn good it is.

What the hell is a donair? Not to be confused with the doner kebab, A donair is a lot like a gyro, but it is far superior. Wikipedia has this to say about the donair.

A variation on the doner kebab known as a Donair was introduced in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada in the early 1970s. A restaurant called The King Of Donair claims to have been the first to serve this version in 1973. The meat in this version is sliced from a loaf made from a combination of ground beef, flour or bread crumbs, and various spices, while the sauce is made from evaporated milk, sugar, vinegar, and sometimes garlic. The meat and sauce are served rolled in pita bread with condiments such as tomato and onion. This version of the donair is very popular in the Eastern provinces of Canada, with many fast food pizza restaurants also featuring donairs on the menu. Many of them also offer a donair pizza featuring all of the donair ingredients served on a pizza crust.

Sadly, there is only one place(that I know of) in Toronto to find real Maritime donairs, and it's sub-par at best. But if you want to try one there is a Greco Express on Adelaide Street across the street from the North side of First Canadian Place in downtown Toronto. Nothing beats the real thing though.

Donairs aside, the trip was great. Saw family and friends who I hadn't seen in a long time, I hope I can get down there again soon.

Now onto the film festival.

I only get up at 4:30 am for two reasons. One, If I'm going on a trip somewhere and have to get an early start, or two it's time to buy Toronto Film Festival Tickets!

Yesterday was the latter. 4:30 am is truly an ungodly hour. If you went to sleep at midnight... waking up has fun times written all over it. I actually arrived at the Main Street subway station before it was even open and had to wait around for 30 minutes. When I finally did get down to the Manulife Centre at about 6 am, there were already about 50 people in line ahead of me. Now normally everything goes smoothly at this point... the box office opens at 7 am and people buy their tickets. I've done this 4 years in a row now, but this day wouldn't be the same.

I guess the genius who came up with online ticket sales decided that putting everything related to buying tickets on one system would be a good idea. This meant that at 7 am on September 7th, one computer system would be charged with taking Phone orders, online orders and in person box office sales all at once. Long story short, the network didn't have enough bandwidth and I didn't get my tickets until nearly 9 o'clock.

My unlucky friends who decided to buy tickets online, were forced to go downtown later in the day because the official Toronto Film Festival website went down because of the web traffic. What is worse is that because of this fuck up they weren't able to get tickets for some of the shows they wanted, and I'm sure they weren't the only ones. So next year Toronto Film Festival people..Pleasese get your act together. I got my tickets though, so my early start was not in vain.

Here is a collage of the ticket excitement!

So far I have tickets to :

Banlieue 13
Harsh Times
Seven Swords
Sympathy for Lady Vengeance
Walk the Line
The Notorious Bettie Page
SPL

With the help of some procured press passes I'll also be seeing press screenings of :

A History of Violence
Where the Truth Lies
Revolver

These are my pics, the bad thing about film festivals though is that for every great movie you see you're going to miss about 3 other great ones. There is just too little time and too many movies, and with school starting next week time will be at a premium.

I plan to review every movie I see both here and over at Empire Movies so check back for updates in the coming 2 weeks.

Now to do a whole lot of nothing.

- Will

2005-08-11T19:37:00.000-04:00

The Skeleton Key and The NHL Forecast

And thus I clothe my naked villany
With odd old ends stol'n forth of Holy Writ,
And seem a saint when most I play the devil.

REVIEW
The Skeleton Key
4/10 STARS

The Skeleton Key is yet another film in a long line of sub par horror/thriller films we've seen in the past few years. Kate Hudson stars as Caroline, a disenchanted New Orleans hospice worker. Looking for a change of pace, Caroline takes a job at a rural Louisiana estate caring for Ben Devereaux (John Hurt). Ben has been left totally paralyzed and unable to speak after an apparent stroke. Ben's wife Violet (Gena Rowlands) is a shrewd, old fashioned southern woman, who is suspicious of Caroline right from the get go. Violet gives Caroline a skeleton key that will open almost every door in the stately Louisiana home, except one. When Caroline is not caring for Ben she spends most of her time exploring the massive house, and in the attic she discovers one door her key won't open. After forcing her way into the mysterious room, she is shocked to discover bones, spell books, and other instruments for practicing Hoodoo. Hoodoo is a mysterious southern art used for protection and healing. Caroline questions Violet about the room, and learns that it belonged to the servants of the previous owners of the home. The servants, Papa Justify(Ronald McCall) and Mama Cecile(Jeryl Prescott) were brutally lynched and killed in the 1920's when it was discovered they were practicing Hoodoo. Sensing that the dead servants, the mysterious room in the attic and Ben's condition are somehow related Caroline sets out to unlock the mysteries the house holds.

Considering the acting talent in this movie, the film is a big let down. John Hurt is an excellent actor and does good work here, but Peter Sarsgaard who is also an excellent actor, feels very under used in this movie. To me The Skeleton Key was just a lot of wasted potential. It had an interesting enough premise, but just failed to deliver in nearly every way. Rather than trying something new, the movie sticks to formula, predictable plot devices and scare moments can be seen coming a mile away. Of course the movie wouldn't be a formula thriller if it did not have an amazing twist at the ending, and it naturally it does have a twist. However, when the so -called twist was finally revealed there was a tangible feeling of disappointment in the theatre. The movie desperately wants to be better than it is, and it shows.

What struck me as odd was that Kate Hudson's character became instantly suspicious about the house. She's supposed to be a college drop-out and yet she acts more like a private investigator in the movie. Perhaps the only redeeming factor of The Skeleton Key is that Kate is scantily clad in nearly every scene she's in, running around the house in her underwear, randomly taking showers and the like. I'm not complaining, but it struck me as a little gratuitous at times. I wanted the movie to be good, I really did... But it was so bland and predictable that I couldn't enjoy it. For example, in one scene Caroline stops at run down gas station on her way to the mansion and you just knew that some jittery local was going to come out and warn her about that haunted Devereaux place. I found myself able to tell exactly what was going to happen next. A good movie in this genre should keep you guessing, and The Skeleton Key keeps no secrets from the audience.

Have you seen a horror/thriller movie in the past 5 years? If the answer is yes, then you've already seen The Skeleton Key, nothing new to see here. In fact you've seen it done better in movies like The Sixth Sense and The Gift. I didn't know what to expect from this movie, but having seen it I can say I was soundly underwhelmed.

And now on to more pertinent matters: The NHL!

I was discussing which teams looked like they were in the best shape for a Stanley Cup run this year with some people earlier. The consensus is that The Philadelphia Flyers and the Ottawa Senators are in the best position at present. Certainly getting Peter Forsberg in and Jeremey Roenick out is a good move for the Flyers, personally I can't stand Roenick as a person, but he is a hell of a player... Forsberg just happens to be better. And as much as I dislike Philly, I agree with people that they are sitting pretty for a Stanley Cup shot.

Other teams in good shape seem to be Pittsburgh, with the next one : Sidney Crosby, Lemieux and others on board they're in a good spot these days. The Calgary Flames have retained almost all their pre-lockout players and have added Tony Amonte and Darren McCarty. Watch out for the Flames

As for Ottawa, I don't care what people say. The Leafs will destroy them in the playoffs yet again, Hasek be damned. What is best in life? Conan the Barbarian put it best, "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you and to hear the lamentation of their women." So will it be with the Senators come playoff time, when the Leafs crush them... again!

The Toronto Maple Leafs seem to be in an interesting spot. Gone are Roberts, Nieuwendyk, Leetch, Mogilny and Nolan... these guys were practically all my favourites on the Leafs. But we did pick up Eric Lindros, Jeff O'Neill and Jason Allison, a younger batch but all seasoned vets in their own right. I don't know what will happen until they start playing. They have a solid line up and have kept some of the key guys like Sundin, McCabe, Domi, Kaberle and Belfour and added some new faces. Should be a good one.

Pumped

- Will

2005-08-10T22:19:00.000-04:00

More Evolution Debate : Why is this a debate?

The theory of Evolution is exactly that, a theory. To truly prove Darwin's theory would literally require eons of scientific observation, and seeing how Darwin's ideas have only been around for about 150 years, we seem to have a long way to go. Most of the world has moved on. It was hoped by many that science and religion would stay at least 500 feet from one another, and that has been the case for the most part in the last century or so, with a few hiccups here and there..

Gone are the days of legal fiascos like the Scopes Monkey Trial, an effort to get the theory of evolution banned from schools in Tennessee in the 1920's. Most in the western world would like to think those days are behind us. But the growing tide of religiosity in the United States, particularly of the Christian Evangelical variety has reopened old arguments, of science versus religion, biology versus theology, Darwinism versus Creationism.

Creationism is also a theory, it holds with the Bible's view of the origin of life as we know it. That is, that the Judeo-Christian God, created the Earth in 7 days, created Adam in his own image and Eve from his rib, and so on. When weighed against actual empirical evidence, the theory doesn't stack up too well, but as with all things religious it requires a leap of faith. Lacking current evidence for many elements of Darwin's Theory of Evolution, scientists too must take a leap of faith, but unlike their Evangelical counterparts do not infer Divinity in the absence of fact.

Armed with their faith, Evangelical Christians, in the United States particularly, have made Creationism a doctrine, and veiled it under the name of : Intelligent Design. Conservative Think-tanks and advocacy groups in the United States are preaching Intelligent Design as fact, using PR firms to propagandize their "science", challenging the long held Theory of Evolution as invalid, the very basis of the modern science of biology, which has in more ways than can be mentioned changed the world we live in for the better.

I'll respect a man's faith, I'll respect his right to an opinion. Though I may not agree with Evangelical Christians or so called Intelligent Design advocates, I'll let them say what they want to say. However, when matters of religion and state intermix, as they are increasingly doing in the United States and religious views are forced on individuals, and potential scientific facts are withheld, that's when I take issue. Take Kansas, surely to diminish the role of evolution plays in the origin of life when it comes to teaching children, is to strengthen the Intelligent Design Argument. If they truly want to equalize the arguments, and expose the their school children to a wide array of viewpoints when it comes to the origin of life; why not educated them about the stork bringing newborn babes home, or John Smith's treatise that all life is descended from cheese. Why not teach your damn kids something that has a scientific basis in reality? Instead they're choosing to force Christian views on the whole of society, which to me borders on Theocracy... But hey that's just me.

Many others have put it more eloquently than I, and frankly the fact that this debate even exists anymore is mind-boggling to me, enraging me to no end. But hey, I'm not religious, and am firmly based in the scientific interpretation of the world around me. To each his own, just don't cram your views down my kids throat. I am so very glad I am not a citizen/resident of the United States, I don't have to, and will not have to deal with this ridiculousness.

In short, Professor Richard Dawkins is my new hero. He's considered the worlds foremost Darwinist.

Please check out the following:

To hear an interesting "debate" between Professor Dawkins and George Gilder, a leading advocate of Intelligent Design check out this On Point Radio interview.

Charles Krauthammer also wrote an interesting article in Time Magazine last week. Coming from a fairly right-wing guy this is quite refreshing.

And for further info on some of these Conservative Think Tanks and Advocacy Groups, who are the main proponents of Intelligent Design, check out this New York Times article on the subject. (Thanks for the link Dad)

That's all for that little snit.

Just so you know, when Jesus isn't busy doing whatever it is he does, he sometimes makes personal appearances. Not to be out done by his mother Mary, who has appeared on windows and under Chicago overpasses, Jesus has shown up quite a bit lately. It seems the American infatuations with good eats and good religion have finally come to a head. First it was the Jesus Grilled Cheese Sandwich and now it's the Jesus Perogi.

A Michigan housewife was making perogies on Palm Sunday 2005 and the J man decided to make an appearance on one of the said perogies. Now like any good Christian, the woman decided she would try and make a quick buck off ol' J.C. so naturally the said perogi is now available on eBay, opening bid $500 US. Take a gander at the Jesus Perogi. Perogies happen to be one of my favourite foods, so I would invariably eat the Jesus perogi. "Dear lord... I know I should eat thee... But... mmmmmm..."

I'M A GEEK!!! ARE YOU?!

Vaya con Ciencia.

- Will

2005-08-05T14:01:00.000-04:00

A Day At The Rat Race

Hear me more plainly.
I have in equal balance justly weigh'd
What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we suffer,
And find our griefs heavier than our offences.

PART DEUX

"Don't let the name throw you Jimmy, it's not really a floor. It's more a steel grating that allows material to sluice through so it can be collected and exported."

"This train is now out of service.", the loud speaker announces as we come to a gentle stop inside Union Station. I lift my eyes from the book I'm reading and look around the car, Half asleep people, dazed and confused people who just woke up, people with sunglasses and ipods, working people ready for the day. As I wait for the doors of the train to open I look at the man standing next to me. He's about 70 years old, and wearing the same thing I am. White short-sleeve business shirt and black khakis. He seems happy, but I know he's been doing the same job most of his life. 50 years with a company and then they take you out back with shotgun in hand.

It's 8:30 am. The cogs of the business world started turning hours ago, I am playing catch up. Over-priced croissant and ice-cold juice in hand I step into my office, also known as the copy room. Faxes and mail need to be delivered, and without my skilled hands the copiers might not have enough paper to last the hour. 5 pm is as far away as it's going to be today, and that is a depressing point I make to myself every weekday at about this time.

I'm glad my co-workers seem to enjoy what they're doing. But as a summer student at this company, I am tasked with the most menial of duties, so I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed my job. It is money in the bank after all, so what do I have to complain about? The people I work with are great and in general it's an enjoyable place to work.

My real fear seems to be the thought of becoming like the man on the train. I can't stand spending the entire summer inside... This beautiful, inordinately hot summer. Even if I did continue this job and begin my climb up the corporate ladder... The prospect of having to do that just seems dumb to me. Has LIVING in this society of ours become so purposeless? You get a job so you can make money. You use your money to provide for yourself and increase your standard of living. You get promoted and you make more money, raising your standard of living again. You work your ass of in this job for years and years so you can retire. Maybe you did well for yourself and your family, and maybe you didn't... But now you can retire and eventually die! Oh joy! Was your life worth it?!

The whole rat race ethos: the bullshit, the politics, the repetition, the clawing at any chance for advancement. It sickens me. I just can't see myself doing that, I don't want any part of it. And I know that if I'm not careful I'll find myself right in the thick of it.

I feel like a douchebag for writing all this angsty bullshit, "I am not a number!" etc. Someone will probably say "Well, that's what they all say Will." Well fuck 'em, I'll be damned if I don't try and break the mould.

It's just a summer job, but now I have a perspective on the business world. I've seen the bottom and I have no interest in the 'supposed' top.

These days on the internet, after someone types something like this they often say "Get a blog!". Well here it is. At least I know what I'm writing is angsty bullshit, unlike say, every user of livejournal.

Here's something to brighten the mood, a proper version of the Tom Yum Goong trailer. Tony Jaa's follow up to Ong Bak, Tom Yum Goong is a full-contact, insane acrobatic, no wires Thai martial arts flick.
Behold the Tom Yum Goong trailer.

Can't wait.

- Will

2005-08-03T20:35:00.000-04:00

The Morning Commute and Personals from Hell

I will not jump with common spirits,
And rank me with the barbarous multitudes.

"... that guy is a whack job. Traffic is up next. You're listening to the Dean Blundell Show..." I blindly reach for the on switch of my bedside lamp. It's light outside, but it really shouldn't be. 7 am is far too early for my tastes.

Stumbling into the shower, I am quick to discover the unpleasant realities of 6 hours sleep. Just a few more hours is all I want!, But work just stares smugly at me.

It's August 2nd, the day I select my university courses for the upcoming year. I boot up the computer, the bright monitor boring a hole into my brain at this early hour. The University of Toronto has a "neat" little system called ROSI (Repository Of Student Information), which allows you to add courses from the comfort of your own home. The comfort and convenience of your own home means you have to awake early just to ensure you can even get a spot in the courses you want. I begin to add my courses.

YOU CANNOT ADD COURSES AT THIS TIME.
YOUR SIGN UP TIME IS 7:25 AM.
THE CURRENT TIME IS 7:23 AM.

I mentally crush my monitor with my bare hands. ROSI, I have discovered is incredibly innovative in the field of ANNOYING THE HELL OUT OF ME!

Two silent, seething minutes pass. I add my courses. How generous of you ROSI!

Still in a half-sleep I step into my work clothes, hastily brush my teeth and hair and step outside to enthusiastically face the day! Why are the people on the street so awake and I'm not?

As I walk towards the GO station people emerge like clockwork from the side streets. Literally in a line as they all trundle towards the same place as I do: Danforth GO Station. Their hair like mine, still wet from the shower. They also share my look of enthusiasm, you know the one? It's the 'Yay, we get to go work now!" look.

Like cattle we all pile on the train, headed for spiritual slaughter downtown.

"Come on Jimmy lets go take a peak at the killing floor!"

Part II tomorrow.

And now onto less depressing things!

Personal Ads From Hell

Mature Bear Encephalopodosexual seeks same. Must enjoy nature, long walks on the beach, Magic the Gathering, and Yanni. No weirdos. - tonyb

Piercing Fetishist seeks raw meat for hours of piercing ecstasy. If you don't look as good as I do by the time we're through you can sue me! - Rhonda

Nocturnal Briton seeks companion to aid in basement excavation, good digging skills a must. Must provide own shovel. - Mick

Eastern European grandmother seeks elderly male, uber-tanned companion for Riviera get away. Thongs will be provided, clothing optional. - Herta

Well that wasted some time.

Pork Brains anyone?

Time for some Battlefield 2.

- Will

2005-07-31T15:04:00.000-04:00

Death From Above 1979 and Other Assorted Miscellanea

Enjoy the honey-heavy dew of slumber:
Thou hast no figures nor no fantasies
Which busy care draws in the brains of men;
Therefore thou sleep'st so sound.

Hey Ladies!

Sloths : Proof that God does have a sense of humour.

Saw a hell of a rock show last night. Death From Above 1979
a Toronto band on the rise, played to a soldout house at the Horseshoe Tavern. If you haven't heard their stuff, go out there and find their album. They put on a hell of a show, so if you get the opportunity to see them live, don't pass it up. Quality shite.

Here are a few pics from last night:

Movie Trailer Round-up:

Joss Whedon creator or the reprehensible Buffy and Angel tv shows, actually made a good show with the short lived Firefly tv series. The show was cancelled, but they made a movie of it. And here's the Serenity trailer.

The Wachowski Brothers are at it again. V For Vendetta stars Natalie Portman (They shaved her head!) and Hugo Weaving. As far as I know it's some kind of modern day Robin Hood story or something... Looks unique.
V for Vendetta trailer.

Steve Carell stars in The 40 Year Old Virgin. From the makers of Anchorman, this is sure to be the comedy to see this summer. The 40 Year Old Virgin trailer.

And last, but surely not least a trailer for Tom Yum Goong. The latest offering from Thai martial arts phenom Tony Jaa. If you didn't see Ong Bak... well go and see it. This movie looks insane. Tom Yum Goong trailer. I really hope they play this at the Toronto Film Festival this year.

And that's my queue to exit.

- Will

2005-07-21T21:04:00.000-04:00

Come Back Clint!

"Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" - Josey Wales

I was by no means raised watching Clint Eastwood movies, but I certainly saw my fair share of them growing up. The first of his films I saw was The Eiger Sanction, Clint plays a part-time assassin/university professor, pretty good movie. Later I graduated to Sergio Leone's quintessential spaghetti western, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly and was suitably impressed as any 14 year old would be. Shortly thereafter I caught part of Dirty Harry, with a tagline like

"You don't assign him to murder cases, You just turn him loose!",

How could you go wrong? Good old Clint was the biggest badass I'd ever seen in movies, Every character more hardcore and cool than the one that preceded it,

For me, Unforgiven solidified my impression that Clint Eastwood kicked ass, but then something happened, I became aware of a little movie called The Bridges of Madison County.

What happened Clint?!

Now I've never seen the film myself, but the movie's reputation as a chick flick precedes it. Clint wasn't shooting anyone... Well not with a gun at least. He played a photographer who falls in love with a house wife played by Meryl Streep. WTF!? Eastwood goes a whole 2 hours without shooting, punching or chasing anyone! Something was seriously wrong here.

Maybe he was just trying play something different for a change, but lets be honest Clint, she's a good actress but you can do better than Meryl Streep.

It seems that the older Clint gets the less badass his characters are. Clint now usually plays retired badasses, washed up badasses, or over-the-hill badasses... Who come out of retirement for one more big show!

Take a look at the roles he's played the last 15 years.

Unforgiven - Retired Old West gunslinger
In the Line of Fire - Veteran Secret Service Agent
A Perfect World - Grizzled Veteran U.S. Marshall
Absolute Power - Retired Professional Thief
True Crime - Over-the-hill Journalist
Space Cowboys - Retired/Washed-Out Astronaut
Blood Work - Retired FBI Profiler
Million Dollar Baby - Washed up Boxing Trainer

All these characters he's played have two things in common: They're all retired or on the verge of retiring and end up returning to whatever their respective profession was for one last shot.

He's still a badass in these movies... Just an old one... Who can't do much in the way of ass kicking, shooting, blowing shit up. But he still acts like he could kick your ass, and that's what counts.

Yes a kinder, gentler Clint is on the way. A career of being type cast as a badass has lead to a career of being type cast (By himself) as retired badass. He's going to be making another Bridges of Madison County-esque movie soon... I can feel it. I am convinced that Clint's final movie will just be two hours of him bawling into his fists wishing for the glory days, regretting the fact that he's now too old to even lift the .44 magnum; the most powerful handgun in the world that could blow your head clean off. And that my friends will truly be a sad day.

The most powerful bouquet of flowers in the world that couldn't blow your head clean off... But they smell nice.

But never fear, video games to the rescue! 'Dirty' Harry Callahan of the much vaunted Dirty Harry movies will be returning in video game form some time next year, with none other than Mr. Eastwood reprising his role. Once more a vintage Clint Eastwood will be cleaning up the streets of San Francisco, should be good.

If you need an education in Eastwood just check out any of the movies I mentioned, but avoid Bridges of Madison County unless you are a middle-aged housewife... If that's the case, go nuts.

Bring back Old School Eastwood! ... Somehow.

- Will

2005-07-14T20:13:00.000-04:00

I'm Back!

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak,
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

Well I finally got around to it, I'm updating el blogo. Only after about 30 people told me I really needed to update my blog, it has been too long.

I've literally started writing this over a dozen times in the last month and a half, but as per usual, some occasion did inform against me. So what's new in the world if Will you say? Quite a bit.

As you may or may not be aware, I now rule the world with an iron fist. All mankind now bows before me in penitence, and those who oppose me will be broken asunder. But seriously, all world domination talk aside it's been an eventful summer thus far.

The Scottish Play, AKA Macbeth went very well. We had a great turnout for every performance, and I got a lot of good feedback from people. Looking forward to doing another production with the company, provided of course that it's not a musical *Shudder*. Anyways the only way to illustrate just how great the play was will be with a collage of sorts... a photo montage of Macbeth.

I also happen to have a job. My exciting new occupation, which is only a summer gig is some of the most exciting work available in Toronto right now. I'm an Office Services Clerk at a real estate management company. Delivering mail and faxes, keeping the copiers/faxes/printers working, managing records, keeping kitchens stocked with coffee and beverages... Yes truly rocket science. The pay is good and the office well air-conditioned, so no complaints here. The latter is certainly a benefit on scorchers like today, a cool 35 degrees celsius.

Remember how I used constantly complain about the state of my computer? About how it was sub-par in nearly everyway possible? Well not anymore! My new job provided me with the means of upgrading the ol' clunker into a true beast of a machine.

The Beast:

Intel Pentium 4 3.2 ghz
2 Gigabytes of RAM
and the far too expensive 256 mb ATI Radeon x850XT video card.

I'm now gaming it up a notch. Catching up on all the great games I've missed out on the past few years, and playing a few new ones. Battlefield 2 = Funlarity.

Tomorrow I head to Montreal with a few friends for the Fantasia Film Festival, I'll be seeing lots of crazy genre movies and beering it up a notch with some of the forsaken of fipilele. Should be more than a little entertaining.

I'd post my Batman Begins review, but personally I think it's the worst review I've ever written. Lack of sleep + Lunchtime rush review = Poorly written review. Good movie though.

Look for reviews from the Fantasia Film Fest next week.

In other news : Transformers : The Movie coming July 4th 2007! More at TwitchFilm. Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg? Can't wait.

Now I will watch this terrible movie with Meat Loaf and that chick from Sex and the City while I pack.

- Will

2005-05-26T23:35:00.000-04:00

The Scottish Play and Science Vs. Religion.

Hail, king! for so thou art: behold, where stands
The usurper's cursed head: the time is free:
I see thee compass'd with thy kingdom's pearl,
That speak my salutation in their minds;
Whose voices I desire aloud with mine:
Hail, King of Scotland!

Why can't more people be like this guy?
Professor Richard Dawkins of Oxford University sticks it to the Creationists.

Where are more reasonable voices like the good Professor here, when it comes to this Evolution versus "Intelligent Design" debate? And why is it a debate to begin with? Why can't I think one thing, and you think another, and we'll agree to disagree. Teach evolution as the "THEORY" that it is in schools, and keep religion out of public schools, as was intended. If you want to teach your kids Creationism, send them to a Christian school, and don't force it down the throats of others, while keeping potential scientific truth from them.

The religious right has a tendency to annoy me, though I don't take issue with scientific community. I wonder why... Thanks Professor.

Star Wars was awesome. Better than I could have hoped for, it has already set box office records, and most people I've talked to really liked it. So much better than the last two, and finally a Star Wars movie on par with the originals.

On to other matters. Our Scottish Play dress rehearsal was tonight... Quite hectic, but all-in-all I think the show should go well. Again, for those not aware, it is Friday May 27th at 7 pm, May 28th at 2 pm, and May 29th at 2 pm, at Kew Gardens Park in the Beach... A few blocks from Queen Street E and Woodbine Ave. I look forward to a good crowd.

Should be a busy day tomorrow, job interview in the morning, play in the evening and later that night a birthday/going away party for the lovely Christie. Alas the girl is leaving our fair town, off to bigger and better things in New York City.

Argghh... Full plate for the weekend.

Now for the most random thing I've seen all week... And that's saying something :

METAL GEAR SOLID 3 : CRAB BATTLE!!!

Adieu,

- Will

2005-05-18T00:39:00.000-04:00

Wow I'm in a Local Newspaper and Star Wars Tomorrow.

Be lion-mettled, proud, and take no care
Who chafes, who frets, or where conspirers are:
Macbeth shall never vanquish'd be until
Great Birnam wood to high Dunsinane hill
Shall come against him.

Welcome back Kotter!

Small cast picture from a local newspaper promo-ing the production of Macbeth I'm in. I play MacDuff. By far the funnest part of the whole process, was choreographing the final showdown between Macbeth and MacDuff. It's going to be at Kew Gardens in the Beach May 27th at 7 pm, May 28th at 2 pm and May 29th at 2 pm. Should be good.

Star Wars is tomorrow. My anticipation has reached a fever pitch, and now I'm just sitting here in quiet glee, waiting for tomorrow night. So close!!!

Not quite Paul Stanley, Not quite Darth Maul... it's Maul Stanley!

I'm out, when you next here from me I will have seen the last Star Wars movie ever... And I will be sad.

In ultra-geek mode.

- Will

2005-05-11T17:28:00.000-04:00

Terrorist Product Placement and The Countdown.

Rightly to be great
Is not to stir without great argument,
But greatly to find quarrel in a straw
When honour's at the stake.

So I was watching 24 this week, like I usually do. Another fine episode, with a huge cliffhanger ending. Something was odd about this episode though, I noticed a few products conveniently placed throughout the episode. It seems that CTU uses Cisco Systems Technology, and wanted viewers to know that. In another odd instance of product placement, it seems that the terrorists and their nefarious leader Marwan are partial to using Alienware notebooks.

Now I may not be some marketing genius, but is a terrorist mastermind using your product to launch a nuclear missile against a US city really good advertising?

Marwan uses Alienware, Why don't you?

Look for future product placement in the last few episodes of 24. For example, Edgar Styles will constantly be eating Whoppers for the rest of the season, while wearing a Burger King crown. Tony Almeida will plummet back into a horrible cycle of alcoholism and will become a walking advertisement for Jack Daniels. At random intervals throughout each episode Jack Bauer will feel compelled to say "We keep thinking about tough because we want you to drive a Ford.", and will then proceed to drive off to kick some terrorist ass in a Ford.

I just can't shut up about this... Episode 3 is getting amazing reviews. Rotten Tomatoes.com. Just one week until the big day, then I start counting down to Batman Begins hehe.

A beer truck crashed on the 401 today. Oh the humanity of it! Here's the tragic scene caught on video.

I highly recommend you check out The Lance Krall Show on Spike TV. It is genuinely very funny, lots of toilet humour and subtle gags. Monday nights at 11:05 pm Eastern.

And now to Macbeth it up a notch.

- Will

2005-05-06T16:57:00.000-04:00

House of Wax and Eating pizza in the dark.

You may as well say,
that 's a valiant flea that dare eat his breakfast on the lip of a lion.

I was very pleased to discover yesterday that I ended up with a very solid GPA now that school is over. 76% just over 3.0. Thumbs up I say, I'll take it.

Bring it!

A little under 2 weeks to go until Revenge of the Sith hits theatres, and already the reviews are pouring in; the majority positive, a great relief indeed. I know two people who saw it yesterday and say it is quite probably one of the best in the whole saga, second only to The Empire Strikes Back. And you know, seeing tv spots like this only get me more excited about the film. Episode 3 in all its PG-13 goodness is just around the corner!

And now for a movie that puts the crap in craptacular, House of Wax.

House of Wax
3/10 STARS

You'd be scared too if you were in House of Wax.

House of Wax bears more of a resemblance to classic 80's teen slasher flicks than the original Vincent Price film. If the filmmakers had intended to make a generic slasher flick, then they most definitely succeeded. The movie takes a very standard if overused approach to the horror genre; take a group of hapless, sex crazed teens and pit them against of psychopath of some kind. A group of teens on a road trip to the biggest college football game of the year, decide to take an ill fated short cut through rural Louisiana. Naturally, car troubles force the group to camp out on the outskirts of a mysterious small town. While the rest of the group waits at the camp site, Carly (Elisha Cuthbert) and her boyfriend Wade (Jared Padalecki) head into town to find the local mechanic, Bo (Brian Van Holt). The town it seems is best known for its world famous House of Wax, predictably Carly and Wade decide to snoop around the creepy House despite the sign saying that it is closed. If there is one thing protagonists in a horror film should not do it is tread on a psychos' property. What follows is a predictable kill fest in which many of the teens are systematically stalked and killed in various, mildly amusing ways.

What can I say about this movie that I liked? Not a lot. Elisha Cuthbert and Paris Hilton looked extremely good throughout the film, up to and including Paris's much talked about death scene. Cuthbert for me was the highlight of the movie. In the tradition of the horror genre she gives a strong Jamie Lee Curtis-esque performance, lots of scantily clad running around and screaming. The rest of the cast is just so-so; you don't care enough about them, so when the killer finally catches up with them you'll find yourself quite under whelmed. The movie does have a few standout parts, but they aren't enough to make you forget how mediocre the rest of the film is. One involves a finger and a pair of wire cutters, and the other is the climax when the House of Wax melts. The latter sequence was extremely well executed, but can't make up for the rest of the films shortcomings.

Paris Hilton is not an actress, and it shows. She plays Paige, a non-wealthy version of herself and fairs about as well against a knife wielding maniac as you'd expect her to. A good horror movie makes you care about the characters, so that when they meet their untimely end you actually give a crap. House of Wax does not succeed in this respect; in fact you welcome the deaths of the many throwaway characters in the film. Scare moments in the movie are way too predictable and are overused. I could go on for paragraphs about the myriad other problems House of Wax suffers from, but I'd be wasting my time and yours.

If you're in the mood for a mindless slasher movie this weekend go see House of Wax. The movie takes a tired, overused formula and brings nothing new to the genre. The girls are hot, but that is about all the movie has going for itself. Perhaps a more apt title for House of Wax would be Beautiful People are Slaughtered by Knife Wielding Maniacs. Sure, Paris Hilton with a pole through her head is funny; it's just not worth your ten dollars.

That's my cue to exit.

- Will

2005-05-01T22:52:00.000-04:00

Van City pics and a Doings a Transpirin'

Make all our trumpets speak; give them all breath,
Those clamorous harbingers of blood and death.

Finally got the pictures from my little Westerly adventure a few months back. My dad just never got around to burning them onto a CD until a few days ago. Vancouver is a great city, I lived there when I was younger, and do appreciate its charms... I'd live there if I didn't like Toronto so much.

Great view from the hotel. Unbelievable weather, warm and clear every day.

Brothers looking badass at the Stanley Park lookout.

Inside the giant hollow tree in Stanley Park.

Whistler Village, shortly after arrival.

Chilling at the chalet after a long day of skiing.

My showboating brother Evan, meeting me at the top of Blackcomb.

View from the edge of Couloir Extreme, literally an icy chute filled with rocks at the top of Blackcomb. You fall and you're guaranteed to break something or die. Evan was crazy enough to ski it.

Will, Dad and Evan enjoying the view from the Blackcomb.

The trip would have been better had I not got a cold the day we arrived, but I still got three solid days of skiing in, and got to enjoy Van City for a few days.
All together a very fun way to spend reading week for myself and the fams, sure as hell beats reading. If only Ontario had real mountains, oh well, we have the lake... ewww.

Bubbles is the man.

Ivan Reitman is producing a Trailer Park Boys Movie! Should be interesting, foul mouthed, criminal hosers seem like they'd be too much for the United States though. Oh well, only time will tell.

I'm such a closet Star Wars geek, though my family would dispute that fact the way I've been anticipating Episode III. I bought my tickets for the 12:01 am showing of Revenge of the Sith yesterday. Everything I've seen from the movie has impressed the hell out of me... Georgie boy may just have hit the nail on the head for this one. In the mean time feel free to nerd it up a notch by watching the Revenge of the Sith music video
'A Hero Falls'. I've already spoiled myself silly, but I can't wait to see this movie... Only 18 days until Darth Vader is back.

May is a good month. The new episode of Family Guy aired tonight, that show is as good as ever. Evil monkey, upsidedown face kid, Creepy old man, Greased up deaf guy! How can you go wrong? And in other news, The Simpsons celebrated their 350th episode with yet another craptacular episode... Please... let the show die!

Check out The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie if you get the chance. Though some liberties were taken with the story, it is a fairly faithful adaptation, and a lot of fun.

Now I just have to wait until 6 am for ROSI to come back up so I can see if my marks are there.

Vaya con dios.

- Will

2005-04-22T00:13:00.000-04:00

24-isms and The End of School... For now.

You have too much respect upon the world:
They lose it that do buy it with much care.

The FOX series 24 has got to be the best hour of TV around these days. This action packed fourth season has made it one of my favourite shows this year. The show has now been on television long enough to develop certain common themes and occurrences ... 24-isms if you will. So here I present the top 10 24-isms.

10. Tony Almeida cannot go an episode without unenthusiastically doing some assigned duty.

"Ugh... Fine I'll get right on it."

9. Any rookie CTU agent that accompanies Jack Bauer into the field is guaranteed to be shot within the first 5 minutes of the operation. Think red shirts from Star Trek.

8. A season must not pass without a guest appearance by everyone's favourite lesbian-assassin-with-a-penchant-for-nudity : Mandy.

Mandy must kill/wound/or otherwise injure someone in the course of the episode.

7. CTU must employ at least one Asian man, on the condition that he has the most un-Asian of names possible.

Tom Baker is apparently a common Korean name.

6. As a function of their job, CTU employees must always suspect, backstab and undercut one another to protect national security.

5. Every episode Chloe O'Brian must interrupt a poignant character moment with some bit of information to move forward the plot of the show.

"I hate to interrupt this important moment in your relationship, but I think I found something worth looking at."

4. Being Head of CTU during a 24 hour crisis usually ends badly for that person. Whether it be the loss of a child, being sent to prison for treason, or heroically dying in a nuclear blast, it's a tough job.

3. Torture repeatedly proves that it is easiest way to get a question answered.
Agent Richards is always on call with his small silver brief case, ready to interrogate a mole, suspected terrorist or fellow CTU employee. Richards really loves his job.

2. Jack Bauer can do anything he wants. Constitution?! ... pfft. When the Jack Bauer trademark rage is turned on, terrorists better watch out.

Jack Bauer will never go an episode without yelling one or all of the following things, often while pointing a gun at some poor schlub : "GET DOWN!!!", "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR!?!?", "WHERE IS *Insert name of Terrorist Mastermind* !?!?!", or "DROP THE GUN!!!"

1. Love triangles will never be allowed to interfere with the operation of Government, Law Enforcement or Counter-Terrorism

Bill Buchanan, Michelle Dessler and Tony Almeida

Terri Bauer, Jack Bauer and Nina Myers

Jack Bauer, Audrey Raines and Paul Raines

Wayne Palmer, Julia Milliken and Alan "Ow My Heart!" Milliken

Chase Edmunds, Kim Bauer and the Mountain Lion

Etcetera.

I'm sure there are many more 24-isms, suggestions anyone?

Well school is over. I aced my exams(Allah willing) and now the job search begins. Such a good feeling being finished, my backpack weighed a ton but a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders.

Word of advice if you go to U of T... Bring your books back on time. If I'd known I would have been charged $34 DOLLARS! I would have brought the damn books back on time. DAMN YOU ROBARTS!!! *SHAKES FIST*

Paul Martin is funny. You know you're screwed when instead of responding to allegations of corruption you take the opportunity to take a shot at the opposition. The NDP, Conservatives, Bloc and the rest of Canada just want a straight answer Mr. Dithers!

Million Dollarized
- Will

2005-04-16T00:06:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY

The great person is ahead of their time, the smart make something out of it, and the blockhead, sets themselves against it.
- Jean Baudrillard

LINK OF THE DAY

God help the United States... No, wait... Scratch that.

SONG OF THE DAY : Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds

Two truths are told,
As happy prologues to the swelling act
Of the imperial theme.

Harvey : Best Dog Ever.

I always find it interesting, I tend to blog when I have work to do. It's procrastination in its truest form, the farthest thing from what you should be doing.
The penultimate form of procrastination... The ultimate being FARK or fipi lele, basically the whole internet.

And what should I be doing? I should be studying. But I've already done enough for today, so I'm going to call it a night. As interesting as Canadian history is, (Yes, I am serious) there is only so much one man can read or write about it in the course of a day.

If you've seen the movie Akira you'll appreciate this.

A custom bike studio in Japan has created a kit for owners of the Honda Fusion scooter. A few bolts here and there and bam you have the badass bike from Akira.... It is the coolest and nerdiest thing I have seen in a long time.
Check it out.

Two sticks and a taxi driver.

There should be a law against whatever is happening in that picture. Something is indefinably odd about this picture. Robert Deniro and the Olsen Twins at the Tribeca film festival.... Just feels weird typing that. Somebody get those girls a sub sandwich!

Go watch Super Size Me. A hilarious and disturbing documentary about a man who only eats at McDonalds for an entire month... And the effects it has on his body. It was nominated for best documentary at the Academy Awards. Definitely worth your time.

Well that was entertaining. Now back to the doldrums of Canadian history. Perhaps some tunes will lighten my spirits, that and the hilarity of a muted softcore porn movie on CityTV right now.

And since apparently people are visiting this site again: comment please.
The counter never lies!

Fried Brain.
- Will

2005-04-08T10:28:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Is man one of God's blunders? Or is God one of man's blunders?
- Friedrich Nietzsche

LINK OF THE DAY

Academic Analysis of Star Wars and other mono-myths. Far too interesting.

SONG OF THE DAY : The Arcade Fire - Rebellion(Lies)

There's husbandry in heaven;
Their candles are all out.

Set phasers to virgin!

Oh Commander Data... I mean Brent Spiner, the Trekkies love you so much.
Am I the only one that takes issue with a huge continuity problem in the Star Trek movies? Why the hell does Data get older and fatter?

Don't pull this "Data is played by an actor and actors age just like real people" crap on me! Massive continuity blunder, they should be ashamed of themselves. Maybe it was just bloating and stress caused by the android equivalent of PMS. I don't know people, just throwing that out there. This entry has started off way too nerdy for my tastes, on to other matters.

Well it appears the proverbial shit is about to hit the fan for the Liberal Party of Canada. The previously banned testimony of one Jean Brault, a Quebec advertising executive and Liberal Party supporter is now available... Well everywhere. A publication ban can only keep the dirt under wraps for so long... And now that the ban has been lifted, all of Canada gets to hear about the dirty politics the Grits have been playing. Money laundering, under the table donations, hundreds of millions of dollars in personal favours for political gain... Fun times. Perhaps the little guy from Shawinagin and Co. Were not always the nice guys I was lead to believe.

I'm no political analyst or pundit, but I do know a shit storm when I see one. For always entertaining, albeit slightly biased coverage of this story check out Stephen Taylor's site. I'd link you to a Liberal blog just to balance it out, but they haven't said much about these indefensible allegations yet. But enough politicking.

In regards to blogs in general I have come to a conclusion. Unless you provide a service to people, they aren't going to read it. Whether it's providing useful or interesting information to people, pointing them hilarious links, or whatever; it has to be worth their time. I'm going to limit the personal stuff unless I deem it important enough to share. It's not that I don't want to discuss my personal life, but if I really needed an outlet for that kind of thing I'd get a live journal and whine about my life. Thankfully I don't have that inclination like so many others.

I'm going to go for a half and half approach, so that each visitor can garner what they will from this site. Partially, this is to prevent creative stagnation, and also to set some guidelines for what this site is.

And what this site IS? Hell if I know.

- Will

2005-04-04T18:27:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY

It is not enough to have a good mind; the main thing is to use it well.
- Rene Descartes

LINK OF THE DAY

Bloggers getting a hard time.

SONG OF THE DAY : Beck - Still Missing [Royksopp Remix]

Hung be the heavens with black, yield day to night!
Comets, importing change of times and states,
Brandish your crystal tresses in the sky,
And with them scourge the bad revolting stars,
That have consented unto Henry's death!

"I find your lack of faith disturbing."

Well Pope John Paul II died this weekend. Obviously I take issue with some of the Roman-Catholic church's more socially conservative views, but I liked JP2. Whatever your feelings towards him or the RC Church are, it cannot be discounted that he was a great ambassador for peace and a very influential figure in world affairs for the past three decades. He will be missed by many. Rest in Peace sir.

Ideally the TTC will look like this some day. Imagine being able to take the subway all the way to the airport... Very London-esque. And only $50 Billion dollars to build, that's what a world class transit system costs these days. The benefits would be innumerable, traffic and pollution would be down, and you could get nearly anywhere you needed to be quickly and efficiently.

One day. More at GTABloggers.

In regards to the link of the day, I find it absolutely disgusting that the Liberals would stop at nothing to try and keep their corruption under wraps, even if that means stomping all over the rights of the average Canadian citizen. Jean Brault's testimony will get out sooner or later.

So... since technically this blog is located in the United States... I believe the site is called Captains Quarters Blog. I'm not going to link directly to the dirty particulars of the case, I'll leave that to you intrepid readers.

I don't know if that's the site in question, but that's what I've heard. I've also heard that Jean Brault's testimony is quite damaging to the Liberal Party, how appropriate that Gomery put a publication ban in place. But I'm not publishing anything, nor linking directly to the story.

No one reads this blog anyways, I'm preaching to a wall.

- Will

2005-04-01T20:14:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the wise; Seek what they sought.
-Matsuo Basho

LINK OF THE DAY

Did you know that David Lynch was asked to direct Return of the Jedi?

SONG OF THE DAY : DJ Shadow - dj shadow's theme

I'm back. Hopefully, on a more regular basis. I've been busy, same shit different day it would seem. I've been studying far too much... Which is good... It's a far cry from my high school days. Exams are in a few weeks and I will be ready damn it!
The internet is not helping though.

I've been a spoiler hog for Star Wars Episode 3. I told people I would go into the movie fresh, without reading or seeing anything... But I pretty much know everything that happens, seen every picture that has been released and have watched every bit of footage available. It's quite sad actually. But such is my closet obsession with Star Wars. If you enjoy spoilers hop on over to Millenniumfalcon.com and spoil yourself to your hearts content. For me May 19th can't get here soon enough.

Here are the two new TV spots released today. Tragedy and Unleashed.

Last month I did a lot of inter-Canuckistan travel. Montreal, Quebec City, Vancouver... Hamilton. Admittedly the last one isn't that far away, but I got the most drunk there... Well Quebec City was close. Good times on all fronts. Still waiting for my dad to send me the Vancouver pictures. Here are a few from the trip to Francophone land.

Johnny's friend Jane and myself in Montreal.

Johnny and myself outside of the Ice Hotel, that place was crazy.

See Sin City. That is all.

And now for something completely different.

REVIEW
Kontroll
9/10 STARS

When one thinks of countries that produce good films, Hungary does not often come to mind. The surreal film Kontroll from first time director Nimrod Antal aims to change that perception. Kontroll centres on a rag-tag group of ticket inspectors (kontroll agents) who work under less than ideal conditions in the Budapest subway system. One of these inspectors, a downtrodden young man named Bulcsu (Sandor Csanyi) is homeless and spends 24 hours a day underground, living and working in the subway system. The job of kontroll agent is not an easy one, Bulcsu and his fellow inspectors have to put up with angry superiors, violent hooligans, clueless tourists and rival ticket inspection teams on a daily basis. Through a series of chance encounters, Bulcsu befriends a beautiful young woman Szofi (Eszter Balla), who for whatever reason always wears a giant bear suit while riding the subway. At night, Bulcsu wanders the tunnels and furthest depths of the underground, all the while he is plagued by an ever present shadowy figure, who may or may not be a figment of his imagination. The depression and confusion associated with working and living underground is beginning to take its toll on Bulcsu, he hasn't seen the light of day in months and begins to question the course his life has taken. Things take a turn for the worse after a series of deaths caused by a pusher, Bulcsu is the prime suspect. Immediately, Bulcsu begins to suspect that the shadowy figure who has been stalking him is behind the murders. Bulcsú now has a purpose in life, with the help of Szofi and his fellow kontroll agents he sets out to catch the shadow in the act, and in the process clear his name.

If only all first time directors could be as lucky as Nimrod Antal. Kontroll works so well, in so many ways. The story has a darker tone, but there is definitely a lot of laughs in this movie. The supporting cast is stellar, and work so well you'd swear they really were kontroll agents. As for the two lead characters Bulcsu and Szofi, Sandor Csanyi and Eszter Balla have an on screen chemistry that is very difficult to capture on film, but Antal gets it. Perhaps the strongest character in the film is the location. Shot on location in the Budapest subway system, the tunnels and stations have a life of their own. Antal seems to have found some of the most eerie and crazy underground locales ever put on film. The cinematography was amazing, it helped capture the dreary, vastness of the underground. Also, the soundtrack was very cool and it suits the tone of the film perfectly. One sequence of the film stood out in my mind, the rail run. Bulcsu and a rival inspector attempt to race one another on foot between two subway stations, this bit will have you on the edge of your seats.

My only real qualm with the film was that some of the more abstract elements were not explained as well as they could have been. Nimrod Antal said he did this on purpose to leave things open for interpretation, but sometimes I want a director to tell me what he's really trying to get at. Other than that some people may take issue with the fact that the movie is subtitled, but I don't think I would have liked the movie as much if the voices had been dubbed.

Kontroll is the kind of movie destined for cult status. The movie is dark, moody, serious and funny all at the same time. It is definitely not a movie for everybody. But if you're in the mood for something different this weekend check out Kontroll. You will be in store for a unique film experience, guaranteed.

- Will

2005-02-22T23:50:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "When fortune empties her chamber pot on your head, smile and say We are going to have a summer shower." - Sir John A. Macdonald

SONG OF THE DAY : Broken Social Scene - Stars and Sons

LINK OF THE DAY : Maple Leafs win Stanley Cup by default!

The night has been unruly: where we lay,
Our chimneys were blown down; and, as they say,
Lamentings heard i' the air; strange screams of death,
And prophesying with accents terrible
Of dire combustion and confused events
New hatch'd to the woeful time: the obscure bird
Clamour'd the livelong night: some say, the earth
Was feverous and did shake.

He lives. Once more unto the breach dear friends, once more. I figured I would update el bloggo since it's been nearly a month. And a busy month it was. Stay tuned for a Constantine review. Also blogger.com is retarded! They limited the size of your description on the side bar. Thus it looks as it does.

Went to the 2005 Canadian International Auto Show on Thursday. Managed to score a media pass, so the place was deserted. We all had plenty of time and space to ogle some of the gorgeous vehicles present.

Spent the weekend up in Quebec. Toured around with a busload of fellow university students, and got about 6 hours of sleep the entire weekend. Montreal and Quebec City are so damn nice it's unbelievable. I love Toronto, but it certainly does not have the history of those beautiful cities. Plus my French came in handy so it was all good.

I was also amazed at the nightlife in Quebec City, on a Sunday no less. Those French Canadians know how to throw a party. If you're up there, make sure to check out Cheze Dagobert, very cool club.

Tomorrow I head out to British Columbia. Van City and Whistler for skiing. Good times will abound I'm sure. Anything makes up for the drudgery that is reading week. It is what they call it... bah.

I meant to post this review last Thursday, but since I was away this weekend I did not have the opportunity.

REVIEW
Constantine
6.5/10 STARS

John Constantine(Keanu Reeves) goes to Hell and back in Constantine.

First time movie director Francis Lawrence brings us Constantine. Keanu Reeves stars as the titular John Constantine, a supernatural private eye of sorts on a mission to rid the world of evil and save his soul from the powers of Hell. Based off of the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer, Constantine is set in a world where the forces of Heaven and Hell battle for control of humanity. John Constantine and a select few are the only ones aware of this eternal struggle, and do what they can to keep things in balance. While investigating the mysterious death of her sister, a chance meeting between Detective Angela Dawson (Rachel Weisz) and Constantine starts a mysterious chain of events that threatens to tip the balance in Hell's favour. Stricken with lung cancer, and walking the thin line between good and evil, John Constantine must redeem himself in the eyes of Heaven, or spend an eternity in Hell.

I was very happy to see Keanu Reeves playing an anti-hero. Too often he plays the "Who? What? Why?" protagonist, always guessing and never quite knowing what he's doing. But in Constantine, the character has been around the block, he doesn't like what he does for a living, but he knows it has to be done. Reeves gave a very strong performance as John Constantine, a chain smoking, cancer ridden, loner who has a bone to pick with Lucifer. The bright spot of the movie has to be Rachel Weisz. She plays the newcomer to this strange, hidden battle of good versus evil, the audience is with her character every step of the way, never knowing what to expect next from this unique story.

I also liked Constantine for what it tried to be. A concept like this has a lot of potential, and there were many cool scenes... But it just never seemed to deliver. The movie just failed to convert on the many opportunities for coolness it was afforded by the comic book. The hidden underworld of Angels and Demons was under used, and Hell as a setting was over used, you barely even catch a glimpse of Heaven. The scenes in Hell were horrific at first, but it kept coming into play throughout the movie, After a while you just said to yourself, "Oh... We're back here again are we?." There are other sporadic problems with the movie. The dialogue is mumbling at times, and some of the scenes made little sense. Perhaps this was intentional, but I like to have some idea what is going on by the time the climax rolls around.

Constantine is an entertaining movie. You can't hold it against the movie for trying too hard. The things that work in the film work very well, and those that don't, fall flat but don't weigh too heavily on the rest of the movie. Fans of the comic book will have many qualms with the movie version, but given that John Constantine is not the most well known comic book character, it won't matter to most. The hardcore fans can rest easy knowing that nobody else really cares that Keanu Reeves isn't a wise cracking, blonde, haired Briton, as the character was portrayed in the comics. This isn't The English Patient, but the movie is good entertainment and a lot of fun.

Now I must be away. If I die, you know what to do... It involves dynamite and a lot of patience.

- Will

2005-01-28T17:29:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor." - Jon Stewart

SONG OF THE DAY : Handsome Boy Modeling School - A Day In The Life

LINK OF THE DAY : Funny Episode 3 Spoof

I have no words:
My voice is in my sword: thou bloodier villain
Than terms can give thee out!

Tara Reid plays a brilliant scientist... ?

It's that time again. Director Uwe Boll has brought us yet another cinematic gem.
Alone in the Dark

Based very, very... very loosely on the PC Game of the same name Mr. Boll has once again one-upped himself with his latest film. Yes, that's right the man who gave us House of the Dead actually has some "stars" to work with this go 'round.

Hollywood power players Christian Slater and Tara Reid star in what is sure to be an early Oscar contender for next year. I'm too lazy to sum up the plot, so many thanks to the person that wasted their time over at www.imdb.com. It sounds like an incredible film.

Edward Carnby (Slater), detective of the paranormal, unexplained and supernatural, investigates a mystery (the recent death of a friend) with clues leading to "Shadow Island" that brings him face to face with bizarre horrors that prove both psychologically disturbing and lethal, as he discovers that evil demons worshiped by an ancient culture called the Abskani are planning on coming back to life in the 21st century to once again take over the world... And only he and a young genius anthropologist with an incredible memory (and his ex-girlfriend), Aline Cedrac (Reid), stand in their way, at a gateway to hell. Standing in Carnby's way, however, is the impact that a brief encounter with an evil spirit called the Queen had upon his mind, as he slowly finds himself overpowered by the forces of darkness as they eat away at his very sanity...

That's right, Tara Reid is a genius anthropologist with an incredible memory. I honestly never thought I would read or write such an oxymoronic sentence... But here we are people.

Now I could write entire tomes about how shitty and ridiculous Uwe Boll's movies are. But that would be like punching a blind guy with no arms. His movies speak volumes of his ability as a film maker. How he ever got a start in the industry is a mystery that may never be answered.

So weekend movie viewers I have a request of you. I implore you, for your own good DO NOT SEE ALONE IN THE DARK. Any kind of financial success will only embolden Mr. Boll further, resulting in him making more "quality" films. If you value your brain cells, good taste and/or eyes... Don't pay to see this film. You've been warned, any damages caused to you by this movie, physical or mental are not my fault. The blame will lay firmly in Mr. Boll's hands.

I won't be seeing this movie, not now, not ever. I beseech you, do yourself a favour and avoid this movie at all costs.

I leave you now with the trailer for Uwe Boll's next exciting video game adaptation : Blood Rayne. Good God! What happened to you Ben Kingsley... I thought you were cool.

Shuddering uncontrollably
- Will

2005-01-25T22:01:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Only the educated are free." - Epictetus

SONG OF THE DAY : Daft Punk - Television Rules The Nation

LINK OF THE DAY : Classic RockStar Games : GTA2 Baby!

A man whose blood
Is very snow-broth; one who never feels
The wanton stings and motions of the sense,
But doth rebate and blunt his natural edge
With profits of the mind, study and fast.

Bought the Anchorman Special Edition the other day, so funny.
"I pooped a cornish game hen."
Also grabbed Die Hard : Best Christmas movie ever. Highly entertaining.

Anyways, the real reason I'm here, is to promote this CRAZY trip to Montreal I'm going on. My buddy Johnny at McMaster is setting it up, and the bus is almost full.
All the details are below, it's going to be a hell of a good time, so I recommend contacting Johnny ASAP! It's going to be mostly 3rd/4th year students from Mac and U of T, recipe for hilarity!

Feb 19th
8:45am - departure @atrium of student centre
9:45am - possible pickup @bayview station in toronto
3:00pm - visit to montreal's newest mall Complexe Les Ailes
http://www.complexelesailes.com/en/index.htm
5:00pm - check into montreal centre travelodge (free time)

Travelodge Info
7:30pm - reuben's (optional/free time) this place is known for their
famous montreal steak sandwiches. Please make your own reservations
(514) 861-1255
10:00pm - Jet nightclub. This club has been rated the best club in all
of montreal and usually there's a pretty good asian crowd. I have put
everyone on the guestlist, so it's free before 11pm.
http://www.jetnightclub.com/
1:00am - for those with a wild side, this is the time to hit up a strip
club. Club Super Sexe suppose to have the hottest girls and its walking
distance to the hotel. Actually, reuben's and jet nightclub are both
within 15 mins walk, i think.

Feb 20th

10:00am - Casino de Montréal. One of the most beutiful casinos. b/c
we're going as a group, we are recieving $20 of gift certicates each,
$10 for this visit and $10 for the next.
www.casinos-quebec.com
2:00pm - The ice hotel near quebec city. This year is their 5th
anniversary and they will celebrate w/ the Arts of Winter Festival.
This is a must see, and i'm currently trying to work out a group rate.
http://www.icehotel-canada.com/en/index.en.php
5:00pm - arrive at quebec city and a visit to the winter festival and
chateau frontenac (option/free time).
7:30pm - dinner
8:30pm - hotel check-in (free time)

Feb 21st

10:00am - depart from quebec city, bus tour of area
1:00pm - maybe lunch in kingston
4:00pm - drop off @bayview station in toronto
5:00pm - drop off @mcmaster university, student centre
***********************************************************************

Additional info:
-Price is based on 4 people per room. triple/double rooms also avail.
-the room arrangement will be determined after we fill the bus
-The drinking/gambling age is 18+
-Tickets will be on this thursday Jan 20th @ student centre from
10:30-3:30. Other times to be determined. If you can't make this time
feel free to email me and we can arrange a time and place.
-If you have any other questions, feel free to email me
luys@mcmaster.ca or call at 905-528-7340

Should be fun, I have one day back in Toronto after a week in Van City and at Whistler, and then I head to Montreal... SWEET!

- Will

2005-01-15T01:07:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." - Abraham Lincoln

SONG OF THE DAY : Frank Sinatra - Summer Wind

LINK OF THE DAY : We're on Titan... Nutty.

Not in the legions
Of horrid hell can come a devil more damn'd
In evils to top Macbeth.

I wish this were a more informative blog. But it's just personal crap for now. Had a highly entertaining evening of poker and alcohol, came in third out of five, which is better than usual, so no complaints here.

Recently, I went out for a production of Macbeth, expecting to maybe get a small part. And then BAM! MacDuff! That's a huge part, and now I'm all afraid I won't be able to do it. Should be fun. I can read the stuff fine, it's the memorization of the lines that's going to kill me. More than I bargained for... But hey... Should be fun.

On to other matters though. Political punditry can usually be boiled down to simple partisan hackery, but Stephen Taylor is a welcome exception to this quotidian occurrence. He and several others started Blogging Tories.ca. Great to see people finally sticking it to the Liberals, and you know... Demanding accountability from the government and such, something that has been lacking the last decade or so. Good work gents.

Going to Whistler next weekend, noice!

Buzzed

- Will

2005-01-09T01:46:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "You shoot me in a dream, you better wake up and apologize." - Mr. White

SONG OF THE DAY : The Servant - Cells

LINK OF THE DAY : Waiting for Star Wars : This Guy is my Hero.

Cowards die many times before their deaths;
The valiant never taste of death but once.
Of all the wonders that I yet have heard,
it seems to me most strange that men should fear;
Seeing that death, a necessary end, will come when it will come.

This is what happens when I get bored.

What a long fucking day!

Word to the wise... If you need to get up early, two pints worth of pepsi and jaegr will not serve your slumber well. I got a nice 3 hours of sleep last night, and had to be downtown by 8:30 am.

It wasn't like I was just down there to sit in class or something. I had to get up for kendo class. The fine art of Japanese Fencing. I like it. However, 2 hours of it, on 3 hours of sleep can be quite exhausting.

After that it was off to an informative seminar at Woodsworth College. Improving Your Essay Writing.
Very interesting indeed.

Here comes the fun part though. I was able to redeem my Christmas gift certificates for goods and services. Mainly goods. DVD's to be exact.

Today, I added to my already extensive collection of movies the following : Saving Private Ryan, best World War 2 movie ever made. Reservoir Dogs, Tarantino's finest. Unbreakable, My favourite M. Night Shyamalan flick. And finally, Once Upon a Time in the West, Sergio Leone's quintessential western classic.

For some reason I didn't already own these movies... But now I do. Yay for me.

Now it's time to nerd it up a notch again, with a cool Episode 3 Promo Pic. Vader baby!

Oh yeah... and 50,000 HITS! HOLY CRAP!

- Will

2005-01-06T17:31:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "I have never advocated war except as a means of peace." - Ulysses S. Grant

SONG OF THE DAY : Nirvana - Heart-Shaped Box

LINK OF THE DAY : Good riddance you bow-tie wearing prick!

Thou hadst been better have been born a dog
Than answer my waked wrath!

Hotel Rwanda
9.5/10 STARS

Don Cheadle is Paul Rusesabagina, hotel manager and hero.

Director Terry George brings the brutality of the oft forgotten Rwandan Genocide to the screen in Hotel Rwanda. The film is the very personal story of a man and his family, set against the horrors of an ethnic civil war. Don Cheadle gives a stunning performance as Paul Rusesabagina. Paul is manager of the Hotel Des Milles Collines in Kigali, the capital of Rwanda at the outset of the genocide. With the country descending into chaos, Paul must use his position of authority to safe guard his family and protect the hundreds of refugees now occupying the hotel. The United Nations peace keeping force in Rwanda, lead by Colonel Oliver (Nick Nolte) do what they can to help Rusesabagina. Colonel Oliver's hands are tied though, limited by resources, man power, and mired in UN bureaucracy the peace keeping force can do little more than watch the unfolding humanitarian crisis. As the world turns it's back on Rwanda, Paul must act quickly and pull in every favour he has if he and his family are to survive the coming genocide.

The story of Hotel Rwanda had to be told sooner or later. The world literally turned a blind eye to the Rwandan Genocide in 1994 that saw the slaughter of nearly one million people at the hands of machete wielding gangs. Director Terry George gives a documentary feel to the movie, and without it the film may not have worked as well. As for the actors, I really can't speak highly enough of Don Cheadle's performance in this film, he was amazingly believable and should look forward to an Oscar nomination. Nick Nolte's performance varied throughout the movie. His wheezing, muttering performance may have been what the director was looking for or it could have just been Nick Nolte being himself. Surprisingly the film is not as outwardly violent as one would expect in a movie about a genocide. There are a few violent parts, but much of the horror of the genocide is merely alluded to. Hotel Rwanda is able to tell the horrific story of the genocide without getting into gruesome detail.

The movie takes some liberties with names, chronology and events, but in order for the film to work these are necessary changes. Nolte's Colonel Oliver is basically an amalgam of all the top UN military personnel, whereas Cheadle's character is a real person. These minor details won't concern anyone who isn't already familiar with Rwandan Genocide. The personal survival stories like this are incredible, but I would have liked to have seen more of the UN peacekeepers angle on the tragedy. Joaquin Phoenix is in the movie too... For about 5 minutes. His role as a generic news agency cameraman feels almost pointless, like they had to add another big name to add to the marketability of the film.

Hotel Rwanda is one of this year's best movies. It's by no means the feel good movie of the year, but it's very powerful film. Don Cheadle gives the performance of his career and shows what an underrated actor he really is, Hollywood take notice. The world ignored Rwanda in 1994, it's time to pay attention and hear their story. See this movie.

2005-01-03T01:07:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Without change, something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken." - Frank Herbert

SONG OF THE DAY : The Postal Service - Brand New Colony

LINK OF THE DAY : SA Goons Present : Anti-Drug Ads

By heaven, methinks it were an easy leap
To pluck bright honour from the pale-faced moon,
Or dive into the bottom of the deep,
Where fathom-line could never touch the ground,
And pluck up drowned honour by the locks.

TWO THOUSAND AND FIVE! The future is here.

What exactly do we call this decade anyway? The 00's? How do you say that? It's interesting people are now starting to say 20-05, as it's shorter and easier to say than two thousand and five. At least when we get to 2010 we can call the decade the teens. Stupid zeros. Good bye 2004... Hello Twenty O'Five!

Had a blast clubbing at Piccadilly Circus. I'm not normally a club person, but hey it was New Years Eve. Highly entertaining.

My resolution is to eat better, and continue and improve my exercise regimen. Don't know about keeping that first one, all the food I like is probably not the best for me.

So Happy New Year everyone!

I'll leave you now with some spoilerific pictures from Star Wars Episode III. I'm a reformed Star Wars geek, but every time a new movie gets closer I become a rabid fanboy all over again.

The captions are "Look Ma no hands!" and "Haircut : Darth Vader Style"
Spoiler Pictures

More here.

Uh... Wow.

Cheerio

- Will

2004-12-29T01:57:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "The Liberals are the flying saucers of politics. No one can make head nor tail of them and they never are seen twice in the same place." - John Diefenbaker

SONG OF THE DAY : Chemical Brothers Feat. Q-Tip - Galvanize

LINK OF THE DAY : How to eat Sushi.

Set honour in one eye and death i' the other,
And I will look on both indifferently.

This tsunami catastrophe is unreal. Word is the number killed or missing will rise to over 100,000 people. That doesn't include the impoverished survivors who will die from disease and dehydration.

But of course what's the first thing I see on CNN.com today. Celebrities Survive Tsunami! Thousands of non-Americans are dead, and what's the first thing they report today... OH ARE OUR PRECIOUS CELEBRITIES ALRIGHT!

Every loss of life in this horrible disaster is a tragedy unto itself, and just part of the already staggering death toll. I feel sorry for everyone hurt, injured or killed in this, but I'm not praying for some celebrity... I'm hoping everyone comes out okay.

I'm glad Jet Li is okay, I'm hoping that Supermodel Petra Nemcova recovers from her serious injuries, my heart goes out to the family of Richard Attenborough... But the scale of this human tragedy is just too big to care WHO these people are. The fact of the matter is : they ARE people, and thousands of them are dead or missing.

This whole thing is just unreal.

Now I'm going to sound like a jack ass for even mentioning a few extra things.

New banner up top in case you can't see.

Also check out the link of the day : How to eat Sushi. I only had sushi 3 times this year, compared to 40 or so times the year before, I'm in need of a good feed.

Hungry for sushi, and depressed about this whole tsunami thing.

Ways to help with the tsunami relief.

- Will

2004-12-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time." - Friedrich Nietzsche

SONG OF THE DAY : The Avalanches - Frontier Psychiatry

LINK OF THE DAY : Say what you will... I'm looking forward to this movie.

The bay-trees in our country are all wither'd
And meteors fright the fixed stars of heaven;
The pale-faced moon looks bloody on the earth
And lean-look'd prophets whisper fearful change.

Jim aimed, and with one well placed shot, it was all over.

Do you remember the time in your life when you were positive Santa was real? There was absolutely no doubt in your mind that he lived at the North Pole, and came calling each Christmas with presents for you. Ah childhood, good times.

Then you got older, and came to realize that your parents had been lying to you about Santa Claus, The Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy and Snagglepuss, for most of your life up to that point.

In case there was any doubt left in your mind as to Santa Claus's existence... Here are eight reasons why Santa Claus cannot or wouldn't exist for long if he were actually real.

8. The real Saint Nicholas died almost two thousand years ago.

7. Santa Claus is immortal. However, morbid obesity sadly tends to preclude a
long life.

6. The North Pole is just ice. No magic toy kingdom up there.

5. In order to reach his gift quotas, Santa's Elves would have to work in sweat
shop like conditions 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

4. No species of hoofed animal can fly.

3. Not everyone has a chimney... Magic be damned!

2. PHYSICS: An eminent physicist from the U.S. is quick to point out the following.

Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second -- that is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000 of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, hop back up the chimney, retrieve the sleigh, and move on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, is false but we will accept for our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per household, a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, or 3000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle (the Ulysses space probe) moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second. A conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

1. Gun-toting rednecks would invariably make some sort of bet involving beer, the winner being the first man to bag himself Santa Claus.

Show this to your child when they come to the realization that Santa Claus is a sham.
The proof is in the pudding.

In other news, I just watched The Godfather "Uncut and Uncensored" on Spike TV. They have a strange slant on what exactly qualifies as "Uncut and Uncensored". All the violence was there, but they cut out the "bad" words and nudity.

I think this is a reflection of the American ethos right now. Violence is somehow acceptable... Yet so-called bad words, and tasteful nudity from a movie made over 30 years ago is bad. It was uncut, but they dubbed the language and actually mosaic censored the nudity. I guess two guys enjoying a meal in a restaurant getting their brains shot out at point blank range is acceptable for TV. And Sonny Corleone being riddled with thousands of bullets at a toll booth is perfectly fine.

But a 4 letter word, and a pair of breasts... RUN FOR THE HILLS BOYS!

I don't get it.

- Will

2004-12-20T21:11:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Since a politician never believes what he says, he is quite surprised to be taken at his word." - Charles de Gaulle

SONG OF THE DAY : Del Tha Funkee Homosapien - Dr. Bombay

LINK OF THE DAY : Stephen Taylor : Pundit Extraordinaire

But, alack,
That monster envy, oft the wrack
Of earned praise.

The Phantom of the Opera
7/10 STARS

"There is a hideous freak behind you Christine!"

Film musicals have enjoyed a resurgence in recent years, the success of 2002's Chicago is largely responsible for the renewed interest in the genre. The Phantom of the Opera is director Joel Schumacher's adaptation of Andrew Llyod Webber's hugely successful stage production of the same name. In this classic tale, the Paris Opera House is being haunted by a disfigured, musical genius known only as the Phantom(Gerard Butler). Christine Daae(Emmy Rossum) is a young chorus girl at the Opera House, who has been learning to sing under the tutelage of the Phantom. He secretly loves Christine, but his disfigurement prevents him from revealing himself to her. Much to the chagrin of the Phantom, the Opera's patron Raoul begins making romantic overtures towards Christine. The Phantom begins terrorizing the Opera House demanding that Christine be given bigger and bigger roles in the opera productions. When the Opera house does not concede to his demands, the Phantom steals Christine away to his lair in the sewers beneath the Opera House, with Raoul in hot pursuit.

I can only recommend The Phantom of the Opera to fans of the original musical, or fans of musicals in general. That being said the film is excellent at what it is. It retains all of the music and spectacle of the original stage production, while adding all the bells and whistles that a movie adaptation entails. The film is beautiful to look at, and it was obvious that a lot of care and effort went into the production. The chandelier scene alone is worth the price of admission. Performance-wise most of the cast was great. Emmy Rossum, (Who apparently can sing.) is beautiful as Christine, and shines in the role. The stand out performance was given by Gerard Butler as the Phantom. While his singing voice is not ideal for the role, Butler gives a great all-around performance, as a tortured genius who just wants to be loved.

The film is long, nearly two and a half hours. Though it has excellent pacing in certain scenes, it really dragged in parts. It is a difficult task adapting a musical for the big screen, there are some things that work on stage, that don't necessarily work all that well on film, in particular the sewer scenes, and the phantom's lair. The singing seemed to begin very randomly in parts, and actually felt out of place in a few scenes. The cast overall was fairly solid, but there were a few wooden performances. Schumacher seems swept up in the vision of the film, but does not pay enough attention to the end result.

I'm no fan of musicals, but The Phantom of the Opera is an exception for me. The choice of director had me worried at first. I honestly didn't know what to expect from this movie, but Joel "I Ruined Batman" Schumacher came through this time. The Phantom of the Opera is quite enjoyable and incredibly well presented. However the length of the film, combined with the fact that it is a musical will limit it's appeal.

- Will

2004-12-19T19:53:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Winston Churchill

SONG OF THE DAY : The Stills - Of Montreal

LINK OF THE DAY : Gamespot's Best of 2004 Awards

Here feel we but the penalty of Adam,
The seasons' difference, as the icy fang
And churlish chiding of the winter's wind,
Which, when it bites and blows upon my body,
Even till I shrink with cold, I smile.

My buddy Matt, Nug and myself at the Toronto FARK party on Saturday night.

There is no such thing as too much fun, but too much beer is a definite reality. I may have had 2 or 3 pitchers too many, and I'm certainly paying for it today, but it was a FARK party, and my friend's last weekend in Toronto, so why the hell not?

The Minnesota Wrecking Crew killed at Second City. The crew featuring Nug pictured above,(AKA: Everybody's favourite FARK cliche Mustard Man and all around cool guy.) put on an awesome show, everyone really enjoyed it.

Great to finally met fellow Farkers in person, awesome group of people. Thanks for the picture Christie. Hope to see you all again soon... Less beer next time... Though that's not very likely.

Farkers at the BBQ Hut in Chinatown at 4 AM.

I'm sick and slightly hungover...
What a great combo!

- Will

2004-12-14T01:41:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Rather fail with honour than succeed by fraud" - Sophocles

SONG OF THE DAY : DJ Shadow - Blood on the Motorway

LINK OF THE DAY : OWNED!

Thus far, with rough and all-unable pen,
Our bending author hath pursued the story,
In little room confining mighty men,
Mangling by starts the full course of their glory.

I'd give money to homeless people if they all had hilarious signs like this.

Fun times! Computer troubles are abound! Reformatting is always my favourite weekend activity. Now I am just trying to rebuild my system, and get everything back up to into top shape.

Happy Birthday Dad! Met up with my dad for lunch, he is 4X years old, getting up there.

I Spent the rest of the day shopping for Christmas. Shopping sucks, especially during the Christmas rush. Eaton Centre was a zoo. It was a good time though, only because I was with some friends.

Robots are cool, but you knew that. I hope to one day own one, or several. Today Honda unveiled their next generation Asimo robot. Look at that little bastard go!

Prime Minister John Turner

Apparently this guy was Prime Minister of Canada, news to me. John Turner was PM for about 3 months in 1984, after Trudeau and before Mulroney. Never has the word OWNED seemed more appropriate.

I'm still debating whether or not I'll go to this FARK party at Second City this weekend. Beer AND Mustard Man? I think I'm going to go.

I believe that will be all.

- Will

2004-12-06T16:46:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "People are trapped in history and history is trapped in them." - James A. Baldwin

SONG OF THE DAY : K-Os - Papercutz

LINK OF THE DAY : If True, Canadians Should Be Concerned.

We must not make a scarecrow of the law,
Setting it up to fear the birds of prey,
And let it keep one shape, till custom make it
Their perch and not their terror.

Rediscovering the Art of the Shovel and Other Ramblings

Dear first week of December 2004,

Why couldn't you be like first week of December 2003. Gone are the warm streets of Southern Italy and Sicily. Absent is the country side of France zooming by at 120 kilometres per hour. Instead, I am given the chilly overcast that is Toronto this time of year. Then there is the snow. Alas Autumn, we hardly knew thee.

As draining as a 48 hour train ride from Palermo to Paris was, I would have much rather repeated that trip than spending the same 48 hours studying for a history exam. All the while the internet sits there mocking me as I miss out on crazy, inane crap.

I should have expected the snow though, such is Canada. I also should have expected the shovelling it would no doubt entail. You'll pay December 1st to 7th, and you internet as well... As for you... Snow, you'll get what's coming to you.

Sincerely
Will

Now that we've got that out the way onto some random crap.

I broke the 40,000 hits mark. Hooray, but again I pose the question: Who the hell reads this crap? Thanks though. If you visit the site by all means comment. Feedback is always appreciated, be it positive or negative. *Looks at Robotman*

As a proud Canadian I found the above article incredibly troubling if it's the true. Too many Canadians take what we have here for granted, and I for one would rather die than see Canada become an obsolete "protectorate" of the United States. I don't hate the US, or Americans, but I'm Canadian and intend to stay that way. Value what we have here and fight for it if need be.

I'm enjoying the hell out of the new K-Os album Joyful Rebellion. That guy is a musical genius and I'm so glad he's a fellow Canadian. Keep up the good work dude. I highly recommend checking out some of his stuff, I promise it won't disappoint.

I really miss hockey. Come back Leafs... Come back!

In other news, Toronto kicks ass. The more time I spend in the city, and learn about the history, the more faith I have in the future of this great metropolis. Bright times are of us, enjoy the ride.

Well that's enough randomness, I'll leave you with a really cool picture from the movie Alien Vs. Predator.

THE LA LI LU LE LO!?

- Will

2004-11-18T01:09:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Truth is so hard to tell, it sometimes needs fiction to make it plausible." - Francis Bacon

SONG OF THE DAY : DJ Serious and Masta Ace - Again

LINK OF THE DAY : All Things Christie

Thus sometimes hath the brightest day a cloud;
And after summer evermore succeeds
Barren winter, with his wrathful nipping cold:
So cares and joys abound, as seasons fleet.

Meteor shower? No such luck tonight.

Every year around my birthday the Leonid Meteor shower takes place. Quite spectacular, given the proper conditions. Tonight at 4 am was the height of meteor shower. I was out on my back deck trying in vain to see anything, but the clouds weren't co-operating. I did see a few meteors, but the cloud cover made it too difficult to take in the whole show.

What always amazes me about Toronto is how quiet it is at night. Didn't hear a single car while I was outside, eerily quiet. So quiet in fact that I was getting a little creeped out. So I did what any normal person would do, I grabbed my sword. The Iaito is like my security blanket. Any neighbour looking out at me probably would have been weirded out, I cut quite a distinctive figure. Giant rust coloured blanket over my shoulders, blue pajama bottoms that look like MC Hammer pants, with a sheathed katana lazily resting on my shoulder, as I stared blankly into the sky at 4 am.

I was kind of lonely just standing out there by myself so I decided to bring the dog outside with me... Big mistake. Juno sat down in the chair outside, and she immediately smelled an animal of some kind, not just any animal... A skunk. The little bastard was on the lawn right below us, and the dog didn't like it one bit, she started to whine, bark and growl very loudly (4 AM!). With that the skunk raised its little tail and looked like it was about to stink up the place, I managed to grab the dog and run inside before the little asshole sprayed the backyard. Didn't get hit, nor did the dog but it put an end to my meteor watch.

Weather, animals, time of day... All the forces of nature were arrayed against me, I didn't stand a chance.

Even though I'm in the house you can still smell the skunk spray.

Better luck next year.

perturbed.
- Will

2004-11-16T13:31:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained." - Mark Twain

SONG OF THE DAY : The Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar

LINK OF THE DAY : Very Cool Car Commercial

He that is proud eats up himself: pride is
his own glass, his own trumpet, his own chronicle.

Twenty-one... Now what?

I really don't want to write, I've spent the past 3 days researching and writing a giant history essay. But today is my twenty-first birthday.... Worthy of marking the occasion.

This year my full school work schedule does not afford me much time for celebration, but I'm sure I'll get some drinking done with the gang, as well as dinner out with the family.

It will be nice to have some friends and family around this year, I spent my birthday alone, and with complete strangers last year, (albeit in Paris, France)hey, it's not where you are, but the company you keep.

That's about it. 21... wow. Feels the same. Legal to drink in the states, not like it stopped be before.

- A man.

2004-11-10T22:08:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Mankind must put an end to war before war puts an end to mankind." - John F. Kennedy

SONG OF THE DAY : Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around

LINK OF THE DAY : The Battle of Vimy Ridge

We go to gain a little patch of ground
That hath in it no profit but the name.

This time last year I was in the old world. So naturally I've been reminiscing as of late on my experiences the other side of the pond.

Today is Remembrance Day. Last November 11th I was lucky enough to be at Vimy Ridge, just outside of Arras, France on the border with Belgium. If you don't know the story of Vimy, click the LINK OF THE DAY. I was amazed at the gratitude of the locals towards Canadians, which is still felt today, 80 years on. I'm glad Canadians did what they did at Vimy Ridge. Seeing the hundreds of graves of young Canadians makes you proud of their sacrifice... And yet at the same time realize the futility of war.

Europe marks the end of The Great War on the Sunday before November 11th, our remembrance Day. However, the all Canadian staff at the Vimy Ridge memorial have a special ceremony for Canadians visiting on November 11th. It was my honour to be there.

Several days later I found myself in Caen, a small city in Normandy just south of the D-Day landing sites. Again I was taken aback by the immense gratitude I was shown by the locals just because I was Canadian. The streets of Courseulles-sur-Mer were lined with Canadian and French flags, I was very moved by this.

While in the Caen region I took a trip south to Falaise. There was a large Canadian War cemetery there. I was visiting a family member. My 23 year old cousin who died 60 years before I was born, Everett Borgald. I didn't know how to feel when I saw his grave, I didn't know the man but he was family. It was then that the thousands of Canadian graves I'd seen in France all became people to me. They weren't just stone markers with names on them... They were someone's brother, son, cousin, husband. I left two poppy's and a Canadian flag.

We have to remember those that fought for the cause of freedom, they are the reason we are here, living the way of life we so often take for granted.

I will always remember the sacrifices of the people I know, and don't know who lived and died in the service of freedom.

You will not be forgotten.

- Will

2004-11-08T22:14:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." - Mark Twain

SONG OF THE DAY : DJ Serious - Popped

LINK OF THE DAY : I'm a geek... What are you gonna do about it?

He is come to open
The purple testament of bleeding war.

"GET OUT OF MY MIND!"

Four Canucks sat in a dive. A sketchy bar and grill in the corner of a casino in a certain American gambling Mecca. $1.99 for a giant cheese burger and a load of fries, the best deal in town apparently. As they sat waiting for their orders to arrive they discussed plans for later that evening and the subsequent day. They were so busy discussing the latest goings-on that they didn't notice a large man enter the room.

He was by no means a skinny man, but not the typical wide body one will observe in the average American city. He had the look of a man who had just driven a pickup truck a very long ways, and then gambled for 24 hours straight.

Televisions hung in every corner of the room. NASCAR and baseball on every one of them, highly entertaining fair. But the man was not interested in the TV, he placed his order and sat there alone, quite contentedly. Now any normal person would have busied themselves with something, pulled out a newspaper, or watched the television. But the stocky, gambling trucker man just sat there and stared.

A wide eyed, unblinking stare. For nearly 20 minutes the portly man just looked straight ahead without so much as a flinch or a blink.

Soon the Canucks took notice of the man, his unmoving gaze seemingly burning a hole in the wall next to them. Initially believing he had died while waiting for his food, they didn't know what to do. However, after the man quickly scratched his neck, still fascinated by the wall, the Canadians realized he was very much alive; albeit entranced by the wall.

And what was on the wall? Well nothing, it was an off white wall... Nothing special. The man however saw some meaning in it... He was enthralled... Beguiled... Captivated by the wall. The Canucks began to snicker at the man, but the man didn't notice, or didn't care. When the food arrived there was no change in his mood. He just sat, stared and shovelled steak into his mouth.

After his meal, he stared again for a few more minutes at the enchanted wall, his eyes must have hurt from all that looking, but he didn't seem to mind. Then he got up and walked back into the casino never to be seen by the Canucks again.

Somewhere right now, the stocky, gambling trucker man is staring at a wall. What mysteries does the wall contain? Only he knows.

- Will

2004-11-03T15:44:00.000-05:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "What luck for rulers, that men do not think." - Adolf Hitler

SONG OF THE DAY : Muse - Apocalypse Please

LINK OF THE DAY : JohnKerry.com

These late eclipses in the sun and moon portend no good to us.

George W. Bush : Two Term President of The United States... I never thought I'd see the day.

"George Bush, the most unpopular American President in history outside of the United States, has been re-elected. His re-election says something about the intelligence of the majority of Americans, about American arrogance, about American insularity, and Americas obvious desire to openly claim its place in the pantheon of imperial powers."

How are those of us outside of the United States supposed to react to this news?

Thank you to the US citizens with the wisdom to vote for John Kerry, I only wish more of you would have voted.

I for one would like give my congrats to the Republican party of the United States. You've successfully used fear-mongering as an elective tool, well done.

Maybe the sad state of education in the US is a tool. By keeping the masses dumb, you can get re-elected. So that's why they're letting children fall behind in the US.

To me, and I'm sure many others, last nights election result is just baffling. As if the fear-mongering of terrorism, the quagmire in Iraq and the lackluster economy in the US weren't enough... The majority of Americans somehow found it necessary to re-elect Bush.

There is so much more to say about this but I have nothing more to say. I'm honestly at a lack for words I'm so disgusted.

- Will

2004-10-26T15:16:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly." -Winston Churchill

SONG OF THE DAY : K-OS - The Love Song

LINK OF THE DAY : Misinterpreted Movie Titles

Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus; and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs, and peep about
To find ourselves dishonourable graves.
Men at some time are masters of their fates:
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,
But in ourselves, that we are underlings.

I'm not American, but I do know one thing: I don't like George W. Bush and what he's doing with the world.

I was talking with some Americans on a message board about the whole election thing. They were amazed that I cared so much about their election. It does effect Canada, it does effect the world. We have a huge trading relationship with the US, and we share the largest undefended border in the world, so of course it concerns me.

I like John Kerry, I think he'll be an excellent president. If I were in the US I would probably be a Republican, though I would still have voted for Kerry this election. I would have most definitely voted for John McCain had he been the Republican nominee in 2000. But I can't vote... I'm not American, and have no plans to become one.

On November 1st, Sin Radio, my buddy Craig's radio show will be having an Anti-Bush show. Showcasing anti-Bush songs. Not anti-American songs.

Make no mistake, my dislike for Bush does not reflect my view of the US. I have many friends in the United States, and some family too. I've many of them to consider carefully their decision on November 2nd. It affects the world... not just them.

So listen to the show next Monday, 3 PM on SpiritLive. Call in, email, speak up. If you're voting for Bush tell us why, I respect your decision, but ask you to consider it carefully.

- Will

2004-10-14T18:37:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. - Mark Twain

SONG OF THE DAY : Davy DMX - One For The Treble

LINK OF THE DAY : Twitch Films

Set honour in one eye and death i' the other,
And I will look on both indifferently.

"Come on Hans, You're breaking my balls Hans!"

TEAM AMERICA : World Police
8/10 STARS

The creators of South Park, Matt Stone and Trey Parker bring us Team America : World Police, a political knock out blow featuring an all marionette cast. Team America is an all American police force dedicated to ridding the world of terrorism... No matter the cost. As soon as the explosive credits end we find ourselves in Paris. A group of terrorists has a weapon of mass destruction and is planning to destroy the city. After an extended action sequence featuring a puppet fist fight and the destruction of numerous Paris landmarks, Team America is victorious and the terrorists have been stopped. However, an even greater threat is growing. Soon after, the team enlists the help of actor Gary Johnston. Gary is a rising Broadway star, and the team needs an actor good enough to infiltrate the terrorists stronghold in Cairo. He performs his role flawlessly and uncovers the terrorists sinister plan. North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il has been supplying the terrorists with weapons of mass destruction. With the help of left wing Hollywood stars and Michael Moore, the diminutive dictator is hell bent on destroying the world and with it Team America. With the fate of the planet hanging in the balance, it will be up to Gary to save the day.

Team America is definitely not for everyone. If you're a fan of South Park, then this movie will be right up your alley. Much like South Park : Bigger, Longer and Uncut , Stone and Parker up the ante in their never ending quest to skirt the line of good taste. From the opening ballad "AMERICA! F$*# YEAH!" to the numerous slow motion puppet deaths, the film is a riot. I've never seen such graphic portrayals of puppet sex or violence in a movie, and probably never will again. I was amazed at how well the puppets worked in the film. With all the technology available, hyper-realistic puppets could have been used. However, Parker and Stone wanted to go for the classic "Thunderbirds" look, and no effort has been made to hide the strings and wires used to move the marionettes. You are consciously aware that you are watching a puppet movie throughout, and it makes the film even funnier.

The movie doesn't disappoint for the most part. There are a few weak jokes here and there, but for the most part every funny bit is dead on. People may be offended by the broad generalizations and stereotypes in the film, if you're looking for a fair and balanced opinion of the world, you're in the wrong movie. The movie pulls no punches, taking shots at everything from the Kim Jong Il's insane loneliness, to Michael Moore's weight problem. Also, much of the dialogue is ripped right out of Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Bay movies. When the lines are recited by puppets you really see how bad some of the dialogue in those blockbusters really is.

If you object to gratuitous puppet sex, acts of puppet on puppet violence, swearing puppets, drunken puppets or North Korean dictators singing show tunes... Team America is not for you. But if any of this piques your interest... Go see Team America, and have a good laugh while you're at it. The movie will offend you, disgust you and shock you, but you'll love it all the same.

- Will

2004-10-12T22:59:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "It is an infantile superstition of the human spirit that virginity would be thought a virtue and not the barrier that separates ignorance from knowledge." -Voltaire

SONG OF THE DAY : DJ Shadow - Blood On The Motorway

LINK OF THE DAY : Incredible Jet Ride

I grant him bloody,
Luxurious, avaricious, false, deceitful,
Sudden, malicious, smacking of every sin
That has a name.

In Search of a Canadian Identity.

I was born in Canada. I consider myself Canadian. I also love what my nation believes in and stands for. However, recent trends have upset me. The fire that once burned bright in my country is growing dim. It seems that the only national identity my fellow Canadians see is this : We're not the United States.

People seem to pride themselves on this fact. When asked about what it means to be Canadian, most can't come up with anything except "Well we're not the United States."

My history professor showed us the results of a survey done at U of T last year. The survey was taken in response to the Iraq war. It simply asked this.

"Would you fight for Canada?"

and

"Would you fight for Canada if it were attacked?"

The response was an overwhelming No. NO!? On both counts! Now maybe this is just the response of a bunch of young left wing students, but whatever happened to fighting for something you believe in? Isn't this great country of ours worth defending? I'm honestly very distressed by this.

I myself would take up arms to defend this country in an instant. Now maybe this is just the sentiment of a man who's family has a proud history of serving in wartime. I had relatives that have served in The Boer War, The Great War, World War 2 and Korea. I think we can agree that in the majority of these conflicts it was necessary for Canada to fight. Whatever the reasons, my relatives heeded the call, and I would do the same in a second if it came down to that.

If they had taken the same survey in 1880, 1914, 1939, even in the 1950's... The answer would have been a resounding yes.

I don't know why the answer was no. Canada is not a melting pot like the United States. In the U.S. , you become American when you emigrate there, and eventually your original culture is melted away, so to speak. Our nation is multicultural. When people immigrate here, their cultures are nurtured and encouraged. Canada's national identity is that it has no national identity. Our culture, a non-culture. A multicultural mix.

Do you need a national identity to fight for your nation? Yes. And Canada has an identity. I don't know what it is, it's something intangible that I just know is there. I'm primarily of British descent, so identify with the UK and it's problems as well, but I'm a Canadian. My ancestry does define who I am... But doesn't make me value what I have here, in Canada any less.

If I split up the branches of my family, in terms of how long they have been in Canada it works out like this. My grandmother's family has been in Canada since the 1750's. My grandfather's family has been in Canada since the early 20th century. My other grandmother's family is the early 20th century also. My other grandfather and great uncle came to Canada in 1941, in the middle of World War 2. That basically makes me 3rd or 4th generation Canadian for the most part.

The last 50 years has seen Canada's population grow immensely. Mostly due to immigration. Toronto is the most culturally diverse city in the world.

Is it because I was born in Canada that I feel this way? Is because many of the students surveyed were immigrants that they felt this way? Do I value the freedom I have in Canada more? That's the way it seems.

I'm not saying this because I'm anti-immigration. Hell if it weren't for immigration I wouldn't be here. I don't think the issue is about immigrants. I'm sure there were Canadian born students that took that survey. In the end, I just want people to take pride in what we have in Canada. It is worth fighting for.

- Will

2004-10-10T20:26:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "A man who won't die for something is not fit to live." -Martin Luther King, Jr.

SONG OF THE DAY : Muse - Blackout

LINK OF THE DAY : Young Liars

That which hath made them drunk hath made me bold,
What hath quenched them hath given me fire.

Why can't the "Children'd!" guy come out of the wood work and do that to Dubya. He'd be saving the world.

Happy Thanksgiving to my fellow Canadians. Unlike the U.S. our Thanksgiving is held at the correct time, and has not yet become a pre-Christmas corporate shill of a holiday. Bring on the Turkey!

My brother as usual gets his own personal Christmas this year. His birthday is October 11th, which means we always end up celebrating Thanksgiving and his b-day at the same time. Big Thanksgiving meal, cake and presents... Lucky bastard.

University is coming along well. Lots of work and reading, but I'm enjoying it. Go U of Toronto.

And I believe that is it for now. No more writing for the sake of writing.

- Will

2004-10-03T22:26:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Watching George W. Bush speak is like watching a drunken man try to cross an icey street." -Paul Begala

SONG OF THE DAY : Kool and the Gang - Summer Madness

LINK OF THE DAY : Oh those hardcore Republicans...

Our remedies oft in ourselves do lie
Which we ascribe to heaven. The fated sky
Gives us free scope, only doth backward pull
Our slow designs when we ourselves are dull.

The blogging may stop but the world certainly does not.

"I'm going to kill you... No wait changed my mind."

How about that debate? Kerry won and everyone knows that, but really... to what end? His victory will be meaningless if he doesn't win the election, it's a good step though.

Paul Martin apparently loves George Bush.

Canadian Parliament resumes on Tuesday. Now let's see if shit can actually get done with a Liberal Minority. Enough politics though, onto the exciting stuff. VOLCANOES AND ROCKET SHIPS! YEEEE HAAAAAA!

As people are no doubt aware, our good friend Mount St. Helens in Washington State began rumbling late last week. Geologists are expecting a fairly sizable eruption. Nothing on the scale of the 1980 blast, which killed 57 people and blew half the mountain off. And since there is no visible threat to human life, I'd like to say I think this is damn cool. Go nature!

Spaceship One will, if all goes according to plan win the Ansari X Prize tomorrow morning. Funded by Microsoft's Paul Allen, built by legendary aerospace designer Burt Rutan and sponsored by Richard Branson of Virgin the Spaceship One project has already flown two successful manned missions to the edge of space. The first commercial enterprise to do so. If they do it again tomorrow, they will win the Ansari X Prize : $10 million dollars.

One of two Canadian teams, The da Vinci Project will most likely be the second successful team. This is the birth of the commercialization of space, could be good, could be bad. I'm definitely looking forward to the prospect of going into space in my lifetime.

- Will

2004-09-27T23:26:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY :"When angry, count to four; when very angry, swear." -Mark Twain

SONG OF THE DAY : Main Theme - OldBoy

LINK OF THE DAY : Only in the US would someone suggest nuking a hurricane to get rid of it.

Is this a dagger which I see before me,
The handle toward my hand? Come, let me clutch thee.
I have thee not, and yet I see thee still.
Art thou not, fatal vision, sensible
To feeling as to sight?

You sir are an asshole. But I'm stating the obvious.

Dear Bill O'Reilly

Why won't you ever learn? You've finally made it onto my page. I shouldn't even be writing this, but here I am... And there you are. I'm doing you a favour by even writing about you.

Now I know that you, as a member of the media, must be politically unbiased. However , since just last year you were a registered Republican voter. You also work for a little company called FOX News, and we all know how fair their reporting is. Believe me, it's not your political views I take issue with: it's the fact that you comment and interview under the auspices that you are in fact politically unbiased. You claim to be something your not, and that sir is called hypocrisy.

Sorry Bill, I'm ranting again. Perhaps I'm wrong about you. After all, I think a man who was a senior correspondent for a fine program like Inside Edition, must know a little bit about journalistic integrity. Your job is to report and interview without letting your personal views interfere, any good journalist would do this... As you no doubt already know.

So why am I writing this letter? Well I've taken issue with a few of the things you've said as of late. I make no claims that I'm politically fair, this is a blog after all, not a major network. I, like you, have my opinions. I'm entitled to express them here, because that's what a blog is : One giant opinion piece. Apparently people like to hear your opinions, and that's fine; but quit calling it journalism when it's actually just a veiled opinion piece. Just get a blog, and opinionate there if it will make you happy.

Wow... You sure do have some choice words for Canada.

"Now if your government harbours these two deserters, doesn't send them back . . . There will be a boycott of your country which will hurt your country enormously. France is now feeling that sting."
-- April 27, 2004, on air, after two U.S. soldiers fled to Canada to avoid serving in Iraq

God forbid a country is not in favour with the U.S.. If you have such an issue with France, why don't you go bomb them too? Could it be that the soldiers that deserted might have had a change of heart? Maybe they thought that blowing shit up isn't always the best course of action if you don't really have a good (or true!) reason.

"I got nothing against the Canadian people, but in the last few years you've swung dramatically to the left. And we in America have some questions about that."
-- April 30, to Canadian Press

Question away my Southern brothers! I have my own issues with the Liberal party, but my opinion is not at issue Mr. O'Reilly. We have moved a little bit to the left, but I think that "swinging dramatically to the left" you describe is more a case of the U.S. drooping perilously to the right. Since when was social moderation a bad thing? We'd still be burning people at the stake for witchcraft if we hadn't moderated a little.

"If you had us up there to balance CNN, you'd give people a choice, they'd hear other points of view. Not conservative points of view -- this is not a conservative network."
-- April 30, to Canadian Press

This so-called Liberal media bias you refer to is just untrue. As an outside observer, and former CNN junkie I know what to believe and not to believe on the network. I don't need to hear Neo-Conservatives on FOX News reporting about how liberally biased CNN is, I want them to report the news to me. Be the big man FOX News! Give me the news without a conservative spin or quit complaining about the other guys. You can't have it both ways.

"The truth is that the U.S.A. has freed more human beings in 230 years than the rest of the world combined. France has freed almost no one. Ditto Canada . . . I object to the anti-American foreign press and bums like Chirac in France and Chrétien in Canada."
-- July 8, on air

Oh Mr. O'Reilly, you're not very well informed. I'm not denying the great efforts and sacrifices made by the United States in both World Wars, the Korean War, The Gulf War and various other conflicts. I'd like to note though, that the U.S. did very little in these conflicts until it's interests were directly in jeopardy.

At the outbreak of World War One, the United States were neutral. The government did provide supplies, equipment and support to Britain, France and their allies (Canada among them), but let them fight the war on their own for 3 years! It was only when Germany threatened to reinstate its policy of unrestricted U-Boat warfare, (Something that would have jeopardized the U.S's commercial shipping interests) and the threat of a German-Mexican alliance(Endangering the U.S. proper of course), that the U.S. declared war on Germany... In 1917.

Again in World War Two, the United States provided support for the allies. The Lends Lease act was a great help. But the U.S. still remained legally neutral, for 3 years. While Britain, Canada, Russia and others fought the Nazi war machine head on. In October of 1941 the destroyer USS Reuben James was sunk by a German U-Boat, but even then the U.S. did not enter the war. It took Pearl Harbour to get you guys into the war. After all the 3000 people killed in Hawaii, were worth more than the 115 on the Reuben James.

The Korean War. We were all fighting the great beast of Communism. Spearheaded by the US, the war was aimed at keeping the South Korean puppet government in place, and two spread American style democracy. As we all know that conflict worked out well.

And ahhh the first Gulf War. Of course, eager to protect it's interests, the U.S. was eager to look out for it's two key allies in the region. Israel, a bastion of democracy in the middle-east : definitely good for the United States. And of course, Saudi Arabia, with their oil. Given the close relationship between the Bush and Saudi family, U.S. airforce planes were sent to Saudi Arabia 4 days after Iraq invaded Kuwait. However, it would take 6 months for the conflict-proper to begin, as the Iraqi military raped and ravaged their way through Kuwait with weapons and equipment paid for by the U.S. Only when SCUD missiles were positioned within striking distance of Israel and Saudi Arabia did the U.S. go in.

If by 'Freeing more human beings than anyone else combined' you mean assassinating democratically elected leaders and installing puppet dictators more in tune with U.S. policy, and carpet bombing, napalming and irradiating civilians in Vietnam and elsewhere... By all means call it that. The benevolent Americans freeing the world! SAVE US! SAVE US ALL!

Maybe the foreign press, and other world leaders wouldn't hold this opinion of the U.S. if you stopped pursuing this aggressive, unilateral foreign policy. Which world leader ever had a bad thing to say about Clinton? Not many did, because he was a multilateralist, which is seems most democrats are. I don't like people who are anti-American. I don't like Chirac, and I didn't like Chretien. I call many U.S. citizens friends. Why can't you see that when we question what you do, it's not necessarily out of anti-Americanism, but more because we're your friends, and want what's best for you and everyone else.

I can't write anymore, I don't want to waste anymore of my time on this.

Bill O'Reilly you need some sense punched into you. I'm not the biggest fan of Michael Moore, but he had a good point when he debated you at the Democratic National Convention. He asked you if you would send your own child to fight in Iraq given what you know now. You said you would go yourself.

If you don't want your child to fight knowing what you know... Why would you ask someone to send their own child? Or support someone who would ask the same thing?

All ranted out.

- Will Perkins

2004-09-21T01:20:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." - Buddha

SONG OF THE DAY : The Stills - Gender Bombs

LINK OF THE DAY : FAS.ORG

And oftentimes, to win us to our harm,
The instruments of darkness tell us truths,
Win us with honest trifles, to betray s
In deepest consequence.

The end of the world : One man's perspective.

IT'S OVER!

Well the film festival is over for another year. Went to see a lot of great movies, and a few "unique" movies. Here's what I saw, in chronological order.

Ghost in the Shell 2 : Innocence
House of Flying Daggers
Calvaire
Kung Fu Hustle
OldBoy
Kontroll
The Brood
Saw

GITS 2, Calvaire, Kontroll and Saw were all Midnight Madness movies. While the content may be suspect, particularly in the case of Calvaire(Deliverance meets Misery in Belgium), the experience is always great. You're with hundreds of other hardcore movie fans, and you tend to meet some cool people.

House of Flying Daggers and Kung Fu Hustle were both Press Screenings. I had intended to go to another press screening... Zebraman to be exact, but it was too early and I missed it. You always see the same group of people at the press screenings, various internet, TV, radio and newspaper critics. Caught a glimpse of Roger Ebert before I went into Kung Fu Hustle, and met Danny Glover on my way out.

OldBoy was the only normal evening screening I went to. Awesome movie from South Korea, check it out if you can. Any attempt I make at explaining the plot would fail... I'm going to attempt to review it at some point.

Finally, David Cronenberg's The Brood. This 1979 cult horror movie, starring Oliver Reed and many familiar Canadian actors was something else. It was the first old school Cronenberg flick I'd seen. It was interesting to say the least. Actor/Director Don McKellar presented the movie and had lots of cool stuff to say about the movie and it's influences on him.

Now the Toronto Film Festival isn't all about movies... Well yes it is, but with all the films being shown there are quite a few celebrities in town.

Celebrities = Ritzy parties with open-bar's held nightly.

I went to one such party. The Premiere Magazine party. Open-bar, free Cuban Cigars, X-box's with flat screen monitors everywhere. How could you go wrong? Cuba Gooding Jr., Sigourney Weaver, Richard Roeper, Eric from That 70's Show (Topher Grace) and K-OS were there, to name a few. I met some of them, and a good time was had by all... As you can see in these pictures.
Everyone was quite drunk.

Now I have to wait another year for the 2005 Film Festival. CURSE YOU TIME!!! *SHAKES FIST*

- Will

2004-09-13T01:57:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "So, where's the Cannes Film Festival being held this year?" - Christina Aguilera

SONG OF THE DAY : Line and Sinker - Billy Talent

LINK OF THE DAY : The new home of The Log of a Gamer

Tis now the very witching time of night,
When churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out
Contagion to this world: now could I drink hot blood,
And do such bitter business as the day
Would quake to look on.

No has made fun of Kenny G since he joined G-Unit.

Moved The Log of a Gamer to the Gamespot Journals area. I figured it would fit in better there.

I start at the University of Toronto, Tuesday. Twenty years old and finally getting around to university... yep that's me. I'm doing an English-History major, which means lots of writing. It also means it will be damn interesting, they were always my best subjects.

Class from 6pm to 9pm. I'll finish just in time to see the 3rd period of the World Cup Hockey final. Canada vs Finland. I wish I could go to the game, but the tickets sold out months ago. Then I have a TO Film Fest midnight madness screening of Calvaire. I have no clue what it's about, but I'm sure it will be interesting.

The main reason for even writing this post was to show off my Kenny G-Unit photoshop, the idea came up in buzzed conversation the other night. Also I wanted to mention the Log of a Gamer thing.

Vado Itum Deus, Amicum.

-Will

2004-09-10T22:53:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "If you have ten thousand regulations you destroy all respect for the law." - Winston Churchill

SONG OF THE DAY : The Crystal Method - Name Of The Game

LINK OF THE DAY : THX 1138

Rightly to be great
Is not to stir without great argument,
But greatly to find quarrel in a straw
When honour's at the stake.

Well it's that time again. The Toronto International Film Festival 2004 is upon us.

I've already seen a few cool movies, with many more to come. Accidentally saw the first 15 minutes of the new Neve Campbell movie When Will I Be Loved, 5 minutes of which are her naked in the shower. It was a good mistake to make. After that I saw Ghost in the Shell 2 : Innocence, sequel to the popular anime film from the mid 90's. Then tonight I went to a press screening of House of Flying Daggers, Zhang Yimou's follow up to HERO. Cool flicks I thought.

But before any of this, I saw Resident Evil 2! Underwhelming, but fun.

REVIEW
RESIDENT EVIL : APOCALYPSE
6/10 STARS

Alright... I'll watch your movie... But only if you put the gun down.

Milla Jovovich returns as Alice in Resident Evil : Apocalypse, sequel to the surprisingly successful Resident Evil. Both films have been adapted from the popular Capcom video game series of the same name. Apocalypse starts off right where the first film ended, having survived the Raccoon Forest incident Alice finds herself in downtown Raccoon City, now seemingly devoid of anything living. There are plenty of zombies roaming the streets though. As it turns out the mega-conglomerate Umbrella Corporation accidentally unleashed the T-Virus on the unsuspecting citizens of Raccoon City. The T-Virus is a bio-weapon, it re-animates dead cells; which invariable results in hordes of zombies. What would a zombie movie be without a rag-tag band of heavily armed survivors? Not much of a zombie movie. A mysterious Umbrella scientist, Dr Ashford (Jared Harris) enlists the help of the survivors in an effort to find his young daughter. Jill Valentine (Sienna Guillory) a beautiful and hard-as-nails cop. Carlos Olivera an abandoned Umbrella mercenary. Terri Morales (Sandrine Holt) a TV weather reporter, and L.J. (Mike Epps) a wise-cracking criminal. Alice and company fight off wave after wave of zombies throughout the city in their search for Dr. Ashford's daughter. All the while the group is being stalked by Umbrella's ultimate bio-weapon: Nemesis, a hulking, mutant behemoth armed with a minigun and rocket launcher. Things get interesting to say the least.

Resident Evil : Apocalypse is better than it's predecessor, but that isn't really saying much. The film is more akin to the Capcom video games, which fans of the series will appreciate. The movie doesn't revolutionize the zombie-movie genre by any means, but it's still a fun ride. I did actually find myself caring about what happened to some of the characters, because for the most part they were generally likeable. Milla Jovovich, having played Alice twice now, really knows her character and does a good job with the role. Mike Epps as L.J., the film's comic relief will have you laughing throughout. The movie doesn't take itself too seriously, so you can laugh at many of the ridiculous and implausible situations the characters find themselves in. This is a zombie movie after all, you're going to have to suspend your disbelief right from the get-go.

Almost all of the movie takes place at night, this can make it difficult to make out exactly what's going on in some scenes. This problem was especially present in the fight scenes. The shaky cameras combined with the blindingly fast martial arts (Yes, karate works on zombies) make it hard enough to tell friend from foe, and the darkness just compounds the problem. The script was written by Paul W.S. Anderson, director of the first Resident Evil, and it's actually pretty good for what it is. Anderson was busy directing Alien vs Predator, so this time the directorial reigns go to Alexander Witt. Witt succeeds with Apocalypse, where the first one failed... Actually making you care to a certain degree. The characters had some time to develop, instead of becoming zombie fodder instantly. No effort was made to disguise the city of Toronto where the film was shot, the cities famous landmark the CN Tower is seen in 2 scenes but never shown again in distant shots of the city. Toronto's City Hall also stood in for Raccoon City Hall. Toronto is the sixth largest city in North America, give people some credit.

If you liked the first film, or you're a fan of the games you'll enjoy this movie. If you didn't see the first one you'll probably be at a loss, though it's not too hard to follow, just a typical zombie flick. Didn't like the first one? Don't see the sequel, it's more of the same. Resident Evil : Apocalypse is a fun zombie movie, that doesn't take itself too seriously. You're in for a good time if you go in with low expectations.

2004-09-06T22:15:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Wit is educated insolence." - Aristotle

SONG OF THE DAY : The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

LINK OF THE DAY : Official Toronto Film Fest Website

You sign your place and calling, in full seeming,
With meekness and humility; but your heart
Is cramm'd with arrogancy, spleen, and pride.

Las Vegas was great. A good time was had by all.

I broke even playing blackjack, roulette and the slots. Some of my friends did well, others... not so good.

Between walking the strip, hitting the casinos and bars we barely had a moment to spare. We needed to take a break every once in a while just because the brutal desert heat is enough to drain the life out of you.

And now some pictures.

Caesar's Palace

Jeff, Craig and Will below the 2/3rds size Eiffel Tower in Vegas.

Paris Hotel and Casino

Will vs The Burger

The Bite Offensive

Taking a break to give thumbs up

More at some point.

- Will

2004-08-29T23:52:00.000-04:00

LAS VEGAS !

I'm in Las Vegas all this week. Fun end of summer trip with friends. Should be a great time.

If I die avenge my death... and or clone me... so that my clone can avenge my death.

20000 HITS !!! Nice.

As you can see I've gone over my bandwidth limit so none of my images work. I'll get you for that Rogers!

To Vegas I go.

-Will

2004-08-23T18:48:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Whatsoever that be within us that feels, thinks, desires, and animates, is something celestial, divine, and, consequently, imperishable." - Aristotle

SONG OF THE DAY : K-OS - Heaven Only Knows

LINK OF THE DAY : Toogle : Try It.

Hear me more plainly.
I have in equal balance justly weigh'd
What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we suffer,
And find our griefs heavier than our offences.

She's so talented. *Vomits in terror*

Wow... It's been a while since I updated the old bloggy. I kept getting hits during my absence which amazed me. I'm averaging about 250 hits a day, much more than I ever expected to get. I'm led to believe that between 10-20 of those hits are me visiting the site off and on throughout the day. That leaves about 230 hits unaccounted for. If you visit the site, comment or sign the guestbook, it's much appreciated. I'd like to think my ramblings aren't falling on deaf ears... OR since my ramblings are in text form... Blind eyes.

As predicted, Alien Vs Predator was mediocre at best. So much potential wasted. I have one correction to make though, the film was rated PG not PG-13. For shame 20th Century Fox, you've bastardized two of cinemas most enduring monsters.

I went to a showing of HERO last week. Though I'd already seen it on DVD, it was a real treat to see it on the big screen. The film stars Jet Li, Donnie Yen and Zhang Ziyi among others. Very impressive looking film, with good action to boot. HERO kicks Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon's ass in my opinion. Look for a review on Thursday.

I also saw Open Water. It's basically a shark movie, about two people who accidentally get left behind after a scuba diving trip in the Caribbean. It's the feel good movie of the year. Actually it was quite disturbing.

The summer is wasting away, but I think I've made the most of it. I've found a good balance between seeing movies, social alcoholism, working out, and chilling. It would have been an even better summer if the weather had been better. Don't think you won't pay Mother Nature!

Some friends of mine just got back from an incredible trip in SouthEast Asia... Every story I hear makes me more and more jealous. Must go travelling again.

My TV is stuck on CITY TV right now, due to the channel buttons breakage. Thankfully the mute button does work, and since Friends is on this is a very good thing. Am I the only person that never watched that show? Watching something with no volume really shows you how bad some actors are. I wish I had gone to the Jennifer Aniston school of acting.

- Will

2004-08-12T20:47:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Television knows no night. It is perpetual day. TV embodies our fear of the dark, of night, of the other side of things." - Jean Baudrillard

SONG OF THE DAY : Beastie Boys - An Open Letter To NYC

LINK OF THE DAY : Bush Explains Sovereignty.

My grief lies all within,
And these external manners of lament
Are merely shadows to the unseen grief
That swells with silence in the tortured soul.

As I sit here watching wannabe celebrity pugilists go at it on CELEBRITY BOXING 2, I wonder why? Why would these washed up stars do this? The fact that they have no career isn't embarrassment enough? At the same time I look forward to another battle of the titans. Tomorrow I'm seeing a 10 AM screening of Alien Vs Predator.

Why is it so early tomorrow? I don't know. There were no advanced screenings of the film... Which does not bode well. Usually when the studio senses a stinker, they don't let the critics see it early. Such will probably be the case with AvP, but I'll see it anyways. Paul W.S. Anderson can make cool movies... Ok one. Event Horizon... It wasn't bad. Everything else he's done, is horrible, in my opinion. This is the man who brought us Resident Evil after all.

I for one relish the chance to see the Aliens from Aliens and the Predators from Predator go at it. How can you go wrong? Well there are lots of ways. For one you can rate the movie PG-13. Considering that it's based off two very hard R rated franchises, you'd think they'd go for the R rating. That's another thing studios do when they sense a stinker, you let all the stupid 13 year olds go see a less violent edit of the film, and thusly make more money.

I may or may not review it. We'll see.

Should be interesting.

- Will

2004-08-08T15:13:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "What you have to do is enter the fiction of America, enter America as fiction. It is, indeed, on this fictive basis that it dominates the world." - Jean Baudrillard

SONG OF THE DAY : Sloan - She Says What She Means

LINK OF THE DAY : Shades of Gray : Funny Film

His sword, death's stamp,
Where it did mark, it took; from face to foot
He was a thing of blood, whose every motion
Was timed with dying cries

Having a very lazy weekend. Other than clubbing at Piccadilly Circus on Thursday night... I've done absolutely nothing. I didn't work, I didn't go out, just totally vegged out and watched a few movies. Good times.

Among the films I either rented, downloaded or watched on TV were 3 I really liked. 21 Grams, Heat and The Eiger Sanction. Heat is another great film by Michael Mann, with Al Pacino and Robert Deniro... Awesome movie. The Eiger Sanction is a classic Clint Eastwood flick... He plays a mountain climbing assassin, yes you heard me.
21 Grams was a very cool, but very depressing movie. Sean Penn and Benicio Del Toro are awesome actors.

On the topic of movies, I've added a new feature for this blog. I've archived all my movie reviews. Any movies I review in the future will be on that page. Look to the right of the page and you will see MOVIE REVIEWS under the Sections category.

It was a pain in the ass to create that page, but it was worth it.

And I believe I'm spent.

- Will

2004-08-05T19:02:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Why pay a dollar for a bookmark? Why not use the dollar for a bookmark? -Steven Spielberg

SONG OF THE DAY : Muse - Hysteria

LINK OF THE DAY : Comingsoon.net

Enjoy the honey-heavy dew of slumber:
Thou hast no figures nor no fantasies
Which busy care draws in the brains of men;
Therefore thou sleepst so sound.

REVIEW
COLLATERAL
9/10 STARS

Tom Cruise is Vincent. A ruthless hitman in Collateral.

In Collateral Jamie Foxx plays Max, a veteran Los Angeles cabbie. Max is very good at what he does. He knows LA like the back of his hand, and will get you where you need to go on time. It's a normal enough day, Max starts his shift and picks up his first customer of the night, Annie (Jada Pinkett Smith). Annie is an attorney working on a huge case, she's obviously in need of a break though, and Max provides some respite with an enjoyable conversation. Intrigued by Max, she leaves him her business card hoping to continue their conversation in the future. No sooner does he drop of Annie when his next customer jumps in the taxi. Vincent (Tom Cruise) is in real estate, just in Los Angeles for the night, closing a big deal... Or so he says. He asks Max if he can hire the cab for the night. Max normally doesn't hire out the taxi, but Vincent only has five stops to make, so the six hundred dollars he gives him is all the convincing Max needs. Soon enough they arrive at their first stop, Vincent goes up to an apartment while Max waits for him in the alley behind the building. Max is minding his own business, eating a sandwich when out of nowhere the body of a man crashes onto the roof of his cab. Vincent returns to find Max in a state of panic, and it's soon revealed that Vincent killed the man that fell on the cab. Apparently Vincent is not in real estate, he is in actuality an ex-special forces, hired assassin. Vincent has four more stops to make and Max is now his hostage. It's going to be a long night.

Collateral is director Michael Mann in top form. I was drawn in to this film right from the get-go. The film is intense at times, funny other times, and brutally violent throughout. That's not to say the film is a pure action piece, far from it. There are many action sequences but some of the films best moments are just Cruise and Foxx talking in the cab, both of whom are excellent in the film. For once in a film starring Tom Cruise I didn't look at his character and say "Oh it's Tom Cruise playing a character.", I looked and I saw Vincent, a cold-blooded, charismatic hit-man. This is one of the strongest performances I've seen Cruise give. Jamie Foxx is no slouch in the film either. As was the case with Cruise, Foxx's performance convinced me he was the character, Max the ordinary cab driver put in extraordinary circumstances. Based on his strong performance in Collateral I look forward to seeing Jamie Foxx portray Ray Charles in his next film. Mark Ruffalo who plays the detective tracking the mysterious trail of murders is very good as well. The part was originally intended for Val Kilmer, and I would be curious to see what the film would have been like with him instead, but Ruffalo makes it work. As with all of Mann's films, the criminals and the police are not bumbling amateurs. They are all professional people who are good at what they do, and the actors in Collateral do a great job making you aware of this fact.

Ever present in Collateral is Michael Mann's signature visual flare. Shot on digital video cameras, the picture is crisp and clear even in the darkest scenes. What I really liked about the film was the up close and personal feeling it had. The audience will feel like they're right there riding in the cab with Max and Vincent. The DV cameras, and particularly Mann's shooting style give it that feel. In the tradition of previous Mann ventures like Thief and Miami Vice, Collateral has that dark streets/bright lights mood to it. The ever present glow of lights in LA give the film a really gritty atmosphere. One of the standout scenes in the film takes place in an Asian trance music club. The tension building up to the scene is palpable, and once the action begins you'll be on the edge of your seat. The chaos and confusion caused by this shoot out in the club make you feel like you are there, not knowing what's going to happen next. My only real qualm with the film are some of the soundtrack choices. The music is great for the most part, as you would expect from the man that brought us Miami Vice, but suddenly in the middle of the film the band Creed breaks in and totally takes you out of the scene. Maybe it was just me, I'm not a big fan of Creed.

If you want a taught, well made action-thriller, Collateral is definitely the movie to see. It's well acted and executed. The two leads in the film give the performances of their careers thus far, that alone makes the film worth seeing. It is a bit on the violent side, and not cartoony, funny violence. It's brutal, no holds barred, bone breaking violence. The violence does make sense in the context of the story though, and is not gratuitous at all. Will Cruise finally get his Oscar for this role? Maybe. He's very likely to be nominated for it. Collateral is a smart, entertaining movie and there should be nothing stopping you from seeing it.

- Will

2004-07-30T18:23:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : We would like to live as we once lived, but history will not permit it. - John F. Kennedy

SONG OF THE DAY : The Chemical Brothers - Star Guitar

LINK OF THE DAY : Funny Bush and Kerry Cartoon.

The man's undone forever; for if Hector break not his
neck i' the combat, he'll break't himself in
vain-glory.

REVIEW
THUNDERBIRDS
6.5/10 STARS

Boy band rejects? Nope, International Rescue.

Thunderbirds are GO! Bill Paxton and Ben Kingsley star in Jonathan Frakes' update of the classic 1960's Supermarionation TV series. Jeff Tracy (Paxton) is a billionaire, retired astronaut and the leader of International Rescue. From their secret island in the south Pacific, Tracy and his four sons are ready to respond to disasters anywhere in the world at any time, thanks to their incredible vehicles - The Thunderbirds! Straight off their latest mission, the Tracy's head home for some well needed rest. Joining them is the fifth Tracy son, Alan (Brady Corbet). As the youngest Tracy, he's constantly living in the shadow of his father and older brothers. He only wants to help out, but his father refuses to let him participate until he finishes school.

We're soon introduced to all the characters at International Rescue. Brains (Anthony Edwards) the resident genius and social reject. His son Fermat (Soren Fulton), seemingly a clone of his father. The groundskeeper, his wife and daughter Tintin. And of course no Thunderbirds movie would be complete without Lady Penelope (Sophia Myles) and her faithful chauffeur Parker (Ron Cook). All is not as peaceful as it seems though. A mysterious submarine, captained by telekinetic genius The Hood (Ben Kingsley) and his band of British cronies, has been spying on International Rescue, and they've discovered the location of their secret island. The Hood wastes little time putting his sinister plan into action. Using a missile to cripple Thunderbird 5, he forces the Tracy clan to embark on an ill-fated rescue attempt to the space station. Seizing control of the island in their absence, The Hood ends up stranding the members of International Rescue on the damaged Thunderbird 5. It's now up to Alan Tracy, Fermat and Tintin to rescue the rescuers, with a little help from Brains and Lady Penelope.

The film is good for what it is - a kids movie. Taking a page from Spy Kids, Thunderbirds is yet another outing in the kids-with-cool-gadgets genre. That being said, I had a good time with the film. As a fan of the original series I would have rather seen more of a focus on the adults. I didn't find the three main characters (the kids) to be very interesting characters. However because it's a kids film, it works. All of the kids in attendance seemed to love it. Though most of those kids probably enjoyed Scooby-Doo, so maybe that's not saying much. The cast was good for the most part. Bill Paxton did what he could with a relatively small part as the Tracy family patriarch, but some of his lines seemed a bit forced. Ben Kingsley was very good, as would be expected. He elevates The Hood from cartoonish super-villain, to real life megalomaniac. The gorgeous Sophia Myles is very good as Lady Penelope, and Ron Cook is hilarious as Parker. Myles and Cook steal the show. As for the child actors, they could have been better, no real standout performances from them.

The whole film is an homage to the original series. Numerous in-jokes and allusions to puppets are made through out the film. It also looks very good. It has that colourful not-to-distant future feel, and it really works with this movie. The CGI was amazing. The Thunderbirds all look very impressive, but at the same time realistic. I was glad to see that they stayed true to the original design of the vehicles, rather than reimagining them like most new movies would. From a technical standpoint, it's a very slick film.

Is Thunderbirds worth seeing if you don't have kids? Only if you're a fan of the original series. If you are a fan of the original series you might be disappointed because of the adolescent focus of the film, but everything you loved about the TV series is still there. If you have kids, then this is definitely one to take them to. Thunderbirds has all the flare of the classic series, mixed with some Spy Kids-esque scenarios. The film is meant to be a 'fun-for-all-ages' kind of film, and it succeeds at that.

2004-07-29T02:17:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : "Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." - Douglas Adams

SONG OF THE DAY : The Hives - No Pun Intended

LINK OF THE DAY : New THX1138 Trailer. Brilliant.

I have tremor cordis on me: my heart dances;
But not for joy; not joy. This entertainment
May a free face put on, derive a liberty
From heartiness, from bounty, fertile bosom,
And well become the agent; 't may, I grant;
But to be paddling palms and pinching fingers,
As now they are.

It actually happened... I've now been blogging for one year straight. So much has changed in that time. I'm a completely different person, and I've experienced so much since July 29th 2003.

It's very cool to look back. Even though it's only been a year, I can see a visible change in my thinking and writing. Very humbling actually.

Some highlights of the past year for me, blogwise have been.

My relationship and subsequent break up with she who shall remain nameless. Something that has been stricken from the record of this blog... though I did keep a copy.

Covering the 2003 Toronto Film Fest, both the experience and the reviews.

Blogging during my Euro Trip, and being able to share it with everyone back home and abroad.

Posting inane and strange tangents that my mind goes off on.

Sharing all the crazy videos, news stories and trailers that I your humble narrator have stumbled upon in my web travels.

Arguing about the stupidest things with people that I've never personally met.

And most recently reviewing movies on a regular basis for Empiremovies.com. Expect to see Thunderbirds and Collateral reviews in the subsequent days.

It can only get better from here. Expect in depth 2004 Toronto Film Fest coverage. As well more personally qualms and problems will be discussed, I guarantee. Hopefully I'll be able to blog my next big trip as well... in the interim Las Vegas will have to suffice.

To anyone and everyone who has ever read the page, thanks for reading. Although blogs are meant to be a personal thing for the most part, it's always nice to get feedback, positive and negative. *Glares at Robotman*

So until next time, keep watching the skiis... I mean skies.

- Will

2004-07-22T21:52:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : The secret to film is that it's an illusion. -George Lucas

SONG OF THE DAY : Radiohead - Paranoid Android

LINK OF THE DAY : Latchkey.org

Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak,
Whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.

REVIEW
CATWOMAN
2/10 STARS
By Will Perkins

Can Halle Berry in skin tight leather save Catwoman? No, nothing can.

In "Catwoman", Halle Berry stars as Patience Phillips, a shy and reserved artist working as a graphic designer for the behemoth cosmetics company Hedare. Patience is a meek woman, who seems to always be apologizing to people for her own existence. Her mundane life is in for a change the day she spots a mysterious cat outside her apartment window. Seeing that the cat is stranded, she climbs out onto the ledge to rescue it, instead she herself becomes stranded. Enter Tom Lone(Benjamin Bratt) a clean-cut Police Detective. Thinking Patience is suicidal and about to jump he begins trying to talk her down from the ledge and ends up rescuing her just as she's about to fall. Being the fine upstanding Police Officer he is, Tom is compelled to ask Patience out for coffee. She's unsure at first, but spurred on by her man-starved friend Sally(Alex Borstein), she accepts his offer. Patience is a busy woman though, George Hedare(Lambert Wilson) has put Patience in charge of the ad campaign for Beau-Line, Hedare's breakthrough anti-aging product. George Hedare is not an easy man to work for though, he and his aging supermodel wife Laurel (Sharon Stone) are constantly fighting, and this does not improve his mood towards his employees. Unsatisfied with her previous design for the ad campaign he gives Patience until midnight to come up with a new one or be fired. She manages to come up with a new design, but on her way to delivering it to her boss she overhears a conversation between Laurel and Hedare's top scientist. It turns out Beau-Line has horrible side effects if not used on a regular basis, it's the ultimate must have cosmetic product. Of course, she is discovered while eaves-dropping, and after a short lived chase is killed by Laurel's bodyguards. When her body washes up onto shore, the mysterious cat she tried to rescue on her windowsill reappears and coughs on her. In the process Patience is imbued with all the powers and senses of a cat, and before we know it she's jumping from roof-top to roof-top out for revenge in her S&M Catwoman suit.

Catwoman is frighteningly awful film, I use the term film loosely because this is a mess of a movie. I found my mouth hanging wide open at times due to the sheer idiocy of some of the scenarios put forth by Catwoman. Halle Berry is a good actress, she deserved her Academy Award, but she's not very good in this movie. She obviously had fun playing the part, but it just doesn't work. It's like an inside joke, the people involved are entertained, but everyone else has no idea what's going on. Halle does look very good in her Catsuit, but the novelty of it wares off as soon as you realize that you have to sit in the theater for another hour after that. Benjamin Bratt does an okay job as Patience's love interest, and the detective assigned to track down Catwoman. At times the film feels like a really lame romantic comedy, as Bratt and Berry exchange horrible written dialogue. Did they realize what they were saying? Or was it intended to be horribly written? That will be a mystery for the ages. Sharon Stone hams it up in her role as an evil former supermodel with dreams of world domination through cosmetics products. Perhaps Stone was the only one who realized what a stinker this film was going to be, and decided to have fun with the part. Lambert Wilson plays a pompous bastard so well, as we found out in the last two Matrix films, where he played The Merovingian, not much of a stretch for him here. Perhaps the only, truly good performance in the film is that of Midnight, the mysterious Egyptian Mau cat that imbues Patience with her powers. However, the cat is CGI half the time so perhaps the artists should get the credit.

If only there were some positive aspects to this film, I find myself at a complete loss when I try to think of any redeeming qualities. The frantic pace and editing of all the fight scenes in the film make them nearly impossible to watch or make sense of, you'll literally have no idea what's going on. Also, Catwoman's music is one of it's most annoying elements of the movie. Nearly every scene is punctuated with a lame rhythm and blues score, made all the more ridiculous by the constant Oooh's and Yeah's of some Mariah Carey-esque singer. The special effects would have been good 2 years ago, but they're just not believable. If you've seen Spider-man 2, you don't really notice the effects much, this is due to the seamless transition between CGI Spider-man and Tobey-Maguire-in-a-suit Spider-man. In Catwoman, the transition is anything but seamless. You can tell the instant Catwoman becomes a CGI character, Halle seems to turn into plastic version of herself and then back. The effects will really take you out of the film. You would think the director, Pitof, would have demanded more of the visual effects team considering the he himself has been the Visual Effects Supervisor on more than a dozen films.

Overall, the film was just poorly acted, written, directed and executed. With all these factors working against it, is it even worth seeing? No. Even Halle Berry in skin tight leather can't save this flick. Do yourself a favor and avoid this film, avoid it like the plague. Go see The Bourne Supremacy, I haven't seen it but I know it's a far superior film.

- Will

2004-07-19T21:58:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY :"I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it." - Voltaire

SONG OF THE DAY : The Roots - Don't Say Nuthin'

LINK OF THE DAY : Peasant Quest : The Trailer

Let grief Convert to anger; blunt not the heart, enrage it.

Every so often a picture comes a long that leaves me at a loss for words.

Well Blogger has done it again. Gone and fucked around with their posting system. If the blog looks different, you'll know why.

I understand their need to incorporate new features and so forth... But they almost totally redid the system... Once again. It always seems to be right after I've just mastered their current system that they change it. WHY? It makes it more difficult for intrepid bloggers like myself; Having to re-learn everything is just a hassle(hoff). Personally I liked the system they had in place last year, when I, your humble narrator started this site. Bah, whatever. I'll just go with the flow... Just keep it like this for at least six months please Blogspot.

You know what was an interesting novel? I, Robot. By Isaac Asimov. This is classic science fiction, Asimov weaves many different stories about Robots together, with the common theme of equality and understanding. It's all very interesting stuff. The movie however is somewhat different

Inspired by the novel, apparently "Suggested by Isaac Asimov" pits a wise cracking Will Smith against thousands of creepy robotic automatons in 2035 Chicago. What can I say? It's a Will Smith summer blockbuster... It's a fun movie... But not what the book was. Oh well.

On the topic of films, I have the unenviable task of attending a press screening of Catwoman tomorrow. I'll be reviewing for Empire Movies once again.

"Interested in seeing Catwoman on Wednesday?"

"Interested... No. Willing, yes."

Someone has to do it. It's going to be hard though. I'm the guy you heard booing the Catwoman trailer whenever it played in theatres. I've been loathing this films existence, and had no intention of ever seeing it. But here I am, going to see it tomorrow. I'll have to go in with an open, unbiased mind... Not bloody likely. Expect to see the review sometime before Friday.

In other Will news, I'm going to Las Vegas for a few days with the crew at the end of August. Flight is booked and the hotel is waiting. It shall be good times.

Vado itum Deus, Amicum.

- Will

2004-07-14T19:05:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : History will be kind to me for I intend to write it. - Winston Churchill

SONG OF THE DAY : The Killers - Andy, You're A Star

LINK OF THE DAY : It's just not this guys day.

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.

"He knows if you've been sleeping, he knows if you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake!"

What a load of crap. Santa Claus was once the tool of parents. Back in the day every Christmas song having to do with Jolly Old Saint Nick had to do with scaring children into obedience for fear of not getting presents. It's kind of ridiculous if you think about it... I mean if kids actually took the time to really think about it, things might be different.

"Now little Jimmy, no being naughty or the obese, bearded, immortal man who lives at the North Pole won't give you presents for no other reason than the fact that it's Jesus' birthday."

If it's the supposed birthday of Jesus Christ then why isn't he getting presents?
December 25th actually isn't big JC's birthday, nobody really knows when that is. But December 25th was a big time in the Roman Empire. It was the week in which the people of Rome would pay homage to Saturn, the God of Agriculture! OOOH! Watch out for him!
When Christianity started to catch on, in order to convert more people, they conveniently made Christmas (Christ's B-Day Mass I guess) take place on the same day as the big Saturn celebration. Apparently it worked.

But I digress, I was speaking of Santa Claus. I pose this question to you, if you were immortal, and lived at the North Pole(Sounds like Superman), would you really spend your time making toys for ungrateful little shits?

I for one would use my unholy army of elves for some nefarious purpose... Call it Clauskrieg. The Northern Hemisphere would be mine within a year.

Anyways, it's July and I'm talking about Christmas for some reason. We all know X-mas, as the lazy have come to abbreviate it; is just a tool of corporations. It's more a celebration of some fat hermit than some crazy prophet. Yes, I just made fun of Santa's weight problem and Jesus' well known insanity. It's kind of a pointless holiday. I like getting and giving presents... but hell the cost in depression and suicide is actually quite disturbing... more people kill themselves at Christmas than any other time of the year. All because some corporation says we have to be all happy and together on some bullshit holiday. It's a shame.

I'm not going anywhere with this, it's merely a chain of thought I felt like writing down.

Speaking of Christ. I've heard of Jews for Jesus... But Klingons for Christ?
What a world we live in.

- Will

2004-07-10T14:16:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected President but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power. -Arthur C. Clarke

SONG OF THE DAY : TV on the Radio - Satellite

LINK OF THE DAY : My Anchorman Review Got Published!

The little foolery that wise men have makes a great show.

I believe I would give my left nut to see this film.

Finally got a job. I'm cooking and washing dishes at a small restaurant on Queen Street. Me cooking??? Yes, I'm just as amazed as you, but there I was doing it last night... and will be again tonight.

My dad was in the hospital this week. He was recovering from some elective surgery he had.
Now, I have to pose a question... what kind of pathetic fuck steals somebody's clothes and belongings out of their hospital locker, while they're laid up in bed? Oh, I think I just answered my own question there. A pathetic, cowardly fuck. I was so pissed.

This is some quality shit right here. Mario Music on Piano : The Crack Edition.

that is all.

-Will

2004-07-08T01:10:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Not life, but good life, is to be chiefly valued. - Socrates

SONG OF THE DAY : The Hives - Walk, Idiot, Walk

LINK OF THE DAY : Ebert & Roeper Reviews

O, how shall summer's honey breath hold out
Against the wreckful siege of battering days,
When rocks impregnable are not so stout,
Nor gates of steel so strong, but Time decays?

REVIEW
ANCHORMAN : The Legend of Ron Burgundy
8/10 STARS

News Team 4 at it's finest.

In "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy", Will Ferrell stars as Ron Burgundy, a pompous news anchor at Channel 4 in 1970's San Diego. Burgundy and his Team 4 are legendary party animals and womanizers. Brian Fantana (Paul Rudd), field reporter and resident man-whore. Brick Tamland (Steven Carell) weatherman and certified moron. Champ Kind (David Koechner) sports guy and filthy drunk. Channel 4 is #1 in the ratings and Team 4 are veritable kings among men in San Diego. Things run smoothly at Channel 4 thanks to the efforts of Station Manager Ed Harken (Fred Willard) who is more of a father figure to Team 4, than his own troublesome son. All is well at the station until an ambitious newswoman named Veronica Corningstone (Christina Applegate) joins the news team, much to the chagrin of Burgundy and his male colleagues. Burgundy is more interested in pursuing a relationship with Veronica than taking her seriously as a newsperson. Corningstone quickly makes a name for herself, and is soon promoted to Co-Anchor. Ron Burgundy will not be upstaged so he and Team 4 do everything in their sexist, chauvinistic power to embarrass and humiliate Veronica both on and off the air. However, since their combined IQ's are that of a small child, it's a losing fight. Burgundy realizes that maybe he'll need more than his perfectly coiffed hair and the ability to read a teleprompter to upstage Veronica.

Anchorman has to be one of the funniest movies made in the past few years. I was laughing constantly, so hard it brought tears to my eyes several times. Elf proved a Will Ferrell movie could do well, Anchorman will cement his well deserved position as the latest successful former SNL alumni. Ferrell doesn't star as Ron Burgundy, he is Ron Burgundy in this movie. I didn't feel like I was watching Will Ferrell on the screen, I was watching Ron Burgundy. He's playing a literal amalgam of all the cheesy anchormen from yester-year. From the strange random comments Burgundy makes, to the constant ad-libbing, Ferrell is top notch. The rest of the cast is great as well. Paul Rudd, who has yet to have a breakthrough role, really impressed me with his comedy. Also, Steven Carell of Daily Show fame nearly steals the show from Ferrell and the others at times. Much like her character in the movie Christina Applegate proves once again that she's not just another pretty face, she and Will Ferrell's comedic chemistry is what really makes this film work. Main cast aside, the cameos in Anchorman are almost worth the price of admission. The entire "Frat Pack" shows up for a climactic gladitorial battle of the TV News Teams. Tim Robbins and Jack Black also make hilarious appearances.

Imagine the best SNL sketch you've ever seen - Now multiply that by 10 and you have Anchorman. For some this is a good thing, and others... Not so good. Whether you're a fan or not of SNL, you'll like this film. Anchorman is by no means a perfect film, but you'll literally be laughing too hard to care about the very few problems that show up. It has all the camp and capers of a classic Mel Brooks movie, and is just as silly. It is ridiculous at times, it is stupid at times, and confusingly random at times - but it works. It's so silly it works.

If you're in the mood for a good laugh, Anchorman is the perfect movie to see. It doesn't take itself seriously, and neither should you. The director, Adam McKay and star Will Ferrell must have had a blast writing this film, almost as much as they did making it... And it shows. Definitely worth the price of the ticket, and with out a doubt the funniest movie of the year so far.

- Will

2004-06-24T16:54:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Defeat is not the worst of failures. Not to have tried is the true failure. - George E. Woodberry

SONG OF THE DAY : Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around

LINK OF THE DAY : Read about Max and Looq's Crazy trip, as they travel in South-East Asia.

Hear me more plainly.
I have in equal balance justly weigh'd
What wrongs our arms may do, what wrongs we suffer,
And find our griefs heavier than our offences.

Everyone has their own personal Alamo. A seemingly un-winnable fight, against insurmountable odds. Until, a few weeks ago I never thought I would overcome my, personal Alamo.

Now you're thinking, Wow, "Personal Alamo"? What could he be talking about? It must be something serious, something life changing. Most would think otherwise, but I took this battle very seriously. It raged for 15 long years, and was fought on many battlefields. At every turn, something prevented my victory. As Shakespeare best put it in Hamlet,

"How all occasions do inform against me."

What am I talking about?

The Legend of Zelda. For the Nintendo Entertainment System. That's right... A video game.

OLD SCHOOL!

The eternal struggle first began, in 1989. With the death of my dog Gator, I was consoled with the gift of an NES. Zelda and Cobra Triangle were my first games. I was more into Cobra Triangle at the time, a gunboat the drives around blowing up giant sea dragons? Oh yes, life was good.

My dad was the one who was really into Zelda at first. But after a short lived obsession with the game, that nearly saw him beat it... He decided he should stop playing, and has to the best of my knowledge; never touched another game since.

Shortly, thereafter I started getting into the game. I had just read The Hobbit, so I named my character Bilbo and not the traditional Link. It was grade one, and at the time, Mario had been my forte. So Zelda was like a whole new dimension for my small Mario-warped mind. After probably weeks of playing on and off, I was able to surpass my Dad in terms of completion of the game, Level 8; a proud achievement for a kid in grade one.

However, Level 8 would be as far as I could get on the rickety old Nintendo at that time. At one point in the dungeon, you are locked in a room with 10 Darknuts. These armoured bastards block all frontal attacks with their shield so you have to get behind them to kill them. The only downside of this of course, was that it was nearly impossible!!! The Nintendo's framerate would drop to a snails pace with so many enemies on the screen at once. I would have been able to beat them eventually...

Of course I lost the save file. The saving system on the NES was unreliable at best, it involved pressing the power and reset button at the same time, and then praying.

Our family moved to Halifax in 1990, over the next few years I would continue my quest to retrieve the triforce, vanquish Ganon and save the titular Princess Zelda. As others graduated to Super Nintendo, I was still chilling with my NES and Zelda. I would get far, lose the save file, get far in the game again, to the last dungeon in fact and lose the save file. My progress continued like this until one weekend in 1994.

My parents won a trip to New York City. It happened to be on the same weekend as my 10th Birthday, so guess who got to come a long? That's a hell of a 10th birthday present, a weekend in NYC. We did all the touristy stuff, Empire State Building, Statue of Liberty, saw some Broadway shows (Blue Man Group and Guys and Dolls), visited The World Trade Center(Sad to think about in retrospect) etc. Little did I know that while I was enjoying myself in The Big Apple, my NES was crying in agony at home.

My brother, who was staying with friends while we were away had killed my NES. He left it on. With no game in the system, wide open, for 3 days. This killed the NES, it was never the same after that. The battery had been fried, which made saving games impossible. That was the last time I would play Zelda until the advent of Emulators.

Skip ahead to 2000. Six long, Zelda-less years later. I discovered the joys of emulation. Windows programs that mimic the video game consoles of yore, and let you play all your favourite games on the PC!

It was now same shit, different system. Between the computer screwing up, formats, and corrupted save files, I wasn't having any luck.

So I took my rage out on other Zelda games. And as a result I became something of a pro. Completing almost every Zelda game, except the elusive original.

Then back in May I saw something from E3, that spurred me on. Nintendo had unveiled their new Zelda game at this years expo. But I had a slight problem.

In the summer of 2003, I had played through the original, and got as close as I'd ever come to beating it. I got to Ganon, but he whooped my ass. So I quit playing for the day, and went out to my friend's going away party. I met a girl there, so Zelda was the last thing on my mind for the next little while.

During my Zelda hiatus(and bachelor hiatus), my computer fucked up. This time though, I was determined not to lose the Zelda save file. So I backed up all my data on my friends computer. There it sat, for 10 months.

Neither my friend or I had the time or the inclination to return the data to it's original owner up until that point. Spurred by visions of Zelda future, I retrieved the spirit of Zelda past, and sat down to play it one last time.

The save was at the entrance to the 9th Dungeon. After a year of not playing a game, you'd think I'd be rusty... But no. From my years of experience, I know the map like the back of my hand, and every dungeon in minute detail. I went straight to Ganon's lair, and on my first try felled the mighty beast.

I felt like I could have died right then. It was a feeling of such accomplishment and elation. 15 years of effort, coming to fruition instantly. I had rescued the Princess, and returned peace to Hyrule. As the credits began to roll, I couldn't stop smiling. The stirring 8-bit score, brought joy to my heart. Life was good.

It was sad at the same time though, my quest had been more about the journey, and less about the arrival. Though when it finally happened, I was glad to be there.

The Legend of Zelda will always hold a special place in my heart, the game that beat me for so long was finally conquered. Or was it? Once you beat the game, you unlock a second quest. I guess I'll have to beat that now.

- Will

2004-06-22T00:24:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Many forms of Government have been tried, and will be tried in this world of sin and woe. No one pretends that democracy is perfect or all-wise. Indeed, it has been said that democracy is the worst form of Government except all those others that have been tried from time to time. - Winston Churchill

SONG OF THE DAY : K-OS - B-Boy Stance

LINK OF THE DAY : Crazy Japanese Music Video with Robot Dancing.

Upon my head they plac'd a fruitless crown,
And put a barren sceptre in my gripe.

Ah ICQ.
The interesting people you can meet on ICQ, are few and far between. Usually it's a never ending cavalcade of advertising bots, or odd, lonely people. However, it's when someone from a foreign country randomly contacts you, that things can get interesting. Talking with someone who's native language is not that of your own, always proves a fun challenge.

A few days ago, a 19 year old student at the University of Hunan, in China randomly contacted me on ICQ. That's a cool feature of ICQ, if you want to talk with someone from another country, it can be done with less than 3 clicks of the mouse.

Yanding Lou is this guys name. But his English name is Allen. So we'll just call him Al.

In a country that censors the internet use of it's own citizens, I am amazed that they would be allowed to use ICQ. After talking with Al over the course of several days, I came to realize that we weren't all that different. Admittedly, we've grown up in completely different situations though.

Of course, what is the main event involving China that I would have witnessed in my short life? 1989, Tiananmen Square. Obviously, I'm curious what Al has to say about this particular event. Since he himself is a University student, about the age of many of the victims of that sad day.

So Al told me what he knew. His understanding of the incident was that one group of university students had a problem with another group, thinking they were being used by them or something, and as a result of the violence between the groups many people died. Basically he told me what the government of China has been feeding people, a completely untrue story. No mention of the fact that the PRC military slaughtered possibly thousands of non-violent, unarmed protestors.

Amazed by this, I directed Al to a TIME magazine article about what really happened. Of course, due to the Chinese authority's control of the internet, Al was unable to access the site. So I told him, what my understanding of the incident was. I then copied and pasted the entire TIME magazine article into ICQ and sent it to Al. He read it and then replied to me.

no no no
that is not the case
who tell you about that?
it is wrong!
we must regard it objectivly

I was honestly really taken aback by Al's answer. I then posed a question to him, what if he was wrong? What if his government had been untruthful to him? How could the entire Western world be wrong?

I love my country and our leaders!
they are wise enough to lead us

That sounded exactly like some youth anthem, kids are made to sing over there.
Such rhetoric, had been driven into Al's head that he wouldn't accept my version of Tiananmen Square.

In Allen's head the incident hadn't happened the way we all know it really did. I wanted to continue the discussion, but it seemed to be a touchy subject. I was only trying to do what those students tried to do back in 1989, point out to people what their qualms with the Chinese government should be. But Al was either too indoctrinated to accept what I was saying, or too scared to believe what I was telling him. Knowing the Chinese strictly control the internet, I decided not to pursue the conversation any further. I didn't want to get him into trouble.

There are so many tangents I could go off onto at this point, but I'm too tired to continue writing much longer.

I was honestly disturbed. Over here, in North America we're heavily influenced by the media and government. But over there, in China the medium is the message. The influence is crammed down your throat, and if you don't go along with it... Who knows what will happen to you. Ah those communist propagandist, they sure know how to turn a nation of 1.5 billion people into a bunch of fucking pawns.

It really just makes you question what to believe these days. One man's truth is another man's fiction. And no where else was this adage more evident to me. But which is better? The illusion of truth, or a lie?

- Will

2004-06-14T13:57:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable but more useful than a life spent in doing nothing. - George Bernard Shaw

SONG OF THE DAY : TV on the Radio - Staring at the Sun

LINK OF THE DAY : That's gotta hurt.

Set honour in one eye and death i' the other,
And I will look on both indifferently.

The summer is chugging away, as time seems to do. June 14th already, Christmas seemed like yesterday, and all in between a blur.

So I was watching Star Trek The Next Generation the other day. Geeky? Yes. Sue me I grew up watching it. The episode I saw is by far one of the best acted episodes of any TV show ever. For those unfamiliar with the show, Patrick Stewart plays Captain Picard in this second Trek series, considered by many to be the best out of the... 5... Wow talk about kicking a dead horse. Onto the episode.

Picard's answer after being tortured and forced to look at Cardassian porn.

I think it was called Chain of Command. In this particular episode Picard, Worf and Dr. Crusher are sent on a covert mission to a secret Cardassian base. For those of you who don't know Cardassians are one of the many alien races featured on the show. Anyways, someone tips off the Cardassians about this little covert op, and Picard ends up getting captured.

He awakes in the spartan office of a Cardassian officer, played by fellow Brit actor David Warner. The officer begins interrogating Picard, standard military questions. Strengths and weaknesses of Federation forces along the Cardassian border etc.

Of course Picard, being a senior officer will not answer any of the questions. Sick of Picard's steadfastness, he has the Captain stripped naked and chained to a bracket hanging from the ceiling, leaving him there overnight. The next day the officer takes a different approach. Hanging behind the officer's desk are four spot lights. The officer turns them on so that they are shining directly in Picard's face. He then asks Picard how many lights he sees.

"I see four lights." Picard responds.

"No, there are five" The officer calmly states. "Are you quite sure?"

Picard knows what he sees. "There are four lights."

The officer then makes Picard aware of an incision on his chest. As it turns out, while Picard was unconscious the Cardassians had him implanted with a device that allows the officer to send excruciating pain through Picard's body at the touch of a button. The officer then demonstrates the devices effect sending the Captain into horrific pain.

"That was the lowest possible setting." says the officer. "How many lights do you see?"

Picard is resolute, despite the intense pain he will incur because of his answer.

"There are four lights."

Displeased, the officer sighs. "I don't understand how you can be so mistaken."

He then sends another more intense jolt of pain searing through the Captains body.
The torture continues like this for many days, Picard in spite of his captor, will not say that there are five lights. He continues to say what his eyes tell him, there are four lights.

The officer knows that if he can get Picard to say that he sees five lights, he will have broken him. Thusly, he'll be able to get any information he needs out of the Captain.

After more than a week of this torture, Picard is a wreck of a man. Dazed and weakened as he is, he's still resisting the torture.

One morning the officer comes into the room and informs Picard of some recent events. An invasion of Cardassian forces has been a success, and that Picard's ship, Enterprise; is burning in space. He is also informed that no one knows that he is being held captive and it will be assumed that he was killed with his crew on the Enterprise. None of this is true of course, and is part of the interrogation. Finally, the officer offers Picard an ultimatum. Say nothing, and continue to be tortured for years to come, or live comfortably. Free to pursue his interests and live out his life on Cardassia, all he has to do is say that he sees four lights.

In actuality, the Federation has secured Picard's release and guards are coming to get him as the officer and him speak.

Faced with this ultimatum, Picard is unsure what to believe. Unable to distinguish what is real, and what is not. Or how many lights he sees. He is about to say there are five lights as the guards enter. They inform him that he's to be taken back to the Enterprise. As he's about to be led away he turns to the officer one more time and yells, "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!!!" shaking and unsteady as he leaves the room.

The officer did break Picard's will. He almost took his offer. It was only the last minute revelation of the truth, that he would be set free that allowed him to tell the truth. So horrible was the torture that he endured that he actually thought there were five lights and not four.

After watching this episode I thought to myself, what would I do in that situation?
Would I crumble immediately? Or endure days of torture? Or in the end would I betray my country and my very mind, and take the easy way out? Or just keep saying what I knew to be true, that there were four lights, and die.

Makes you think about how your mind can be influenced, even in subtle ways to believe certain untruths. Whether through ignorance or coercion, our minds are biased into believing what they think is true, but may not actually be true.

All I know is that I would try to be strong, in a situation like that there is nothing else anyone can do.

Aside from the interesting questions this finely written and executed episode raises, it's just damn good television. This was the only episode that had a 'viewer discretion advised' warning before it, because the torture scenes were so intense.

Highly recommend watching it if you catch it on TV. Most of the episode is just the Officer and Picard in the office, it could be anything if it wasn't an episode of Star Trek. You don't have to be a Trek Geek to appreciate fine acting and writing.

Vado itum Deus, amicus.

- Will

2004-05-22T02:25:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity. - General George S. Patton

SONG OF THE DAY : Louis Armstrong - Kiss to Build a Dream On.

LINK OF THE DAY : How is your hand eye coordination?

For it so falls out
That what we have we prize not to the worth
Whiles we enjoy it, but being lack'd and lost,
Why, then we rack the value, then we find
The virtue that possession would not show us
Whiles it was ours.

Bleh...

I haven't had the time or the inclination to update the site in a while. I, your humble narrator have been busy... I guess.

Well not really, but the weather is nice and I've been spending most of my time outside, instead of in the computer room. Gone is my winter pallor, instead my face has colour. Red at first, after I fell asleep on the hammock for 2 hours, but now my skin is full of vim.

I wrote that last week.

Now it's a week later.

My monitor was fried by lightning, so now I have a new sweet 17" LCD flatscreen. Beautiful. I also acquired a job. Grocery boy at Loblaws ! WOOO! Life is good.

So, it looks like George Lucas has Special Edition-ized his first film. THX1138. One of the first films to ever portray a Dystopian society, it's a brilliant work of technical directorship. Now old Georgie's Director's Cut makes the film into what he originally intended it to be. Whatever qualms you may have with Mr. Lucas over the Star Wars prequels, forget them. He's a gifted director and editor. Speaking of editing, this trailer for the THX1138 Director's Cut is damn slick, it was edited by Lucas, so there you go. Must see.

THX1138 Director's Cut Trailer

And with that, I'm spent.

- Will

2004-05-10T13:59:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Only the wisest and stupidest of men never change. -Confucius

SONG OF THE DAY : Oakenfold - Ready, Steady, GO

LINK OF THE DAY : The Log of a Gamer.

We go to gain a little patch of ground
That hath in it no profit but the name.

Nothing major today. Just wanted to plug my own little pet project.
The Log of a Gamer
Enter the arena, if you think you're good enough to play.

I'm gone.

- Will

2004-05-06T03:59:00.000-04:00

QUOTE OF THE DAY : Do nothing which is of no use. - Miyamoto Musashi

SONG OF THE DAY : Jurassic 5 - The Influence

LINK OF THE DAY : The Blog of an Average Iraqi

Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.

Step into the looking glass. See what I see.

- Will